SO MAD about SPED coordinator | Autism PDD

I realize that when going to a center or specialized school for a while parents can get confrtable. Not sure who or what this cetner is about, but it may be time to find a new therapist. The may be getting tunnel vsion or in fact too busy, God Forbid, to give your child the needs that your child deserves.

The center my friend used to go to got to be clicky. " Playing the game" Not saying this one is doing that...but if they are, do what is best for you and your child.

My ds's old school would give him 'tardies' if his IEp meeting ran a few
minutes over.
I just read that quote today in a book about the supportive and care
services for our kids that are neither supportive nor caring. So true.
But before I do get all reved up I have to say, that what I am working
hardest on is developing a thick skin and not getting scared off by lack of
knowledge or motivation or tact on the school systems part. As long as I
can work with the system and my son can make progress I can let the rest
slide off my back lick water off a duck. Don't get sidetracked by snotty
little comments but remind them that all of you want your kid to do well
and much of the rest is regulated by district and federal law. Them
whining about stuff like your kid's doctor appointments is just a
distraction.Don't let them make you feel bad because you are not in the "IN CROWD." It is overrated anyway, you don't want to be like them. I do think you need someone on your side, at these meetings. Can you find an advocate to take with you to meetings? Start looking now, so you can be prepared for the next meetings. There will always be people who will judge you because you are not exactly like them or their group. You will need to be the bigger person and rise above it. Seek support and do what is best for you and your kids. It's a long road for us parents who have children who are different, but sometimes these are the children and the parents who change the world. Educate yourself on the laws, treat this as a business meeting, stick to the subject or issues of why you are there. Do not get personnel or let them make it a personnel issue. Hang in There, it will get better. Good Luck and let us know how it goes. Ty I just the main thing is, I moved my family to a very nice neighborhood & we are living in a 2 bedroom apt so that my son can be in a good school district! We could be in a big older house in another part of town, and they could both have their own room, for the price tag of this apartment. We seriously live in one of the nicest areas of the city, if you don't count some of the upscale areas on the edges of the city. My son's school is VERY nice - new building, awesome natural light coming in through the windows, no yellowed florescent light panels!! (this was a big deal for me). I just had no idea that my putting him in an out of district school (because we are still a few blocks too far away to be considered "in the district" for this school) would cause the school to act like they are doing me this huge favor so I better not screw it up.
OMG OK you guys SAW the gifts I made for teachers this year! I also give them Starbucks gift cards for special holidays, write in my DS's communication notebook EVERY night, do his homework & send it back every day in a neat folder EVERY time, He ALWAYS has a jacket packed in case it gets cold, is dressed for the weather, is ridiculously clean (more so than other boys, I think, because I worry about his impression so he is always clean/teath brushed/hair neatly combed/ nails trimmed & you guys have SEEN how nice his clothes are! I go without so much for myself to make sure he will "fit in" at this nice school.
I cannot go to the PTA meetings, I just do not have time & I don't have a babysitter. I cant volunteer during the day because they won't let me bring Arwen & I don't have a babysitter (not even to shelve books in the little library). I am being as involved as i possibly can, but it seems like nothing can compare to the other moms who are PERFECT. PERFECT. Actually, I think they are robots. I swear it is like the Stepford Moms instead of the Stepford Wives!

TY for letting me blow off some steam. tomorrow is teacher conferences & I am going to be the only one their without a Dad with me. My ex is worthless so he never comes to these things. I am just so angry with the school right now.OK Let me just say this conversation was on Thursday morning, and I have been thinking about it off & on but kept brushing it off like I am overreacting.
The SPED coordinator;s response when I told her that i didn't think Gage was getting enough Speech was the following:
"You know, I know parents can run themselves ragged trying to take their child to lots of therapies, but in your position [I am a single mom] I think you just need to take advantages of the services we have here at school."

OK, that seems innocent enough. But then I got to thinking about it today. Um, first of all my son stutters so bad that no one can understand him, and obviously their Speech IS NOT WORKING! Another thing is, she should be telling me how great it is that I am looking into more speech for my son, not telling me to just sit back and let them do all the work. "In my position" I should just be grateful that they let him go to their wealthy school on a permit, is what I feel like she trying to say.
AND THEN she gave me a lecture about the two times Gage has missed to school to see his neuro-opthamologist whom i drive him to an hour away!!! He had eye surgery last year, and he has to get in. This doctor is booked up for months & it takes HOURS in the waiting room to get it all done. What the hell am I supposed to do? I even brought doctors notes - NOT GOOD ENOUGH for them.
This is just the last straw with his school. I have absolutely HAD it. HAD IT! I am going to look into some other options. I have had nothing but problems with this school. The staff has been so discriminatory toward me and i feel like every time I go in there they are focusing the conversations on lecturing ME instead of what they need to do for my son. nothing I do is EVER EVER EVER good enough for that Fing school (no offense but thats the only way to adequately express my frustration right now). They are so focused on telling me all this crap I am suppose to be doing because they know that I am always on their case about what my son needs, force them to write in the communication notebook, tape record the IEPs (They really dont like that but it is my right), and they know I am a strong advocate for my DS. I think they are looking for reasons to harass me until I leave the school. [/quote]

They sound like real losers. I'm sorry you had to go through that, I really am, my sympathy's out for you, good luck at the meeting (if it already hasn't passed yet) I have an Idea, though it may be immature (well, in this culture anyway) why don't you tape record what they say and report it to the state, do it during the meeting. Those meetings, IMO are the times they really show their assy side, trust me, I've been right in the middle of it. Maybe then it'll put an end to their nonsense (If this has already passed, do disregard the message, but do feel free to reply if you wish)

[quote=locki]Don't let them make you feel bad because you are not in the "IN CROWD." It is overrated anyway, you don't want to be like them. I do think you need someone on your side, at these meetings. Can you find an advocate to take with you to meetings? Start looking now, so you can be prepared for the next meetings. There will always be people who will judge you because you are not exactly like them or their group. You will need to be the bigger person and rise above it. Seek support and do what is best for you and your kids. It's a long road for us parents who have children who are different, but sometimes these are the children and the parents who change the world. Educate yourself on the laws, treat this as a business meeting, stick to the subject or issues of why you are there. Do not get personnel or let them make it a personnel issue. Hang in There, it will get better. Good Luck and let us know how it goes.[/quote]

Well said, Locki, I may not be a parent, but that was my tactic. I really did stick to it, more then they claim I did. and yes, miss Hope2 GET AN ADVOCATE (Mind you, one that isn't a conformist jerk and thinks you're a bad parent, dump someone like that in a heartbeat). We had a really nice lady named Jan Greiser from ARC of Great Rivers here in MN, who really gave the school system a hard time back when I was in HS, because Honestly, You and my parents had the same troubles "Nothing was ever good enough" seemed to be the theme of all my IEP meetings, and my mother and father were getting tired of it. Unfortunately she is no longer with us, but I was merely citing her as an example, and a great former friend.

Serge out
Man, they're giving you a hard time over 2 days? If I have that kind of issue with B, I don't know what I'll do. I am sending you some hugs and I hope things get better there soon.

For what it's worth, we have a rule at both boys' schools, as well as at their summer camp, that they have to be fever free and vomit free for 24 hours before then can come back. If they throw up at school or get sent home for a fever, they are not allowed back the following day no matter what the cause. (Of course if they get sick AFTER school, you certainly don't have to tell, and you can send them the next morning if they feel fine, but if they announce "I threw up last night" to the teacher, you get a phone call!

That makes me mad that they would give you a hard time for him missing school 2x.

It's not like you were just keeping him home, he had to go to the doctor.

I've had trouble with the school nurse at Q's school. She chastized me in the hallway one morning when i was bringing him in( we were a few minutes late) because he had gotten sick at school the end of the day before. In her eyes I was wrong for bringing him in. I really thought he was ok. He told me that he felt better. I thought that maybe his lunch didn't agree with him and that was what made him throw-up(sorry if TMI). I was soo mad that i called the principal and complained.
Too make a long story short I've wondered if she was treating me like that(it happened once before) because they want him out of there and because i'm a single parent.
momof139355.632337963
Copyright Autism-PDD.net