My son was just diagnosed with ASD last week, and needless to say, there is a lot of tension and mood swings in the house.
How do I try to get Liam's 4 yo sister to understand what is going on? It seems as though I am constantly breaking up fights (violent ones) because he gets frustrated with her and can't express himself. Sometimes, I believe he is actually trying to engage her in play, but doesn't know how else to do it without tackling her.
Is anyone using a child security alarm? I "lost" Liam for about 10 minutes on Sunday when I was bringing the dogs outside, and I was running up and down the street in my pjs screaming his name. Of course, I got no answer. I eventually found him because he made a noise. He had managed to get into the garage and was sitting in the dark. I have never been so terrified in my life. I brought him inside and just fell to the ground and sobbed. I never want this to happen again, but I have to be realistic. Any words of advice or suggestions would be appreciated...
Thank you!
((((hugs)))))
I can imagine how you felt, I just helped a little boy wandering a busy street in only his diaper he got out of his house somehow and we saw him driving down the street, I knew it must be autism the hands were flapping and he looked as happy as a lark...we got him home and the mom was in tears, I felt so bad, I wanted to stay and help her...its so hard sooo hard!
It is overwhelming...I'm sorry you're having a hard time hon...you need to take sometime for you really you do! Even a walk if you can, or instead of going online to research all night once the kids are in bed, take a nice hot bath and read a magazine or trashy book, your mind needs some time off, I know its hard and probably the last thing you wanna do, I feel like that a lot myself, then I say...well if mommy is in breakdown mode, its not good for anyone...especially my son...so I make myself take a break and do something mindless or relaxing...I hope this helps you some, I really feel for you...we had to put looks on the door really high up so he couldn't reach them...how old is Liam...that might work, they were just the little hook locks real cheap at the hardware store...anyway best of luck to you hon!
hugs!!!
Ali
My Liam is 34 months old and has the biggest brightest blue eyes and smiling face I've ever seen. He may have ASD, but he is also my "crystal" child, if anyone is familiar with that term. Many crystal and indigo children are being labeled with Autism and ADD but that can't possibly describe their many gifts!
Know for the losing him part, We've installed hook and eye locks on our screen doors, up high so he can't get to them ,also an alarm on the door so when it opens and alarm will sounds.As far as the child alarm, i haven't use one yet but i am checking into them.Cause he likes to disapeer while were out in public.Try ebay and look under autism. they had some there , they weren't to badly price.hope this helps you some. take care.mom2carlo
I can imagine the terror, I had a like situation once, someday I will tell you and I promise you will laugh! Just picture me running naked and wet without my glasses, shampoo still in my hair and streaming into my eyes, with DH in hot pursuit behind me, trying to find my baby. I know there are GPS systems and I think the y have like a 30 dollar monthly fee. In my area the police can get them for you at a discount. SO far for us the baby door knobs keep him inside. Of course that will not last forever.
I am so sorry that your children are not always getting along and I dont really have any words of wisdom on that one, but I am sure that others here will. I am the older sister of a MR brother so I grew up in a situation sort of like your daughter.
Thank you for your words of support Jean. I am having a really down day today. I am feeling so completely overwhelmed and worrying if I am doing everything I can for him. Of course, I am forgetting about myself...not sleeping or eating right. I work all day, pick up the kids and tend to them until bed time, then I begin researching. That seems to take me until midnight or so, but it is the only time I have to myself. We have a family vacation coming up (our first one), and I don't even want to go. I want ot crawl under my bed and hide.
Hi. I'm so sorry that you had to go through that with your son. That must have been terrifying. About siblings. Adam has 2 older siblings but they are much older and explaining to them about Autism was even difficult for their age..12 and 11 at the time. It was difficult because of their age though...so many questions they had for me that I wasn't even ready to try and answer myself. Also because they are so much older.....they worry the way that adults do about his future and that makes it so difficult to see my older children worry about things they shouldn't even have to think about. For a four year old sibling I would keep it simple and to the point as much as possible. About the running...there have been many posts on here in the past about this very thing so I'm sure that someone is going to come along soon and help you with that one. Take care.
Karrie
Kayskifox~
I am so sorry that you are going through this. I can relate to the sadness; it's especially hard on me when we are around other "typical" children. When Michael was just past his 2nd birthday (and didn't have a dx yet) he ran off in Rainforest Cafe' in a gigantic outlet mall here. I was there with some family and we didn't even see him escape; we were packing up to leave and suddenly I looked up and he was gone. I LOST it!! I kept imagining him wandering around this TREMENDOUS, CROWDED mall all alone. Thankfully, my mom spotted him crouching down in a corner in the bar area. I was never so frightened in my entire life. It's gotten a little better over the last year, but I still hold his hand tight whenever we are out somewhere. It's not easy because he has a brother 18 months younger than he is (almost 2 y.o.). Michael has a new fascination with the outside air conditioner units on our house and on both our neighbors' houses. Whenever we are going somewhere or getting home and I am trying to get the boys into the car or into the house, he will run to the sides of the house to watch the big fans inside all the units. Yesterday, he did that when we were leaving to take him to school, then proceeded to run out and cross the street. Thankfully, we live in a quiet community on a cul-de-sac, so no cars were out. Before I had kids, I thought those "leashes" that people use sometimes were the cruelest thing in the world. Now, there have been days where I've comtemplated getting one for DS!! It's really such a safety issue!
Can you find a parent support group in your area? My son just started a specialized preschool and I am so fortunate because they have loads of support groups for parents and families. You may want to contact your local ASA (Autism Society of America) chapter; I'm sure they can offer you a lot of resources. It's so different when you realize that you are not alone in this. When I see the number of students who attend my son's preschool, it is comforting to know that there are SO many others out there dealing with these same issues - some worse, different, etc.
Here's a link to ASA's home page: www.autism-society.org
I also came across this website sometime back that has some things you may be interested if the escaping escalates:
Please know you are not alone! Big ((((HUGS)))) to you!
Jen