Social question | Autism PDD
When my oldest son Jeffery (14) was around 5 years old he used to go up
and smell people, we were in target one day and a lady was kneeling
down looking at a toy and he walked up and smelled her hair. I
explained to her that he was autistic and she just smiled and said
that's okay, he is a cutie. Of course, at that time I had this
fear that one day he would do that when he got older and somebody's
boyfriend would not be as understanding. But I'm happy 
to say that he doesn't do that (as much), over the past couple of years
he has learned to go up and greet people with a hello and
handshake.
He also did something today that I have never seen him do. He was
outside riding his scooter with his brother when some of the
neighborhood kids came down. They were all riding their scooters
and skateboards, then two of the boys sat down to talk, I noticed
Jeffery walk over and stand there for a little bit (usually he'll stand
for about a second or two then take off), well today he not only stood
there for a while, but he sat down with the other boys and his
brother. He sat there for a good 5 minutes. The other boys
were talking to Jeffery (they know he is autistic, but they still
included him). Whenever he sees the neighorhood kids outside
playing, he runs and grabs his scooter and rides with them. They
all give him high-fives and one little boy who lives up the street
(angel walking on earth), comes down to play with Jeffery, he talks to
him and plays with him just like he does with the other kids. The
little neighborhood boy told me that he loves to play with Jeffery,
even though he doesn't really talk, he likes to be around Jeffery
.
Adam used to only be social with older kids and Adults but he is making more and more progress here lately. Now when we take him to school and we walk in the door he see's his classmates and gets excited and runs in waving and saying HI!!! Of course we did teach him to say hi when he comes in the door but he does it on his own now and the excitment is truly his.
Karrie
Both of my kids are like that. We had to teach them appropriate play and social skills. But it doesn't help them much when they tend to be the one of the tallest in their age group, lol.
Tammy
Yes I have this issue. Just recently ds has finally started to sometimes notice other children. I think it is due to some of his tv shows where they have babies like on Dora. The other day at Walmart he pointed and said a variation of "baby" at someone holding a baby. I praised him intensely on that, because it's so rare he even notices other children. And recently he also almost tried to interact w/ his 4 yr old cousin. Anyone his own age though might as well not be there. But he has improved for sure. He has always interacted pretty well w/ his 4 yr old sister, but mostly it is just parellel play and he "uses" her for his own play many times. :-) But this is a common issue among those w/ children on the spectrum I've found and you aren't alone.
And marksdad I understand your issues. When my ds does interact w/ other children sometimes he scares them away. Above when I said he tried to interact w/ his cousin, what he did was walk up to her and stick his nose right up in her face and start babbling nonsense words to her loudly. She got freaked out and backed up and walked away from him. He didn't try again lol. Poor guy. I was proud of him anyway for trying, which isn't common for him to do. And sometimes children and adults even seem upset when he ignores them. When we were at a checkout recently a lady was behind us who obviously loves kids. She was talking a lot to my 4 yr old dd. Well ds was in the cart and she kept trying to talk to him but he never even looked at her as if she wasn't there. She seemed sort of hurt or offended or something, so I explained to her that he is often not very social.
Amber
My son is 4 years old. My question is he seems to be social (the best way he knows how) with older children and adults. But for children younger than him or his age..FORGET IT! He just treats them like they don't exist.
Does anyone else have this problem?
Also...is there such a thing as teaching your child to be social...everything it seems has to be taught to Ryan..as in say good-bye, etc. Does there come a day that he will ever be able to do this on his own?
Thanks,
Kelly
Jake is the same way. He gets along great with adults but runs in terror from kids his age.Hi Kelly,
This is actually very common, alot of kids have uneven social skills, they prefer to play with children either older or younger but not the same age group. We too have to teach social skills, as they don't come easy with our son, we've got the greetings down and he can follow some sorts of social situations, mainly taught thru ABA but if someone asks him something that he's never encountered, forget it, he'll just non chalantly walk away. with alot of work and possibly a social skills group, he could make very good progress. I try to be within ear shot so when my son is speaking to another child his age, I can coach him on what to say/how to answer/ what to ask in response. It's alearning process for all of us.
Hi Kelly,
We are also working on being social to other children. Nicholas is 4 1/2 and he does say bye bye and will give high fives if someone asks for one, he even initiates them from me sometimes (those are super!!!) but I will for example tell a young child his age "hey, high five guys!" and the other kid will go up to Nicholas and my guy will know what to do back and for a second its really nice...we are still working w/ ABA on greeting...I mean like you said, with me and dh and adults he knows like uncles, aunts and grandmom's he beams when he sees them but kids his own age they are barely there...its getting better though, he was showing off for a friend's little boy the last time they visited, her Nicholas is also the same age and same dx so I think their was less pressure for him and he just had fun w/ it.
I wish you lots of luck! you aren't alone! hugs!
Ali
Social interaction is one of our most depressing sitatuations lately. Other 2.x year olds seem to so effortlessly interact with other kids their age. Our son has interest in kids his age, but when he approaches them, he's a mess of echolalia, stimming, and odd touching (like he's seeing what they'll feel like if he touches them!).
Trips to the playground aren't as happy as they once were...
My son is the same way. Now that he can express himself verbally he even says, " I hate kids", I hate babies". He does much better with some adults. But he said the other day he did not like one of the adults at his school because she smells bad. I don't know if he will ever be social, but I am hoping that one day he will tolerate children his age and younger., and use a little tack.
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