New Member | Autism PDD

Hello Everyone,

My name is Kay, and I just received a diagnosis of PPD/Autism for my 2y10m son Liam on this past Thursday. He has been recieving early intervention for a year now (speech, OT, special instruction)but is unable to say any words etc. Needless to say, I was still not ready for the diagnosis. I guess I really thought I would wake up one day and my son would say "Hi Mom, I love you!" and life would return to normal.

My husband and I are going through a grieving process right now, and we both work full-time to make ends meet. I also have a 4 year old daughter who is really having a tough time with her brother..he can be very aggressive when he gets frustrated. I am looking to find local support groups or any kind of support that is out there right now as to how to get through this initial stage and start healing.

Thanks for listening,

Kay

(((HUGS))) You have come to the right place. I hope you find the support and answers you are seeking here.

Hi Kay and welcome to the board. I just wanted to let you know that everyone of us has been in your shoes. I think it's great that you've joined you'll find that lots of us have been thru alot of what your going thru. we're hear to listen, support and offer positive advice. My son is 4 , Pdd-Nos and my daughter is 7,NT so I know all to well the struggles that go along with the family dynamics, then throw autism into the mix and well let's just say I call it my"3 ring circus" Over time it does get easier, in a sense, you adjust and accept the fact that things will be alittle different. The great thing is that Liam is so young, early intervention is key. I wish you peace and I want you to know that we're here for you.

Eileen

Welcome to the board. Do you mean your child was diagnosed with pdd-nos/autism?

Tammy

This is a great board, friendly and helpful individuals, I'm sure your going to get a lot out of this board. Welcome

Welcome to the board Kay. I hope you find it as supportive as many of us here have.

Welcome Kay,you found the right spot for help.Everyone here is wonderful, very helpful people. Hang in there and take care.mom2carlo

Thank you all for your wonderful support. Any suggestions on how to comfort a spouse when I am unable to comfort myself right now?a very dear friend of mine, whose son is in his 20's, said that very seldom are husband and wife on the same emotional page during this "trip" which she pointed out isn't a bad thing, it helps for the times that when one is weak, the other is strong.I find this very true in my own marriage. we both want what is best for our son, we make plans together(tho most of the burden is on my shoulders) but there are days when I am weak and overcome with sadness and despair and he is there to put it back into perspective for me and vise versa.Men generally handle these things alot worse, i know for mine, the thought of his only son being "different" is hard but when when push comes to shove, we know that we are in this together, we are resolved tomake things right, for both kids, we try to do what's best, we give them the best that life has to offer, unconditional love. It takes it's toll on the marriage but just remember to try to make time for eachother. for better for worse rings in my ears and truelly, things could be alot worse.

Welcome and I'd like to offer big hugs to you and your dh, I so know how you feel!

Its really hard when our kids first get dx'd, not so easy afterwards either but its better than that first shock to your system that feels like you've been kicked in the stomach or something...it will get easier and school is going to be great for your guy...will he be attending when he's 3 or have your figured all that out yet, if not, ask EI about it.

As far as helping out dh deal, just be there for him, even though you need help through this too, you both can be there for each other...think of it as you both are on this journey together and will be partners in getting what is best for your wonderful little one.

My dh was first in denial which angered him that I even would think something was wrong w/ our son (Nicholas is 4 1/2 now and dx w/ pdd/nos at 29 mths) ...he then became so sad and felt helpless when he accepted it and we would try to be strong for each other but would also cry and breakdown many many times, sometimes I'd be there for him, other times he would be there for me, sometimes we'd both be a mess...regardless be honest about how you feel and let him know its okay to be afraid and sad and to try to think positively about how you both can really help him now that you know what you are up against. I mean look at who he has in his corner, two parents who love him to peices and are going to do thier best no matter what!

I bet you are both wonderful and I hope that you have lots of luck w/ your precious child!

this board has gotten me through many hard times, great people here, glad you found us!

hugs!

Ali

Jenni,

This is a great, great board! The link below may also help you to find a support group in your area.

http://www.autism-society.org/site/PageServer?pagename=Chapt erIntro

Best Regards to your family, I know that it is very difficult. If ya need to vent, here is the place to do it!

Welcome, Kay. I know how difficult this time is, and it can be very hard on you as a couple. Everyone handles grief differently, but I think most women - myself included, want to talk and cry and let the emotions out, and most men tend to retreat and think and do anything but talk about it all the time. At first, I was offended that my husband wouldn't talk about it more, but I finally realized that he needed to experience that time his way, so I found a sounding board in my mother, my sister, and my friends, and gave my husband some space. We made it through that time and both have very positive attitudes now - and you will too. Hang in there, and I'm glad you found the board.

Rachel

Welcome Kay,

I'm Karrie I have a 3 year old son with Autism. I'm glad you found this board and I hope it helps you as much as it has me.

Karrie

Welcome to the board! Wish I had words of wisdom for you and your DH. My DH is in denial. But this board is wonderful source of support and full of information!

Hi Kay-

I can only second everything that's been said. This is a great board with intelligent and caring people--that's a tough combination to find!! We all understand and it's safe to come here and vent. My son Paul is HFA (high functioning autism) and is 10 yrs old. He's made tons of progress after being dx'd at 2. It's a tough road but you're way ahead of the curve being here and already having your son in intervention.

Welcome.

pat

Hello Kay and welcome! I am new to the board but not to autism. My daughter was diagnosed at the age of 4 1/2 and is now 14 1/2. Have dealt with the same feelings you guys are going through. You are better off then we were in the sense that we didn't start good intervention until she was about 6 1/2. You have better chances than we did. Keep ur head up and my prayers are with you. Welcome Kay,

It does get easier. If your husband is amenable could he see a counselor? Maybe he doesn't want to burden you with his feelings right now but it may help him to talk to someone. It may be that he needs some time and when you are feeling stronger then you can come together to talk about how you both feel.

I also feel that a little hope goes a long way. Some of the books you read about Autism are so depressing but there are others out there that offer real hope and good solid therapy ideas.

I have two children with Autism and I thought that one of them especially would never talk. They are both doing extremely well and can both talk, in fact some days I just about pull my hair out because of all the chatter.

I know that journalling also helped me a lot when I was trying to cope. That is when you just write out all your frustrations, fears etc and then read it aloud to the four walls or someone you trust. It is very cathartic. The first one I did at a respite camp started with the sentence "The joy in my life.........".

I understand the grief you are feeling, I'm sure we all do here. I was 8 months pregnant when my son was diagnosed and of course once the baby was born went straight into depression.

Keep posting and hugs to you both.
cherylann38586.7668518519

Hi Kay. Welcome! This is a wonderful supportive board, so you've come to the right place. My 27 mth old son is getting his eval next mth. I also have a 4 yr old dd.

I'm sorry of what you are going through. Many here have been through a process of grieving, denial, frustration, and many more emotions. Especially when it's unexpected, it can be such a shock and very confusing. Believe me, when you hear some of the great progress on here you will see that it doesn't have to be the end of the world for your son. He can still live a wonderful happy life. It maybe won't be what you pictured when he was born, but it will still be great. My best to you and your husband during this hard time.

Amber

All of your encouragement and support is making a world of difference to me, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

How do I try to get his 4 yo sister to understand what is going on? It seems as though I am constantly breaking up fights (violent ones) because he gets frustrated with her and can't express himself. Sometimes, I believ he is actually trying to engage her in play, but doesn't know how else to do it without tackling her.

Is anyone using a child security alarm? I "lost" Liam for about 10 minutes on Sunday when I was bringing the dogs outside, and I was running upp and down the street in my pjs screaming his name. Of course, I got no answer. I eventually found him because he made a noise. He had managed to get into the garage and was sitting in the dark. I have never been so terrified in my life. I brought him inside and just fell to the ground and sobbed. I never want this to happen again, but I have to be realistic.

Thank you!