Siblings..... | Autism PDD

Sounds like you are doing a good job and you understand each of your childrens feelings....and don't doubt yourself---YOU know what's best, even if your kids don't agree with you at the time. I think it's great that you are disciplining your kids cuz there are lots of parents out there that let them just run wild. My son has some issues similiar to what you are dealing with...since my daughter has autism (severe).

Every time my daughter Abby (almost 3 yrs old) has therapy, my son Dylan (4 years old) totally acts up---being obnoxious, hyper, and loud, jumping around the therapist...it's a zoo sometimes! I explain to him that Abby has autism and she needs us to help her, but it doesn't seem to matter to him. And with the disciplining, it's the same problem you have, my daughter "gets away with more" than her brother because she deals with situations differently, but he's too young to understand that sometimes she can't handle certain situations.

Have you explained to Emmalyn that Eli has autism? Does she understand what it is and how it affects his daily living? Just curious because that could maybe help? Plus one thing I try is to tell Dylan that Abby needs HIS help too, then he feels a little responsibility to help also. And he gets little rewards for when he "helps out" with his sister.

Don't feel bad-- you are doing a great job! Not sure if my comment will help you at all but just remember that there are alot of others out there in similiar situations. :)

We're really struggling at our house with siblings fighting.
Emmalyn who is 6 (going 18) is not showing a whole lot of compa**ion or patience with Eli right. She is bit of a drama queen, and to be honest I think she is jealous of any extra lee-way Eli might regarding his behavior. No matter how much I talk to her she is still pushing his buttons, fighting back with him and even making fun of him.
Emmett who is two...and really really going through cla**ic terrible twos...cannot at this point understand Eli always. Not only is he going through typical 2yo behavior, but he also mimics a lot of what Eli does. So I have 2 kids screaming high pitched when someone touches them without their consent...etc.

It's hard to have patience myself and know what to do. It's like everyone needs their own method of discipline and reward...and how do I make the other two feel like Eli is not getting away with stuff? Plus how much should Eli "get away with"? There's such a fine line.
When Eli is having a bad day and it seems like WWIII around here.....they all need to get in some sort of trouble so they know it's not acceptable.....is sending Eli to his room or setting him down with a dinosaur book appropriate while the other kids are having time outs or doing work around the house? Looking at a dinosaur book will calm him down and make the bad behavior stop and a time out or working will just make it continue. BUT my 6yo thinks he's getting off easy.

How do I make her have compa**ion and understanding....how do I discipline the 2yo correctly when his primary example is Eli?

Anyone else dealing with this?

Silly question! I'm sure you are!! So what are you doing to make it better?? I have not explained it in detail to Emmalyn yet. We do not have an official dx yet and I don't want to throw that word at her until we know for sure. She is very bright and I have tried to explain some of his differences to her...but I don't know how well I'm doing.
He's very high functioning...so to her it may just seem like he's being a bratty brother.

Anyone have any suggestions on what to say to her?I also think you are handling it the best that you can. Hang in there!

My kids are close in age as well, and before the docs were completely convinced it was pddnos (they thought he still could have prematurity issues - was 14 wks early), I told them. Felt Jack needed to know.

I told both boys together that Cole "has autism...but just a little bit, not too bad." Jack had just turned 3 and knew Cole didn't pay attention to him, didn't listen to him, was still in pullups & Jack was not, etc. Furthermore, Cole had just escaped out a gap in our fence, and I nearly lost him in a POND.

Anyway, I pointed out what things Cole was excellent at & the things that Jack was excellent at. Then I said Cole could use some help with xyz, and Jack could use help with abc. Brothers help each other, and there was nobody on the face of the earth that loved Jack as much as mommy, daddy, and cole. Cole just has a little bit of autism, so he needs our help. He cannot help it, just like you cannot help that you have blue eyes...its how you guys are, period.

Anyway, your daughter might benefit from "the talk". If she sees kids at school wearing glasses or in special education, or whatever, she knows that people just need extra help in certain areas.

BTW, Jack - then just 3 said - that's okay Mommy. I'll help you take care of Cole - we can BOTH be the big brother. And then he said "I love you, Cole!". Cole smiled, hugged his baby brother, and said I love YOU, Jackie!. We have had absolutely no sibling rivalry since.