Hi Mindy
My daughter has rather impairing problems I call spatial and temporal dylexias, but is a very gregaroius person. She is a gift to my son and I. Some call a person with traits, but who is not socially dyslexic an 'autistic cousin'.
(social dyslexia was my term since secondary school because I needed some explanation besides oppositional defiant etc.
My daughternlaw told me yesterday of something that really bugged her (we were both sitting there bouncing our legs vigorously and I know she was going to react=intuition?) So I got a chance to explain and to tell her to let it go and work on something else. I hope my advice helps her because she has taken on a tough task. And Rewarding
I don't know if I am on the spectrum. We think our father was as we had just accepted his social quirkiness as just being "Dad" but now that we have more information b/c of Ash, we think he has Aspergers.
Everyone has always said I was crazy and I know that I think differently then others but I am a socail butterfly (don't really fit into one clique, but drift into most all of them). No real issues socializing at all. Now, communicating when I am frustrated or upset, yes, major issues. I don't argue well at all.
When people say things about Ash to me, sometimes I just want to scream at them that it's not all in my head, we've had trained diagnosticians tell us his issues. I have done tons of research, continue to read books, talk to other parents, the whole lot. I just have come to a point where I don't think I have to justify his behavior. If he wants to make car noises in the grocery store and he's not too loud or hurting anyone, I let him.
Thanks for the post and all I can hope for is for my son to do the same as yours!
Mindy
Hi guys,
Here's the short of it, we have a son, Ash, who turns 4 in Nov.
Noticed, only son, Ash's lack of coherent speech and that he was behind others his age around 2.5 but every time we thought about getting him eval'ed, he made improvements, so we put it off
Finally had him eval'ed by Speech Pathologist around 3rd birthday, Pathologist said he was was physically fine and all of the pieces were there but he was way behind and she though that we needed to get him tested for Autism
We knew he was pretty quirky but we didn't think of Autism. Shocked, we called our school district and had him tested by a load of different diagnosticians who said they were thinking it was Mild Autism, Aspergers, or PDD-NOS but they couldn't tell until they had him for a little bit (he was very uncooperative during the eval) Feb 07
Got him in PPCD (Preshool Program for Children w/Disabilities) Mar 07
He's been in summer school and started a new school district this year (we moved into one of the best school districts in Houston area so that Ash would have a better chance)
He's made vast improvements in speech, communication, & behavior since he's been in school and scores very high on all intelligence tests. He now comes up with original sentences and has actually invited other kids to play (I almost cried when he invited the kids playing across the street to come over and play...)
Autistic Behaviors include major delayed echolalia, problems with eye contact, problems with new or changing situations, problems with staying focused as he has a world he retreats into and it's noticable by the expression (or lack there of) on his face, he is very loud, easily frustrated, some meltdowns but they are getting more infrequent, poor dexterity, sensory issues with clothes and certain textures (like he immediately begins to drool when he touches slimy things), some repeatative hand motions but they are almost non existant now
A-typical Autistic Behaviors include that he is very tuned into other people's feelings, especially if they are hurt or crying, very affectionate, very manipulative, seeks out the company of others, eats really well, fully potty trained soon after turning 3, loves water (he'll put his own head under water), loves to do anything outdoors, understands some sarcasm
So here are my 2 questions that have been burning me, although I am sure I will have more later....
1. Since we went through the school district, we have not had him DX'd medically. Can anyone offer pros & cons of this? We are reluctant to do so as we don't know how it will affect him now and later on so any help on this would be great.
2. What on earth do you say to people who say things like, "Every child does that", "He looks normal to me", "He'll just grow out of it", etc.... or those that stare or frown and move their children away like he's got a disease. Even close friends really upset me when they say certain things....
OK, so that's it. It's much longer then I thought but I figure you only post this stuff the 1st time. Any help on my questions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks~~!!
Hi Nutter
I have considered your well thought out post. It seems like the parent area would have more answers on both your questions. I don't know anything about moving a post but saw that it is done. I do not mean to offend by asking if you are on the spectum also. Many parents have found they are after their child is diagnosed. I was, but had the diagnosis until age 5 also.
This is a Spectrum. Everyone has strengths and difficulties on of off it. I am not convinced the difficulties ever go away. Behavior can be trained to be more acceptable. Tolerance and understanding should allow many ASDs to participate in society. It is in short supply. Give your son the skills he needs to interface with non-spectrum people. Don't focus on changing to get off the spectrum. If it happens, you can be excited then.
My son was under dx'd as ADHD and made it through mainstream to have a wife and career. We did not know until college, but I always knew from before birth that he was the same as me whatever that might be. Life/society is always frustrating for him (and me) but still fulfilling and I would never want to change to be like 'normal' social people.
Get him all the help you can. If your insurance will help with a dx, get it; if they will cut him off from any care as mine did, stay with the school system. My brother has done the latter, but because wife in denial after 8 years. Children are out of his reach now. Parents can tell you more about finding services and insurance issues.
I can tell you on the second question that it never stops and I have no idea in 50 years how to respond to this insensitivity. I prefer to keep my so called 'insensitivity to others' because I never deliberately put people down to make me seem better or them worse off. I only hurt feelings by accident! I am still being told I am not ASD by ignorant and trained professionals. Then they are highly vested in making any oddity seem innocent just like everyone experiences. These are the persons I fear most no matter how nice they seem on surface.
Actually this applies generally too. The better I pa** the more people expect and diminuate my missing fit with society and the more they over rage at my slips or falls. Sometimes, like just being fired for a small slip under great duress, was because despite informing about my ASD and how to communicate, they needed to push until they get a reaction.
Don't let that deter you from giving him the tools to pa** .
carmen
what is with the the ****s in place of esses?????
is P A S S a bad word here?
The new language filter bites again lol.I think its time to fix the sentivity of this sensoringI have recently learned at an Asperger support group that 'NT' is offensive to persons who are not or seem not to be on the spectrum. Now I am supposed to say non spectrum, but that may offend some too. Is it the 'typical' ness that offends the 'unique' individuals? or not being autistic? Maybe they are jealous of us.
And some ASD's are offended by bieng called a "puzzle" as in the ribbon. This is hearsay and not sure why it is offensive, but I am only a puzzle to others, not me. I don't like pity or attempts to call/make me a typical. I like my mind.
can't please everyone