Hello! I'm brand new to this forum although we have had a dx of high-functioning autism for about a year. My ds is 5 and is in full-day kindergarten this year. My concern is this. I breastfed him from the beginning, and unlike so many of my friends, he did not want to stop. That was fine with me - I'm a big believer in it. So we kept going, and going, and going (obviously, it got less nutritionally important as he began to eat solid foods). But it seemed to be very important to him to continue. This was way before we suspected something was wrong. At the age of 2 1/2+, I finally called a halt to it.
OK - I'm very aware of the public nature of this forum so I'm tiptoeing around the subject - does anyone have a child who had/has a hard time letting go of this comfort long after they should?
Thanks,
Joanna
My username is my name plus the initials of my last name! I'm not very good coming up with cute nicknames, but I don't want to post my real name either, so that's what I use. I have to say, I've never heard that joke you are referring to, although I can figure it out, but I guarantee I'm real, with a real child, and a real concern.
I can change my user name if someone will tell me how...
Really, truly, Joanna
hmmm... im certainly not 1 to doubt... but...It is a little unclear from your post if you discontinued breastfeeding at 2-1/2 or are still struggling with it now that your son is 5.
Two and a half may seem very late in American culture, but a lot of Norwegian mothers shoot for breastfeeding 2 years or longer. My youngest son was 2-1/4 when I called it quits. He didn't want to stop, I did (he was biting).
Welcome to the forum, btw. I'm looking forward to getting to know you better.
I think the easiest way to explain the concept of private body parts is this quote from www.drpbody.com:
"Bathing suits cover the parts of your body that are private. People should keep these parts of their body to themselves. You should not touch someone else’s private parts and they should not touch yours."
You can find the quote and a bathing suit coloring page at this page on their website:
http://www.drpbody.com/images/PersonalSafety_coloring_page.p df
Good luck with everything!
my little one is going on 18 months and I'm still BF her. I am going to try and put my foot sown by two, but I don't think she's going to like it...
Sorry for the vagueness of the question - I had a whole description of the problem written out and then I had a vision of the police showing up at my door to arrest me after misinterpreting what I was saying, so I deleted it!
Aack - this is not the low-key question I thought I'd post my first time
Joanna
I don't know about anyone else - but I see trouble later on, if not sooner! I think you need to work more on "private space". He might at some point generalize this to some woman and then all he** will break out!
This is a tough one - not something you can share with a lot of people for fear of having social services called on you. NOT that I think you deserve that by any means - but when a child is doing inappropriate sexual touches (even if he doesn't intend them in a sexual way) people will start to wonder about sexual abuse. I just went to a training on sexual abuse. Anyway, I'm not sure what the answer is - but you definitely need to work on boundaries and also getting him attached to something ELSE for comfort.
I breastfed both my kids past age 1 by the way - I'm not against it by any means! But just warning you what society may think...
The worldwide AVERAGE age of weaning is 6. SIX. In this country, we are way behind the average, obviously, and we have many misconceptions about breast feeding. Nature intended kids to nurse as long as possible, for many reasons - health, safety, comfort, to name just a few.
There is nothing detrimental about extended breastfeeding and everything positive about it. It is very unusual for a child to approach a random mother for the same breast closeness that he gets from his own mother. As far as autism goes, my personal opinion is that nursing is one of the best things you can do for your child. You want to encourage your child to be attached to people (i.e. YOU) and not so much to objects, rituals, behaviors. Nursing gives your child comfort like nothing else can and IMO, this should be supported and encouraged way more than it is in this country.
As for the comfort your son gets when he puts his hand up your shirt, well, what can I say? If we're honest, we all know that boys, especially, love this at all ages. As a child gets older, he understands appropriate and private. My NT son still loves to rest his head on my "nannies." So what? This is completely normal and natural. If it makes you uncomfortable, Joanna, then that is a different issue. You certainly have first dibs on your body's boundaries. And as yuor son gets older, you can certainly teach him appropriate social limits on this. But I encourage you not to feel guilty or that you are encouraging inappropriate attachments. I think that this attachment is normal, and as I said, much more preferable than attachments to objects.
I nursed both my boys well past three. It only sounds weird b/c in this county, it is not so common, but in most of the rest of the world, it is a normal, natural part of life for a mother to keep her little ones close to her breast until they are ready to say bye bye.
Love it NorwayMom - thanks! That will be helpful in my good touch, bad touch program I'm going to start with the kids...