How autism has affected my life... | Autism PDD
Yep. There was a kid melting down behind us, in Taco Bell last night ... and it WAS NOT MINE, for once! And I was certain it was a sensory meltdown ... till it occured to me, she was under one year!
The mom thanks me now for bringing to her attn. but I still feel a twinge of guilt:(
I am worried for my nephew because he has red flags and is a VERY difficult baby in every aspect of the word! Not to mention his father, Im almost positive is an undiagnosed Aspie. He fits the criteria Ive seen/researched perfectly! I want to tell her so badly but were on bad terms right now and theres no way im going to call her and tell her this! This is my husbands sisters son so I ask hubbys mom to save things to show her when she moves down there with them.
Also Me and my husband were just talking about his cousin who isnt a child but a 33 yr old adult and im positive hes autistic! I feel so bad for him! He is constantly talked down to by his father, my hubbys uncle and it really breaks my heart! Hes pushed around and treated like crap and talked about how stupid he is right in front of his face! Something is obviously wrong with him, he seems slow but yet very smart and obsesses over his arrow collections and spends ALL day hunting them down in the arizona desert and scorching heat! Hes always playing with children too and I always thought he was alittle weird in that way (im very paranoid) but it seems he relates to them so much more than adults. His conversations are pretty off the wall sometimes hel go off talking about something we wernt even talking about or on and on and ON about indian artifacts and arrow heards and makes jokes that no one gets! Hes also totally obsessed with meth. He talks about drugs aaaall the time oblivoius to us kinda looking at him like okkkk. He gets high all the time and actually is so excited that hes found some disgusting recipe that includes all sorts of junk online somehow! He takes a while to answer your questions its like hes formulating what hes saying then going over it again before saying it or something, you can see him thinking. His dad is always saying I dont know about him something aint right in the head with him, hes just STUPID! He is a hard worker tho, that boy. ONLY because thier constantly putting him to work for them and for the most part he does enjoy working unless its an actual job to make money! He has one friend that I know of and its some scuzzy guy renting a trailor out from his dad, my hubbys uncle. He has definate ecolalia and is constantly stealing lines from tv shows or movies, or talking about movies all the time. He is prone to fits but then who can blame him somtimes! Hes brocken his toe by smashing it with a hammer accidently (supposedly) in one of his fits. Hes living on his dads land in a trailor and has a hard time holding a job and his dad actualy told us he lived off of prickly pear fruit for awhile cuz he had no food!
Who doesn't love a routine...just makes life easier and more relaxing right?
I just hate that I let simple little words get to me the way they do. Does this ever get easier?
Today I had to watch my cousin's baby daughter...usually her Grandma watches her but on days she can't I fill in...maybe once a week, sometimes less...she is 5 months old...by no means have I ever questioned anything about her progress...she is a happy healthy 5 month old...loves to play peek-a-boo, loves music, just your typical 5 month old.
Today she came and she was a little fussy when Mom brought her in...She came about 15 minutes before I had to walk up and get Mason from school, so we walked outside and put Kaitlin in her stroller. She immediately calmed down and looked so serene just waiting for her walk...I said, "wow she likes her stroller," and her Mom said that this is the time her and Grandma usually go for their walk...she loves her routine.
When I heard those words, "she loves her routine," it just left this pit in my stomach...it literally felt like I was hit with a brick...now like I said there is absolutely nothing that is making me worry about her progress etc.
Certain words just make me cringe...that's how autism has affected my life. Y'know, MOST people love their routines. And I believe routine is what helps kids who don't yet know how to talk know what's coming next. That includes kids who are not yet expected to talk. I wouldn't worry based on just this. A friend of mine whose two boys were very mildly affected told me later that
she would cringe when she would see my son (who was just 1yr old at that
time) stare at the ceiling fans. She told me later that she was praying to
herself for my son to stop. I think it is natural that we look at childrens
development a little differently than others. It shows that we care and we
know a lot of things that may be red flags. Sometimes there is something
there but other times, nothing. I know what you mean too, when Nina was smaller little things would hit me like that, when I would see something everyone thought was cute but I couldn't help seeing a "sign" or someone would say something she did today and it would spark a worry in me. Unfortunately for us turns out I was probably right to worry about baby Nina all along
I totally get what you mean!
In addition to certain phrases, it's seeing signs everywhere.
Earlier this summer I was at the mall and a bunch of mom's were chatting nearby (I was alone) and the kids were all playing on the play structure, except for one little boy. This little boy, around two, was lining up all of his cars in a long line and arranging them by color, ignoring everything around him. I heard his mom bragging to the others:, "Isn't it amazing how smart he is that he can line all the cars up by color, he does that all day. He has such great concentration that he doesn't even here me call his name. I'm so impressed by his attention span."
I felt this sinking pit in my stomach, but what was I supposed to do, barge into their conversation and say "excuse me, your son is demonstrating a bunch of red flags for autism and you should get him evaluated through EI as soon as possible?" I know it would not have been appropriate, nor welcome, but I still feel bad about not saying anything....
You see signs and a lot of times I have to say something. Once myhusband was talking to a friend in another state. The friend was worried
that his youngest son had only couple of words at two years old. And
then the friend added that when his son was excited he would flap his
hands for 10 minutes or so. We basically gently had to prod the Dad to
start getting speech and an eval. We at that time shared everything we
did for our son and how it has helped him tremondously. Still even with
our prodding, denial is strong thing. It took them another year for them
to accept that their son had autism.
I know that early intervention has saved my son. I know how hard it is
to get interventions. Many times you have to fight for it. In the beginning,
it was other Moms, who helped me out, and showed me the way. The day
that I got the dx, one friend gave me about 6 numbers to call that day
and told me what to say. I was lucky that information was available
because it allowed me to get an ABA program within 1 month of my sons
dx. Even now, I rely on information from other experienced Moms. I
think, we as Moms do not want others to go through what we went
through.
I think Emerald it just shows that you care and that you are watching out
for other children who may be at risk.
I wonder about that, too. I was talking to my SIL yesterday about someone we know who has an eight month old little boy.
Doesn't hold his own bottle, isn't crawling, Mom carries him all the time, or he fusses. All my alarms started going off, and I was practically interrogating my SIL about him. (She's babysat him quite a lot recently)
I have to laugh at myself, or I'd start to cry, I think. :(
[QUOTE=Evie]I have to laugh at myself, or I'd start to cry, I think. :(
[/QUOTE]
YES!!!!!
I think a lot of it comes from realizing that autism is a spectrum and hearing all those people say things like, well he doesn't seem like he has autism to me...so all those little red flags just ring in my head.
I don't want to be one of those parents that says OMG get her evalutated, she likes schedules.
But now I feel like I'm going to be watching every little thing she does...I don't want to feel like this or do this...so I giggle and try to laugh it off.
UGH, I hope this doesn't always happen...I have a baby nephew and I'm already worried about how I'm going to be "evaluating" every milestone with him...there are "red flags" in everyone if you look hard enough, it's just knowing when you are being over protective and when you should intervene...wow am I lucky that I didn't know about Mason until my dd was a little older...I would have drove dh nuts otherwise!
I know what you mean. :) I feel like I'm jumping at shadows sometimes, but I would really hate for someone to make the same mistakes I did, and blow things off.
Lots of doctors out there willing to do that for us, I think!
My best friends husband actually said to me....."could one of your kids please get something else that my wife can focus on because I'm really tired of her diagnosing everyone we see with aspergers!"
OMG!! I see signs everywhere now lol. I thought it was just me. I see a kid flapping his hands in wal mart, or one who's staring at the ceiling in wal mart with that "look" in his eyes. I want to go up and say something, but I don't want to be punched out by someone who's in denial. My cousin has a son who, to me, appears to be an "aspie". She won't even have him evaluated. I've tried talking to her, to her mother, her sisters. No one can get through to her. I just feel so bad for the kids in this situation, but what's a person who's "in the know" supposed to do?Yep, I know what you mean. Some things hit me like a brick, too. My
nephew is barely speaking at two--I forwarded some info about speech
delays and got stonewalled.
I watch other people's kids really closely. I can't help but call out the
name of one of my friend's infants to see if she responds. then I feel
TERRIBLE.
One thing I'm trying to figure out is how to talk to parents when I
recognize their kid is on the spectrum. I don't want to shock or offend
anyone who is in denial, or make a wrong a**umption. But sometimes in
our community, I spot someone who I would love to meet, for J's sake.
Closest I came was once at a train table in a toy store, a little boy was
toe-walking, and humming high-pitched sounds as he played. I asked
his father if he had autism. The guy FREAKED. Totally clenched his jaw,
and tried to ignore me. He finally spit out at me, "I don't think you know
me well enough to ask about such a private matter!" he was seething.
I apologized and said I had only asked because my son does too--I
pointed out Jasper for him. And then, on cue, J melted down and i had to
whisk him away to another part of the store. The man was clearly
emabarra**ed he had been so rude, and didn't know what to say...ugh.
I was just trying to find my son a pal.
Bleah. The phrase "he's a little engineer" socks me in the gut. or "he's so
mechanical"
or toddlers who don't make eye contact....... I worry so much for other
people sometimes.
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