Definitely plan breaks. "Tag-team" parent, meaning take turns with your husband keeping a close eye on your son. Bring sensory toys (my son used to love PlayDoh SO much and it used to calm him down to such a degree, it was like drugs!). Bring a video he loves -- or two. If they don't have a DVD player there, now would be a good time to invest in a portable one -- they're not much more than 0 and will be a GREAT investment over time. If there are female cousins about 10 to 12 years old, enlist their help. Girls at this age LOVE to be little mommies. They can definitely keep him distracted. But you know him best. When you see he needs a pre-meltdown break, take him for a short ride in the car or go outside and sit with him. I clearly remember sitting on SO many upstairs stairways taking a break with my son over the years. Fortunately, he eventually learned to tolerate the stimulation of social gatherings. But it took exposure after exposure after exposure. Most of those earlier exposure were not without incident. But they all taught him to be a bit more accepting next time, so all the drama was definitely worth it.I try and let Daniel know about things in advance.See that he has things to do while the adults visit together. Bring him his own snacks also. Educate the family on asd and sensory issues. The social story is a great idea. Where can you find free social stories for our kids?
My grandparent are coming in from hawaii on sunday and were planning on going up to vegas to my dad and step moms house where all our family are comming over for a bbq. The problem is this:
Hayden gets real overstimulated and tactile when we have family gatherings like this. He gets emotional and cries for every little thing, is veeeery irratable, he screams if someone goes to give him a hug or even talk to him or look at him, he stims alot, wants me to hold him, goes off and secludes him self or goes off and puts himself to sleep. I havnt went to a family gathering like this since his dx and im alittle nervous now that I know whats going on with him and not sure what to do. I really want to see my grandparents, I havnt seen them in ages! But at the same time I feel really nervous knowing whats comming. He is on trileptal for seizures but its also a mood stabilizer and altho I havnt noticed any noticable difference from it in the mood catergory maybe itll help him alittle, im not sure tho.
Does anyone have any advice on things I can do to prevent sensory overload or lessen it? Any input would be great! Everyone just looks at my son like hes a oscar the grouch and why is he acting like this? I know theyl be more understanding now that they knows his dx tho but I would like to prevent as much as possible for him!
Thanks! Print this out and give it to them! It's a letter to Grandparents about
asperger's. It's fantastic!
Also, plan some breaks for Hayden during the day. Let him have some quiet
time away form visitors if he is feeling grouchy. Taking him outside for
some exercise should help, too. Good luck!
http://
www.udel.edu/bkirby/asperger/grandparents.html
I have that same problem with my daughter. She is now 12 so it has gotten just a little bit easier, depending on the day. But it is still really hard. In situations like that i find myself completely overwhelmed with trying to keep her under control and happy so I don't feel completely out of place knowing Savannah and I are being judged. Even with my family who know she is PDD-NOS, they have a hard time dealing with her. Especially because since she is 12 they feel like she shouldn't fall into tears and tantrums so easily.
The only thing i have learned is to, depending on the situation, maybe not plan to be there as long as the others because it will be too much for Savannah. Bring things that will interest her, gameboy etc., so that i can keep her occupied for as long as possible. But honestly i still don't really know the answer. It's something we still deal with.
I would say that you should definintly see your grandparents though. Maybe just explain what you've learned with his dx and maybe that will help others deal a little easier.
Sorry i don't have any better answers!
My son is the same way. I have to say that he's getting more tolerant as he gets older. If everyone has an understanding of his dx, maybe they will understand that loud sounds, smells, etc, can trigger behaviors in him. When we have houseguests now, we tell them, "oh, Matt gets upset by lots of noise". People are pretty good, and try to accommodate his needs.I would draw pictures for him so he sort of knows what to expect, draw pictures of the family at each step of the vacation. where they might be sleeping, Maybe do a social story about family visits and outings, and how grandmom wants to come see how big you've gotten, tell him how she will have meals with you ect. make it sound really fun. also maybe inform your grandparents of the things they boys may like or dislike as far as noises and other sensory issues. Maybe your son doesn't like the smell of perfume, ask grandma not to bring anything too strong.
And apologize before hand that your son may be as affectionate as they might like, just so they don't feel offended or unwelcome.
good luck.
Hopefully we wont get the raised eyebrows but he can be pretty dramatic! Hopefully I can explain things better and everyone will have a better understanding. Thanks everyone!
This link has an example of a one kind of body sock. They are fairly easy to make. My son actually prefers them to be rectangles (no legs or arms).
http://www.onestopsensoryshop.com/special-needs-products--bo dy-socks-for-sensory-integraion-therapy.html
You have already gotten some great advice, so I will just second the DVD player, the Gameboy, and the special snacks. Sometimes when we go to visit family, my son gets overwhelmed and we just let him go to a bedroom and watch a movie or rest or have a special snack, whatever he needs (sometimes I need a break from the nieces and nephew too). The family does not always understand, but, that’s just the way it goes sometimes.
A few other things I would add. My son likes to go into body socks. They are bags made of spandex and he finds it soothing to be in them. I have made several for him and they are pretty easy to sew. Before we went to body socks, he enjoyed crawling into laundry bags. They aren’t stretchy, but he still liked them. Also, I would say, if you have any self-doubt about your parenting that you leave it at home. If you spend the whole visit worrying about others perceptions of you and your son, you will not enjoy the visit.
I hope you are right that they will be more understanding since he has a diagnosis, but, don’t get your hopes up too high about that. He is still the same boy, and you are still the same mom. Those who had problems with his issues before may still have problems with his issues now – regardless of the label. Sorry to have to tell you that, but it has been my experience.
Thanks Saka, I checked the sight out they have cute blankets there!
Tzoya your right its so different with an asd child I wish people understood more! But ill definately be giving an update on how things go tomorrow, hopefully as smooth as can be expected anyway! Weve kind of talked over what to expect but I still need to have him rehearse what his responses will be to everyone, i usually always prep him for lots of different scenarios in general because he dosnt know how to repond to things alot (i wonder who my son takes after? I'm sorry that your dh and ds are not feeli9ng well.
I still get stressed over family get togethers even though Quinn is 10. I don't think people understand unless they are going through it. I have actually skipped some family get togethers on purpose because I feel like I am being graded by how Q acts.
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