Feeling down today - warning, very long! | Autism PDD
WOW, what a week! But you handled everything so great!
Sending you big hugs and lots of wishes for a calmer week, next week!!
Sorry you had such a rough time! Thursday was a bad day around here, too.
Glad to hear he decided to sleep in a little. :)
NorwayMom - I feel your pain and send you a cybercocktail along with a hug! I hope next week goes better for both of us.
Thanks everyone for all the support. Today is Saturday and I'm hoping for a better day. At least ds didn't wake up at 5 a.m. today (he did yesterday - forgot to mention THAT start to the day!).
Sorry to hear you had a rough day. I did too on Friday, actually. It gets to be a long week for our kiddos, especially at the beginning of the school year.
In my case I went to pick up my younger son and found my older son there. He thought school was over for the day, and when I took him back to his classroom after his recess was over, I found out that his regular teacher was sick so there was no one-on-one for him. The sub and I decided it was best just to let him go home 45 minutes early. But then we couldn't find his backpack, and it took 45 minutes for us to track it down in the classroom he ate lunch in, but it wasn't where he had been sitting so we didn't see it the first time we looked.
Cybercocktail, yep, I could have used one of those right after I came home on Friday afternoon and collapsed in the recliner.
Hope next week goes more smoothly.
Well, things had been going smoothly. Repeat HAD been. Wednesday, ds was over at the twins' house and I don't recall why - but for some reason he told the twins' mom she was nasty. He had been close to losing it before then and I had warned him and he settled for a bit - but this was it. I had to practically drag him three houses down to our house while he was hitting and trying to bite me. Thankfully, dh came home as I had just gotten him in so I could go get my dd (who was also there) and apologize to the mom. Oh, I also had ds do this before we left - after I chased him around the house because I had told him he needed a time-out for saying that.
Well, he had a rough day yesterday and came home saying that the ASD teacher was the "worst teacher ever". I couldn't figure out what the problem was, until finally he was able to tell me that she stopped taking him to her room right after lunch. She and I had decided to do that because he was missing social studies/science. Here's his schedule: he has lunch, then lavatory, then social studies or science (depending on the day), then rest time. What she had been doing was taking him to her room right after lunch so he could finish his lunch and then have rest time in her room. Neither of us realized (until I did last week) that he was missing social studies/science. So this week, she explained to him that he would take his lunch with him to his cubby after lunch, then he would have ss/s and then her para would come get him right before rest time (btw, he HATES rest time) so he could come finish his lunch.
So, he does not want to be there for soc studies/science. His anxiety level is WAY up. So, today we decided that he would just miss those subjects for now - at least until Thanksgiving break so that he could adjust. All-day kindergarten is a huge adjustment. My concern is that they will be doing group projects and he will miss out on that (obviously, I want him to learn how to work in a group) and I feel that social studies is important as his huge deficits are SOCIAL. But, I think he needs this break for now.
THEN, I go to pick up my dd from pre-school and the teacher pulls me aside. She tells me that dd had a rough day to start, but finished fine. When I left, I could tell she was being defiant, but I figured she would be fine after I left. Well, she wasn't. She wouldn't sit at circle time and wouldn't listen to the teacher. In fact, she hit the teacher a few times and was very defiant. YIKES! She didn't want to go outside, but the teacher said that she had to - but she could sit on the bench with the teacher or go and play with the kids. Dd chose to sit on the bench at first, but then asked if she could go play and then did. After that, apparently she sat well for the second circle time and did fine. The teacher thinks she just isn't used to listening to other adults and it was a power struggle. Which may be, but she did fine last year in her one-day a week pre-school tumbling camp.
I also had to apologize to her as I got a little snippy with her (the teacher this morning). I explained that we had had a rough morning with ds and that I was frustrated with myself as I hadn't kept track of some paperwork I needed to fill out for my daughter - field trip stuff and it was due today!
So when the ASD teacher called this afternoon, we were talking and she said that she had talked to the "specials" teachers (PE, music, media, etc.) about all of her kids on her caseload to make them aware of who had autism in each of their classes. I asked her to please give me SOME good news today and to tell me that at least a few of them were surprised that ds has autism. She said all but one were - the media teacher said that she had noticed ds sitting more by himself and that he had insisted on wearing his hood up one day. That teacher must have some experience with autism if those are the only two signs she noticed! So, anyway, my entire day has been spent dealing with teachers, trying to set up a meeting for ds, talking to the ASD teacher about getting an OT re-eval for ds since he didn't qualify in the previous school district (she thinks he WILL qualify here - hurray!), talking to the pre-school teacher, calling my dh several times to update him and ask his advice - I'm beat!
So, I came on here to vent. Sorry for the long rant - but I really needed to get this all off my chest. Today, is day 4 for ds - and so it is an off day anyway. They technically don't have rest time - but they have "look at books" time. The ASD teacher can't take him at that time, so he will have to deal with that - and I'm really, really hoping that goes okay. I hope I'm not in for it when he gets off the bus.
Last night, I was trying to get him to do homework after his half-hour of "doing whatever you want after school" time. He looked at me and said in a half-crying voice - "Mom, I work at school ALL day long. Why do I have to come home and work?" At this point, I said - you're right. This can wait until after dinner - you go do whatever you want until then. You've had a rough day - but normally, we will do homework a half an hour after you get home. This is a special break for you. He had homework that was due today - but it was actually kind of fun. Making a mask and writing the letter "m" in foam soap (which he and his sister had a ball doing and went WAY over the 10 minutes I usually have him do homework for!). I pointed out that homework CAN be fun sometimes!
Well, that is my novel for today. I feel a little better now - thanks guys!
Yowza.
Sometimes poor eye contact is part of defiance, too. Or just auditory processing disorder ... or maybe ADHD. I am finding out, there are LOTS of other causes ...
BUT. Sounds liek a rough day all around I have had a few of those myself. DS is being defiant at daycare these days, after 4 week "honeymoon" with his new teacher. And in a BIG way. UGH.
Let us both toast to better days!
This may be something you have already done, but it is working wonders forus. I make him a schedule of what he is going to do every day. Just a basic
list (he can read) and HE LOVES IT. We don't do it everyday, but it really
helps when he has a babysitter, or is going through some schedule changes.
He just really likes his list! And crossing things off when he is done.Oh I forgot to send you a
and a xanax.Anyone remember the post where we were sending each other "cyber cocktails"? Today, I would like something with Everclear please!
Thanks for the support foxl. I don't think my dd has ASD. She is WAY too empathetic (usually) and she is capable of processing 4 and 5 step directions (I can't do that most days!) at 3 years old. She CAN sit at circle time and did all last year. Today, she just simply wouldn't. I think it's partly separation anxiety and also I think some of ds' stress is rubbing off on all of us. And, guess what part of the month it is? Yup. The week before my period (sorry, guys!). But, I've posted this before and I swear - it is to the day.
Please give me strength to get through this next week!
Oh, yeah ... I oughtta keep a calendar, just for SAM'S behavior and MY cycle!He does have a visual schedule - but now that we are changing it again, the teacher has to print out a new one and get it laminated, which takes a few days...
Thanks for the hugs and drugs! Oh boy, I can relate. Sending you a double Everclear, while I dream of a
jumbo margarita on the socks with salt!
Everyone gets a rough day here and there. Hope you and your ds are feeling better now. Sending you double cyberEverclear.
Concernedpa.
Wow between the Xanax and the shots of double Everclear - I'm amazed I can even type!
I had a long talk with ds about friends and we read the book about How to Make Friends by Marc Brown (who does the Arthur series on PBS). We hadn't read it before, but I told him about it and he said he wanted to read it. He did say it was a long book, but "pretty good". I think we're going to be reading this a lot in the next few weeks. The ASD teacher is going to pull some books to read to him for next week as well.
Dd got read "Hands are not for hitting" and "No Biting" (which has a page on hitting as well) for bedtime. We talked about how we don't hit anyone, but particularly not your teacher!
Ds has decided that he wants the twins back as friends. I warned him that sometimes it is too late - but I am sure that at least one of the twins wants him back as a friend. He didn't think that either of them did, but I assured him that I knew at least one did (he told me so and asked why ds didn't want to be his friend - followed up by asking if our family could go along with them to the Mall of America!
We also talked about the ASD teacher and how she does so many nice things for him. He decided that maybe he hadn't been fair to her - but he still wasn't sure. We'll be talking about THAT most of the weekend as well.
To top it all off, Sunday is his first Faith Formation class and I am the assistant teacher. It sounded like a good idea at the time. Now, I'm not so sure. This may end up being the worst weekend yet! But, I will have to spend time prepping him (again, ALL WEEKEND) for this so that he isn't disruptive in class. He is never disruptive in kindergarten (well, except for in the ASD room) but because I'm there - he might be.
I'll let you all know if I need more Everclear on Sunday night - although that might be sacreligious, I'm not sure. Oh heck, it's the Catholic Church and we drink WINE at our Masses!
Thanks for all the support everyone - I think I'm doing better. Keeping my fingers crossed and very glad the kids are in bed!
Its Friday and I am wishing you a fresh strawberry mojito. I had one lastmonth and I am craving another one. Hope next week will be smoother.
Copyright Autism-PDD.net