Where are you kerijsmith (ie what country)?mmmmm think i need to move to the u.s. sounds like you get much more help there
Just checked your profile and can see you're in the UK. First of all the Health Visitor should not be making flippant comments about placing your son in foster care. Foster care is only done as a last resort when all other avenues have been exhausted and unless there is very clear evidence of abuse or neglect Social Services will do whatever they can to keep children with their parents.
May I ask if you were seen by a disability social worker, since these will be more able to offer you support and advice. It is rubbish about not being able to get a diagnosis until school age. What they might have meant is that they will wait until school age before confirming where on the spectrum your child is, but they should be able to give you some idea of if he's on the spectrum at least before then.
Ask about portage and about the Sure Start schemes in your areas (Sure Start is for all children but they will hopefully be able to point you in the direction of what services to push for).
Aha, it sounds as though she was talking about respite care, which is an entirely different kettle of fish. Respite care is usually just for a few hours or for overnight.
The fact that he's in a special school at least means that they have recognised he has difficulties and hopefully his education will be tailoreed towards his style of learning.
i think my hv was trying to offer me time out with foster care as she has seen for herself his behaviour is constantly challenging but i dont feel it would be helpful in the long run i have been told i will be seeing a social worker at some point but when i do not know. A few of the parents that i have met while taking my son to the special needs school feel the same as me like every way we turn we are hit by this brick wall one mother i talk to quite often has been attending one hour a week there for two years and is still no further now than she was when she first started going!! I am attending an appointment today about my sons development and i will ask about portage and sure start. thank you
I've never heard anything like this in my life, I'm sorry for what your going through. what state are you in?? there are laws in place stating a child has the right to an evaluation if parent, teacher or doctor feels its necessary. There are also laws ( not sure if they are state or fed) but in my county they have 60 days from the date of my request to evaluate my child. This usually happens much quicker than 60 days ( where i live anyway). Diagnosis, reports re. evaluation and iep meetings (in my county) usually come within 2-3 weeks of evaluation.
Check into the early intervention program in your county. and most importantly stay calm and come here for questions and support. there are many well informed parents on this forum.
http://www.nas.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=617&a=8845
Good luck with everything.