Hi, this is my first time on this board so I apologize if this has been covered before.
I have 3 children all of whom are on the spectrum of autism with my oldest son Jason (who is 7) with the strongest symptoms. I know I am extremely lucky as his autism is very mild compared to many other children - and he has been in OT for about 4 years now and has made major strides. We have been through a lot but not nearly as much as some of you.
Jason used to do the facial distorting and hand flapping when he would get excited - excited about anything such as a TV show or a kite flying or anything. One could just see that it was as though the excitement was like a bolt of electricity going through his body. He has somewhat learned to control this and now maybe will just itch the back of his head when excited about most things or jump around.
My question is that he loves to play video games and while we limit how much he can play, this is the time where the facial distortions and wild hand flapping come back. I do not know what to say to him when I see him doing this. Part of me wants to tell him that he can not play video games anymore since this is what brings these things back full force. However, I feel like I am punishing him for something he can not control and he loves to play them. I usually just tell him to please keep his hands down or something and he says "sorry" (which breaks my heart) or "I'm just excited Daddy" or "I won't do it again" - but he does it over and over and over.
Obviously the repetitiveness of the games cause this but he loves to play them so I'm not sure what is the right thing to do. He is too old now for OT (except very short sessions at his school) and since he is "highly functioning" autistic we do not get much help. I just don't know how to deal with this and want to be a good dad and not punish him but seeing him do it brings back all the memories of what it was like a few years ago. Is this something he will grow out of? Should I cut off the video games? Should I just leave him alone?
I'm hoping others have gone through this and have any kind of advice for me. There are of course other issues we deal with on a daily basis but this is the one that I just don't know how to deal with.
Thanks Norway Mom for your words of encouragement and sites to visit. I am learning alot, more from these boards than any place else.
In the Virgin Islands, we are very limited as to our resources and services. Mateo was diagnosed with mild cerebral palsy, a mild hearing loss in the left ear and a hemivertibrae in the T5-T7 when he was 3 months old. He has mild muscle weakness o nthe right side which is now showing up in his ability to apply pressure to any writing instruments. I wish that I could stay home and work with him, but coming from a single mother home, I am the sole financial and everything else support.
Here we do not have any OT's, no services for kid with autism, and no educational choices other than the public schools special education programs where they put all special needs students in the same class.
I have been seriously considering moving to the US to get the services that he needs, but I am at a loss as to where to go. I was looking at the TEACCH Program in North Carolina and moving to the Raleigh/Durham area, but then I read a posting from a parent who was moving from NC because the services there aren't the best. I am at a lost as to what to do whether to stay here or to try and move to the states, and if so, what state?
We are going to get a second opinion next month froma pedi neurologist. So, we shall see.
Hello, I'm brand new to the forum but I thought I'd put a plug in for Minnesota. The weather is just a little different
Joanna
mother to David, age 5
Not in this home at all.smsaunders --
Would like to wish you welcome to the forum, too. I see your son got his diagnosis one short week ago. My son got his diagnosis 2 years ago. The first year was pretty tough, but things got better quick when I started figuring out my son's sensory issues and needs.
The high-pitched noises and bouncing on the furniture are what we call "stims" (self-stimulatory behavior). They're his way of coping with overstimulation. I see it as finding balance. After spending time at the computer, with so much visual and auditory stimulation, he needs to balance that out with some motion. It's more appropriate to go ride his bike and swing on the swingset than to bounce all over the furniture, and luckily I have no problem getting him to go outside.
Here's an article about stims (with a chart which gives examples associated with the various senses).
http://www.tsbvi.edu/Outreach/seehear/archive/mannerism.html #Chart
And here's a checklist to help identify sensory issues. I don't know how it is in the Virgin Islands, but here in Norway, we don't really have occupational therapists to help us with sensory issues, so we have to figure things out ourselves.
http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/sensory-processin g-disorder-checklist.html
Good luck with everything.
Thank you all for the replies and suggestions - they are much appreciated.
What about making your son take a 5-10 minute break every 30-45 minutes. I play video games myself and the new technology is so advanced all the graphics and fast pictures makes my brain go into overload sometime. They now have warnings on the games for people with heart conditions. I think your sons brain is getting overly stimulated from all of the graphics and it makes it to hard for him to control what he is doing.
In ds's case, we found out that more than 1/2 hr of playing any fast-paced video game either on the computer or PS2 will make him over-stimulated and he gets very hyper and distracted, starts using alot of jargon and tears through the house like a tornedo. So we limit his video-gaming to 1/2 hr.Once the timer goes off, we find a calming activity for him...usually something dealing with water which really calms him down.
We found out evenings worked really well for us.So he gets 1/2 hr of gaming time then straight to the bath.It was hard at first cause we used to let him play for 2 hours or more before.But eventually he fell into the routine.
Good luck !!
Welcome to the forum!
My son with autism is 9. He gets overstimulated when playing computer games, if he plays too long. He ends up walking away from the computer and making high-pitched noises and hopping all over the furniture. I send him outside for more appropriate sensory input.
Gaming is a socially acceptable hobby and can be a bridge to interaction with peers, so I wouldn't cut it out completely, but you can certainly set some more limits (use gaming as a special reward, limit it to weekends, eliminate games that are extra stimulating, etc.)
That said, if you think he's feeling a little ashamed over his reactions, I'd tread carefully. This is not really in his control, and paying attention to the grimaces and hand-flapping seems to remind you both that he's a little different from other children in some respects.
Good luck with everything. I'll be interested in hearing more about your life with 3 older children on the spectrum.
I am just learning so much. My 4 year old can spend 5 hours on the computer having me help him with various computer games, sduch as painting and finding objects and listening to his numbers and letters. He just got diagnosed last week at ASD PDD-NOS and I am getting a second opinion next month, but alot of the signs are there.
I'd like to learn more about what stimulates and calms the incidents of hig-pitch noices and bouncing ont he furniture.
Mateo started doing the hand-flapping recently, but has always done the noises and facial distortions which were some of my inital cues to something being different with him. But, he is also very smart, sharp and in tune with others feelings. He loves rough-housing with his 17 year old sister and can stand his ground with her and always goes back for more.
His main vice is cartoons and he has a definite opinion of what he likes watching. He is also very much into his cats and dogs and they are an important part of his day.
I am learning so much from all of you.
Too funny Holly - that is exactly Jason. It's Lego Star Wars all the time. He has finished both the games but just starts over. At least there is no blood or anything and it is a fun game.
I'm just worried that the flapping will carry over into public. Like your Jacob, at least when he's with me in public, he hardly ever "stim's" as you call it or it is minor. Maybe I'm just being too worried and protective about him. I just don't want the other kids to have any more ammunition to make his life hard.
We have xbox. That is my son's life!! He will only play star wars games. When he's by himself---Lego star wars game. When with someone else--Star Wars Battlefront 2.
He would play for hours and hours. Like---8 hours??
We have him take breaks and play outside or with his Legos.
He is a "jumper". He jumps in place the entire time playing. We just yell--"Sit down Jacob!!". He has wore a place in the carpet down even. If he watches someone play---he flaps. We don't do anything to make him stop. I figure it's a way for him to relieve stress after the long day at school!
He never stim's in public. Maybe the un-noticeable ones---finger twisting, nail picking, etc. I think my older dd told me one day at school last year when the "Lizard Man" came he was anxious and excited and was arm/hand flapping.
Hi all!
I was going to post on this topic but for different reasons. I'm a big kid, so I have the big kid games, but was surprised at the lack of "educational" games available. I would spend lots on any game for the XBox or 360 that had any "value" added while they played. Thought I'd ask for your suggestions.
"Cars" is age appropriate and not too bad. No education but neat to drive the car around and familiar.
Any others?
Best regards,
Mark
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U2CBktcIeUk
My son gets very loud and screams and bashes the desk when he plays computer games(and they are educational games) even when he is just mucking around trying out different things on the computer. We are constantly warning him to stop, have a card printed with a story about playing quietly on the computer or it gets turned off. nothing works. I think I am going to disconnect it and just let him play 1/2 hour intervals too- I never thought of the overstimulation factor before, that it might be completely beyond his control. With hand flapping - I never draw attention to it, my 6 year old daughter does this a lot when she is excited-I just accept that as part of who she is. LizI had to laugh while reading this because I read in this post many other parents that the Star Wars Lego games are top dog. It is the same at my house. My son loves to play video games, especially lego ones. I have noticed that he too will stand and be constantly moving while he plays them. Though he was just Dx PPD last week, so I didn't really put 2 and 2 together y he was constanly in motion while playing.
While I do use video game to as a reward for good behavior, and try to do so sparingly, I notice when video game time is over, the transition to any other activity is horrible, tantrums, throwing himself down, ect,even when the transition to another activity is one he usually loves like art.
I would also like to add it does bridge a gap for him with his peers, he is the "master" video gamer, and if any kids he is friends with need help on a game, my son is who they turn to, he is even starting to beat his dad when they play together.
I'll put in a plug for Minnesota as well - but whatever you do - DON'T move to Rochester! We just moved FROM there and the services are just awful - especially compared to what we have now. We live closer to the Twin Cities. But, no matter where you might move, things vary from school district to district. We have AWESOME services in our town - and in the next town over, they are awful. So, do your research!
Also, why is your ds too old for OT at age 7? That doesn't make sense to me. We are looking into private OT for my 6 year-old. If a child has fine-motor issues, they should be receiving OT, no matter what there age!