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DSMom1101,

Sounds like you have a terrific little 3-year old.  I'm curious too why your ST thinks he is on the spectrum.  As for doing odd things from time to time, I think we all do that.    I wish I could get my sons to eat everything under the sun.  We have a lot of apples and chicken in our house.  My oldest eats other things too, but he always has his apples.

As for your son catching up--sounds like he might just bypass the other kids his age and older.  Keep the faith and know we are here for you. 

Keep us posted.

God Bless.

Hi dsmom1101,

We've all been in the scared, alone, heart-broken place and it's hard.  I'm with the above about why the ST thinks he might be on the spectrum.  Sometimes the dx'g and the labeling would distract me from the work at hand....helping my son be all that he could be.  Regardless of what comes from the evaluations your son clearly has a lot of skills.  Identification and intervention of all kinds of delay issues are improving all the time.  I'm glad you're here and look forward to hearing more about your son.

pat

When we were told my daughter was PDD-NOS, and borderline autistic I didn't know what to think.  I guess I was shocked a lttile. I had my own instinks that something wasn't right w/her though.  Yet, she is very typical and so there is the battle (Is she? Isn't she?)

It is a rollar coaster ride.  One minute you wonder since things are going well if there is anything wrong, the next minute you are dealing with a melt down becasue you are changing their pooppy diaper or taking a toy away that they have been holding all day long.

Anna had just turned 3 when she would lay on the floor crying unable to tell us why. It was awful.  Looking back I wonder how I ever managed not to loose it myself. 

You can spend hours, days learning the language of autism. All the terms, the treatments the stories of others. But the things I found that worked best for me and my daugther is applying simple rules for us. And adapting to a lifestyle of constant teaching/learning.  Some tips for teaching language that worked for us were; (you probably already know this stuff)

label, label, label.  (example: walking through the park as we step on the grass "grass, grass" and then "swing, Anna swing?" "Yes, Anna swing." Mommy swing? Yes, mommy swing". 

Parallel talkiing. ..when Anna played I would narrate her play for her. I would tell her what she was doing. If she was getting a ball out, I  would say "Anna has a ball."

Signing!!!! That saved us both.  Singingtime videos worked for us. She and I learned to sign "I want juice" or "milk" or 'water".  SIgning made it easier to simplify the sentence. It also gave her a visual ladder to a sentence.  Seeing the words made it all come together for her.

I have always read to her but last year I made it a ritual (like brushing our teeth) to read every morning.

Anna is almost 4 and still isn't potty trained but her speech has come a long way. Ofcourse she isn't talking like a typical child but I have learned to celibrate what I have now and stop comparing her to the 'typical' child.

I hope this has helped some. I think the challange for parents w/kids who aren't severe autism or considered "normal" (what ever that is) is to be able to see past all the goop and get to the heart of the problem specific to your child. Because you never quite fit into either place.  And really, no matter what label we give our kids it will never describe them or define them. If I could some up w/one word what Anna is like I would give her the label "awsome".  Can that be a label? (:

Dsmom,

 I also agree with Michelle about the st and why she thinks he is on the spectrum. I know my son wasn't dx'd until right before he turned 5 and he couldn't do alot of what your son does. He is dx'd autistic and looses his mind if we even mention Chuckee Cheese we tried to take him there and it was a big disaster!!! Too much going on and too much noise not to mention he is afraid of any person dressed in a costume LOL.  The best advice is follow your gut and do what you think is best. It won't hurt to get him evaluated even if it is just to rule it out. Hope this helps.

                                                Nita

Nita,

"he will never catch up even though he is
gaining ground."

I will never understand people like this. When our son was one week past his 2nd birthday our son's S.T. told us to "never expect him to talk or communicate in any way. And he(our son) does not love you. He just sees you as a tool to meet his needs."

I was in shock that those words came out of her mouth... We were devisted enough by a recent diagnosis of mild - moderate Autism. I did report her but nothing happened to her. "We were just parents going through a diffucult time and looking to blame someone." WHATEVER!!!

A year later.... His vocab is about 100 words. He signs. HE LOVES US! and unless you know him, people can't tell the difference between him and a normal child.

Doctors and Therapist don't have all the answers. More then that... They cannot predict the future.

They had us so stressed out because he couldn't kick a ball, hold a pencile the way they wanted him to, completely dress himself. We drove ourselves insane trying to make him learn how to do all these things at once. It just got to be to much for all three of us. We stopped worrying about, could he kick a ball and instead rolled it back and forth. We figured since he was late crawling, walking and sitting up he would kick a ball when he was ready. AND HE DID!

Once we took the stress off of ourselves and our son, our marrige was stronger, Paul Jr. was happier and the days where easier to deal with. it's been a year and there are moments when I still worry.... Is he going to be able to drive a car, go to college, get married, ect. There are times when I still cry, but it does get easier and there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Don't get me wrong, some days that light is brighter then others but we get through it.

Just know that it doesn't matter if your son just has a delay or if he is ASD we are here for you. MANY HUGS!!!

I do have to agree that "AWSOME" is a great lable!!!

~Brooke~

Cookiecookie338585.4586921296

Thank You all soooooooooo much,

Being a new mother to a  7 week old and a full time student I find myself grasping at straws at the easiest times. Even though he is in EI his ST seems to think a more structured enviroment is the way to go. For instance today his dad took him to the grocery store and he pointed and named things like juice,candy,ball,meat etc. I know I am at the same crossroads I was when family told me I was too smart and young to get married and have him. I promised he would be the man that I needed growing up without a father<but a great mom>. I find myself asking will he play football like his daddy, how come he likes playing peek a boo with his little sister, why does he look at  me when he is going to do something wrong and hand it over right away when I catch him, all the kisses and hugs for no reason, and why can't this woman see how wonderful he is to take to the store and restaurant, why can he wave bye bye . I have many sleepless nites lately considering I have class at 3:30 today. But I also think I need the distraction of analyzing his every move to stop. I sometimes feel alone considering we have no family in Ga. I am young and have the life I always dreamed of yet, the possibilty of my something being wrong with my little man terrifies me. I really appreciate all the wonderful advice and hope to get to know you all very well. One question he has started to use to word "me"and mine alot and he discovered his penis. lol is that typical with autistic children.

Hello all,
I am the mother to a soon to be 3 y/o boy with language delays and
suspected to be on the spectrum. I am in the process of getting him
evaluated. I don't mean to bother those parents who have been where
I am (feeling down some days at the impending diagnosis of knowing
what I already feel in my heart). My question is this : My husband
was a late talker and had comprehension problems all the way through
school in which he had to be in "special ed" classes. Our son loves
going out family vacations, eats everything under the sun besides
banana cream and yogurt(but loves pudding) . Yesterday we took him
to Chucky Cheese which I thought would be the ultimate test. He
LOVED it. He even followed one kid around in the big play maze
thingy. He doesnt mind being touched by strangers, doesnt mind
sleeping at different places( I was in the hospital 6 weeks ago
having my daughter and he was fine even slept at his sitters house
with no tears) I have these ideas in my mind because of his
therapist. In his initial meeting with his speech therapist she
thought he was sweet and engaged then she started asking us about
his eating habits etc etc. He knows that peepee means the he is to
sit on the potty and go. Sorry to be blabbing so much but I feel
soooo very alone. I have so much hope for him yet I am so afraid  He
loves the outside world but his speech therapist has come some of
her own conclusions even though I have asked his teachers at daycare
how he plays (very well and even calls some kids by their names). 
She has all of sudden started pushing all day in the school system.
His favorite words right now are NO and the dreaded mine. I know BCW
is supposed to help me but even though I know he needs help and that
is why we have gotten him help and he has met all his goals his
speech therapist told me "he will never catch up even though he is
gaining ground. I found it shocking that she has so much
inconsistency in saying he is overstimulated by the kids one week
and then they come running in to join the group in which he is
mimicing all the words they say while teaching him. I have made my
self sick losing sleep trying to distingush what is true pretend
play <riding his stuffed simba like a house , pretending to read a
book, pretending eat food off the pages then drawing us in by
feeding it to us> . I am sorry this is so long but my heart is
breaking he does little odd things from time to time but is loving
and fun. I guess I didnt have a question but needed to vent and not
feel so alone.
Thank You



welcome! do not feel alone. we are all in the same boat here, no judging no badgering. feel free to question or vent. this is a fantastic board with great people,  willing to help or just listen.

hope i can be of help. i have a 4 y.o.hfa/adhd. he just started pre k, dd/ se. he loves it and is learning really well! 

feel free to ask anything, we are here to help each other,

kate

 

Hi dsmom1101,  Has your son's ST mentioned WHY she thinks he is on the spectrum? So much of what you mentioned sounds like typical developments to me. But, I would think theres no harm in chekcing it out,  Below are some links of typical developments  and also DSM IV criteria for Autism Spectrum Disorders.... maybe it will help put your mind at rest some. Have you checked into Early Intervention in your area to schedule an eval?  Also there are some questionaire type tests you can take online to give you an idea if there is a possibility of an ASD. Nothing is ment to Self Diagnose.

Developmental Milestones
http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/autism/actearly/milestones_3months .html

http://www.eci-lps.org/is_this_typical.html

http://www.health-shed.com/developmental-guidelines.html

http://www.thenewparentsguide.com/baby-development-month-19t o21.htm

DSM IV CRITERIA

Click here to see the DSM-IV criteria.

Click any of the below to see a review of the 5 different PDD's (or ASD's)

1. Childhood autism 
2. Asperger's syndrome 
3. Childhood disintegrative disorder 
4. Rett's disease 
5. PDD NOS or pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified

ONLINE QUESTIONAIRES
The PDD assessment questionnaire

http://pediatrics.about.com/od/autism/l/bl_autism.htm

http://home.isoa.net/%7Enitetrax/cars.htm  (C.A.R.S.)

http://depts.washington.edu/dataproj/chat.html  CHAT checklist

http://www-personal.umich.edu/%7Epdpatel/DSM%20files/ABC_che cklist.pdf  (Autism Behavior Checklist)

http://www.neurotransmitter.net/pddst2.pdf  (Pervasive Developmental Disorders Screening Test -II)

http://www.patientcenters.com/autism/news/diag_tools.html

Characteristics of ASD's
http://www.autism-biomed.org/poster.htm

http://autism.about.com/cs/whatisautism/l/blcharac.htm

http://autism.allinfoabout.com/articles/autism_behaviors.htm

http://www.autismnetwork.org/modules/character/gen_char/

http://www.autismweb.com/signs.htm

Does my child have autism or PDD?

According to the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development's Autism Facts, "a doctor should definitely and immediately evaluate a child for autism if he or she:

Are there other possible symptoms of autism and PDD?

There are a number of things that parents, teachers, and others who care for children can look for to determine if a child needs to be evaluated for autism.  The following “red flags” could be signs that a doctor should evaluate a child for autism or a related communication disorder.

When should a doctor evaluate a child for autism?

Doctors should do a “developmental screening” at every well-baby and well-child visit, through the preschool years. In this screening, the doctor asks questions related to normal development that allow him or her to measure a specific child’s development. These questions are often more specific versions of the "red flags" listed above, such as Does the child cuddle like other children? Or, Does the child direct your attention by holding up objects for you to see? The doctor will also ask if the child has any features that were listed earlier as definite signs for evaluation for autism.

If the doctor finds that a child either has definite signs of autism, or has a high number of red flags, he or she will send the child to a specialist in child development or another type of health care professional, so the child can be tested for autism. The specialist will rule out other disorders and use tests specific to autism. Then he or she will decide whether a formal diagnosis of autism, autism spectrum disorder, or another disorder is appropriate.

When do children usually show signs of autism?

In most cases, the symptoms of autism are measurable by certain screening tools at 18 months of age. However, parents and experts in autism treatment can usually detect symptoms before this time. In general, a formal diagnosis of autism can be made when a child is two, but is usually made when a child is between two and three, when he or she has a noticeable delay in developing language skills. 

Recent studies show that at least 20 percent of children with autism experienced a “regression,” as reported by their parents.  This means that the children had a mostly normal development, but then had a loss of social or communication skills. To date, however, there is little information about this type of regression, such as the age it seems to start, how severe it is, and what, if anything, triggers it. NICHD researchers are looking into a variety of possible causes for both early onset and regressive autism.

What free services are available to a child with autism?

According to U.S. Public Law 105-17: Individuals with Disabilities Act-IDEA (1997), the child’s primary health care provider is required to refer the family to an early intervention service. In addition, children age three and older are entitled by law to a free and appropriate public education. In some states, the law extends these services to all diagnosed children from birth to age three.

These services vary by state, but include special education and related services or treatment programs. If the child is under age three, the family should consult the zero-to-three service system in their community. The local school district can provide services for a family if the child is three or older. In either case, the local school district, the state education agency, and the local or state health departments should provide referrals for the necessary services.

The current service systems in many states are struggling to adjust to the increasing number of children diagnosed with autism. In many cases, however, the existing systems can’t provide the level of care that families of people with autism want for their child, teenager, or adult with autism. There are a number of parents’ organizations, both national and local, that can provide information about education and treatment services and how to get these services for a child.  For a listing of these organizations, go to http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/autism.html, or check the local phone book."

See AutismWeb's EDUCATION page for our review of the best teaching methods and programs for young children with autism.

A ST does not have the ability to dx....IMHO they should not be going out of their scope of practice. They can test and report the findings of the test ( speech delay or receptive delay, etc)and they can give thier opinions to the Dr (if requested). I dont mean that they cant communicate with Parents, but some of the things said in these posts (he doesnt love you) are way out of line, love is a very deep subject. An NT child of that age probably does see us as a tool to get what they want and as the child lives in a loving environment, they come to learn what 'love' means for them. I know that my DS's therapists have always included that my son is a 'loving' child toward me. Well, he will return (when he wants) a kiss, he loves hugs, when he is afraid or tired or ill,he wants lots of love, but do I think my child is an expert on love????????? the child is 4 years old!!!! and he has autism!!!!!and he has expressive and receptive communication delays / disabilities. He is just learning his way around this big ol world. If you give him the choice of say an Elmo video, a cookie, or to be loving toward me- he will take the video or cookie!

THe first thing I would think about is finding another ST. One that gives your son all the support he needs (and his family). One thing my journey has taught me (so far) is that I dont need to spend my time and emotions on guessing games. I spent a year delaying taking my son for a formal and total evaluation...then when I took him, I KNEW what was wrong and what to do about it. I didnt have to listen to a ST or the neighbor, or my Mom or the man who works with my husband or the lady at the Walmart checkout. I had a team that do nothing but assess children with DD,and they told me my child had ASD.

I know your heart is hurting! But also please do know this, no matter if your child is ASD or simply speech delay...he is a wonderful lil guy!!!!He will not change on the day they tell you what bname 'it' has.

Our wonderful OT we had with EI, told me that my son has autism, he is NOT autism, he is Paul and he is a wonderful and terrific lil guy, just as great as he was the day before he was dx....I think that got me to rethink it all and it made it easier on me.

((hugs)) if ya wante em, I know this is rambling, sorry!

(((HUGS))) This is always a stressful moment.  Based on your descriptions, I agree w/ Michelle's response that he sounds awefully normal...but, it certainly doesn't hurt to get it checked out.  Obviously STs can't provide a dx, but that was how we discovered my dd had Autism.  The ST referred us to a local Center fo Autism Related Disabilities Center.  I think you should just continue to do what you are doing - research, research and research.

I also wonder if you should not have your son evaluated by another ST (not for autism) but to determine at what level he is in his speech/language delays.  It bothers me that she is so inconsistent.  Michelle also had a good suggestion to get an evaluation by early intervention.  The services end at 3 yrs, but you may be able to get in an evaluation by a multidisciplinarian team - they evaluate your child in and out and refer you to specialists based on their observations.

Also, if decide, you can enroll your child in the school system when he turns 3.  You can have him placed in a ESE class based on his delay.  My dd does have autism and is in an included class where 80% of the students are typical kids.

Something else to remember is that autism has a broad range of characteristics that affects each child differently.  Many children w/ ASD also have sensory issues which affects how they interact with their environment.  My dd LOVES chuckie cheese because of all the stimulation.  Most people think she is a typical kid if they have not spent anytime w/ her.  They just think she has a language delay.  However, as they spend more time with her they notice she doesn't always respond to her name, gives you a blank look (as if she doesn't quite understand) when asked a question, repeats episodes of Dora the Explorer and does a lot of repetitive movements that aren't always so obvious until you actually watch her for a straigh hour.  I hope that your son is okay, and I hope we can help support you through this dx process.

Hugs.  I hope you find some answers. 

Wow. You and I are in the opposite boat! While your ST is pushing for an eval mine is saying to just wait and see how he does for another yr or so lol. But the same thing goes for your case as mine, that it won't hurt to find out. Either way it's good to know. Then you can stop questioning and worrying and wondering. But from what you say your child seems to be doing quite well. I'm no expert or dr or anything, but much of what you described sounded like normal development to me as well.

As said above by someone, I wish I could get my ds to eat "anything under the sun." Lately it's gotten worse. Today I just called dh on my break ( at work now I work evenings/nights) and he said ds didn't eat anything except 2 crackers out of everything he tried to offer him for dinner. He offered him chicken strips (which is one of the only meats he will ever try), corn, yogurt (normally eats well), and fruit cocktail. Ugh I'm so mad at Walmart! There is only one type of fruit cocktail he will eat and one of the only fruits for that matter, and it's one of their generic ones it's called triple cherry. It does NOT have pineapple which is a big thing. And it was one of the foods I could almost always count on him eating. They were out of it for some reason for a mth! It was terrible. Now that they have it again ds has decided he won't eat it anymore.

Anyhow sorry to go on. I would take some online tests michelle posted and then decide if you feel you'd like to go further w/ an eval. Best of luck to you!

Amber


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