Is this normal for asd kids or what? | Autism PDD
I am literally going crazy here!
Hayden is CONSTANTLY and I mean 24/7 asking me the weirdest questions. Constantly for every little thing! Abnormally and if I dont answer him or answer correctly as to what is satisfactory for him he has a fit!
We were in a drive thru today and he asked why theres a white car in front of us and I told him I dont know and he started hyperventilating and demanding why? I said because thier hungry like us. He yells NO THIER NOT! I have to explain to him that were hungry thats why were here and they are hungry too (other what else am I going to tell him?) He finally accepted it all of a sudden.
Or were watching a movie and he knows whats going to happen or why somethings happening in it but he asks me and I have to tell him precisely whats going on.
OOOOOr this ones the most annoying: He constantly asks Why we do this? Even if were not doing anything at all. Or what someone will say? For every little thing. Im not exxagerating! Is there something I can do to make him stop doing this? Sometimes I can give him an answer but sometimes he asks questions that have no answers at all and then he starts freaking out. I dont understand why hes doing this especially when theres nothing for me to tell him about a question hes asking me about. O ya also hes big on me making up stories and I have to make it up and not read from a book otherwise hell have a meltdown but then when I make it up it has to be about dinosaurs and it has to turn out a certain way that HE wants otherwise hel get mad and not to mention the stories ALWAYS are exactly the same and hes facinated eachtime.
Does anyones kids do this or have done this? It may sound like a stupid thing im complaining about but it truly is annoying and CONSTANT thru out the day! Ive actually lost my temper a few times and told him I DONT KNOOOOW! because hel have a total meltodown for this and ill get even more frustrated!
Wow that thread was awesome, that is exactly what im going thru! Thanks!
ETA: Someone on that thread said thier husband does this with stories and so does her husbands father and a lightbulb was turned on! My hubby does this aaall the time and so does his dad but its in the form of telling the same ole stories or talking about what happened that day literally a million times (and no one cares by that point!)
Just to let you know, Jasper went through this phase too. I thought you'd
like to know, IT'S OVER!!!! (well for most of the time)
It will pass. I was a stickler when I was "done" with his questions. I would
point blank tell him it was time to stop. I would tell him flat out he was
driving me crazy. I would sing very silly songs that said, "I don't know, I
don't know, I don't KNOOOOOOOOOWWWW!!!!!!!" while pretending to
attack him.
Telling him how many more questions he could ask really helped too.
Stop asking him questions as well. The more I phrased things in
statements,the better. It provided a model for him. Sometimes I think
asking endless questions has something to do with pragmatic language
issues--also mixed in with verbal stimming.
good luck!MamaKat - I totally agree. The more I do of statements, the less ds does of questions. We had to consciously start doing more statements. Which is difficult because sometimes getting ds to talk more about something necessitated questions. But, I try to re-phrase in a statement format somehow and also I try to do more "thinking out loud" to model more statements. Like, "Hmm, I think I should go make dinner now. Otherwise, we'll be eating too late. I'll probably do smothered chicken with green beans and biscuits." That usually elicits a comment if ds is paying attention. Thus, a conversation is started...
Hey Katherine
I think Ill try the I dont know song lol That really does sound like it will work especially because he loves singing/music.
I think it is verbal stimming as well, partly anyway especially because I realized his dad and gpa do it too. Which hopefully dosnt mean my son is cursed to be like this his whole life
ETA: Ive tried the thinking out loud but he gets so pissed off and I feel bad. I know I havnt tried alot as diligently as I should because it makes me feel really bad for him when he gets upset/crying.
My dd is the same way...so many questions that almost seem like nonsense. I hate to put it that way.
I have lost my temper too. I always feel bad about it when all is calm but in the heat of the moment, it does get to me. It is usually a repetitive question...like "Mom, who in a story has really, really long hair? Its Repunzel!" I hear this so much, several times a day sometimes. I can go on and on:)
I think I started noticing the constant questioning around 4yrs and she is still going strong. She turned 5 in July. She is going through her "why" phase now but its not a typical why stage. She will ask the questions like "why is that car red" not really in depth questions like why is the sky blue...etc.
Along with repetitive questions, she is also starting EVERY sentence with..."you know what Mom... Its annoying when you hear it every few seconds but I am going to see if its just a phase before I start saying anything.
Shelley you're so smart!!
My ds loves talking about anything to the point of annoyance at times and will ask questions that he knows the answer to already or just asked yesterday...it is like he is stimming on our conversations..........we've have to put limits on it like Shelley recommended.........answers once and then redirect or ignore.....moving on to a physical activity usually works well for him....it is important so that they know the "rules" of conversations otherwise they will do this with their peers too
Good luck!!
We went through this and I VERY much empathize. When ds is stressed, he will do this more freqently. So, I think it is something he does to calm himself down and hearing the same thing over and over seems to calm him. Or maybe just making sure the world is the same way it was yesterday - because with our kids, that may not always be the case. Because they don't always pay attention to the right cues, they misinterpret things and then generalize what they have misinterpreted to the next situation. So, the world seems to change daily for them because they can't make good sense of it. So, I think it is calming to hear that SOME things haven't changed. That is how I interpret ds' questioning at least.
One strategy I use is to ALWAYS ask the question back to him. I tried this one time when he was 3 and I was just about going out of my mind. I was totally floored when he answered back and knew exactly what the answer was! So, now I do that all the time. It has taken a long time, but now if he asks a question I know he knows the answer to - I ask it back to him. If it is something like "Mom, do you like tornadoes?" which I have literally heard at least a thousand times - I will say to him that I am not answering that question because he knows the answer. Then he will say, "No? You don't like tornadoes?" and I will respond and ask him what he thinks. He usually will then say it is a statement, "No. You don't like tornadoes." and I will agree. But, I try to realize that this is a sign that something is bothering him and that we need to do something - go for a swim (this summer at least), jump on the trampoline, or do something to release his stress. Also, it is occasionally a sign he needs more one-on-one attention from me - so I try one or both and see what works.
Hope this helps! It has gotten a LOT better in the last year. The other thing I noticed is that shortly after we started giving him fish oil that his perseverations and questions diminished significantly, unless he is under a lot of stress.
Yes, normal for ASD (verbal kids anyway) I have heard many parents say it is soooo frustrating. I hope sharlet is able to ask question one day, but I know I could get to a point where I wish she couldn't
.
Neither of my kids went through a questioning phase. Keep thinking positive, that asking questions is communication and a sign of great things to come.
That said, you need to develop a coping strategy for your own sanity. You might get some tips from this GREAT topic on our forum, about repetitive questioning. Even if the repetitiveness isn't the core issue for you, this topic explains how questions can be an awkward attempt at initiating or sustaining conversation, which might be the case for your son.
http://www.autism-pdd.net/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=12693&am p;KW=grape+tomato
I might add that if your son asks a lot of why questions, but not many who-what-when-where-which questions, it might be a matter of him using the wrong word for the question he's asking. For example, the "why" question about the red car might have been a "where" question in his mind and he got frustrated because you didn't answer with the information he was looking for.
Just a guess. Good luck with everything.
Thanks everyone for all your advice and lots of good ideas Im definately going to try!
Ive tried asking him what does he think Im going to say and he just freaks out until I tell hiim, for some reason he needs to hear it from me! Also he does this even when no ones theres to answer him and he asks himself questions and answers them too. They are very repetitive as well.
I hope I didnt offend anyone in to thinking Im complaining about my son having speech, I was just saying its pretty annoying sometimes when he does these certain things, altho Im veeery thankful he can talk.
Thanks again everyone, Im going to try it all to see if it works with him and ill check the link out you gave norwaymom. Thanks so much!
Everything I have done with my ds is hard at first. Well, not everything - but most things. It is a matter of persevering on our part (instead of perseverating!) in order that they can develop more effective communication strategies and social skills. It is NOT fun. And, I don't get the amount of tantrums that you have indicated in your posts. Can you get breaks? Is your significant other on board with this and can he help? You're fighting a lot of battles right now so I hope the two of you are mostly on the same page...My husband is definately NOT on board! He is soooo annoying! He dosnt help with anything and if I tell him for the hundredth time hel just zone out again! Not to mention he dosnt think anythings wrong with our son but then if you knew him youd know why he thought that! We just got into a fight yesterday because he was grumbling about paying for therapy for our son but yet he can buy a volkswagon! Sorry now im getting alittle carried away! I think asking "why" questions is an EXCELLENT SIGN!!!!!!!
My son didn't ask "why" questions until he was about 4 or 5 - remember all NT kids go through that phase but when they are much smaller, I want to say around 2 or 3. I think ASD kids hit this phase "late" and then when it does hit then it seems out of character for an "older" toddler. Does that make sense? Asking "why" questions is so important for Hayden - right now you are his only link to finding out the answers to things he just doesn't understand. Remember, Temple Grandin compares Asperger & high functioning kids to a blank CD - there is NO programming already there. These kids have to be "programmed", given tons and tons of information, and then they will be able to start putting things together. For example, why don't you take him to a couple of different drive throughs and explain again the process of drive through (you dont have to order anything). Or put in a similar movie "See how this one is kind of like that other one? There are all sorts of movies about all different things". Have you ever heard of Autism being referred to as "Wrong planet syndrome?" Treat him like he is an alien from another planet if you will - he doesn't just "know" these things. I think this would be a great time to explain all kinds of things to him - the fact that he is so interested in what is going on around him is a great sign, I think!Sorry to hear that. It makes it SOOOO much harder if your dh is not on board and you are fighting him in addition to fighting for everything else for your little guy...
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