You're a social person -- it's natural for you to notice and care what other people think, that's what helps you function in this world and that's what kids with autism lack to function well in this world. So try not to feel guilty. But you can try to develop some coping strategies, because I know it's no fun at all to feel this way. This was a big issue for me -- I felt like I was on stage all the time out in public. I took a class for parents of special needs kids and addressed those feelings while at the same time developing the skills to cope with escalation and meltdowns, so I could simply be confident that I knew how to do this job and no nasty glance could convince me otherwise.
As far as your son goes, I wouldn't worry about a new stim coming up in a new environment. If the new stim ends up interfering with large chunks of his day, then there might be reason for concern, but right now it's just his way of coping with too much information. He's giving himself input he can control, to block out the overwhelming level of input he isn't yet familiar with and can't control.
Has he been in the chapel before? If not, it might help to take him there and let him explore when it's empty and there are no demands on him. If he has been there before, maybe he's like my son and needs time to orient himself before the place gets filled with people. So his assistant would take him to the gymnasium 5 minutes before gym class began, etc.
A social story would probably also help, so your son knows what to expect and what is expected of him -- this takes away some of the "out of control" feeling.
Good luck with everything.
Hi, don't feel guilty about caring if people notice your child's stimming,thats natural, we all have been there.
As for the new stim,I don't think its anything to worry about,my son has developed a new one since starting Kindergarten ,Its Spinning while looking to the side,new stresses mean new stims for some kids.
I think the more he is exposed to the new Environment the better, could you take pictures and do a social story about chapel, as Norway Mom said?
Good luck,Linda
Thanks guys! I felt really guilty later about that! I feel better now tho thanks
I was just really worried because he has never done a stim like that and not to mention he dosnt usually change the stims he has up.
Altho reading your guys posts made me realize my son does the staring out of the corner of his eye and turning his head thing, he also sometimes does it with a grimace as well. I was starting to suspect it was a stim because he does it often when the attentions on him.
Also I mentioned it to a special ed. director I saw today and she told me to do a social story as well about chapel and take a picture. I will look into taking a class that sounds like a good idea. I think im going to start attending an autism support group at our pub. school as well. Thanks again!
Nikolas has been known to do something similiar, usually flicking his fingers in front of his face, it seems to be when he is overwhelmed. I wouldn't worry about the stim itself, I think its a normal one. I would try chapel again, especially if he is sitting on your lap and its only 15 minutes. My son's stims change all the time- I will say "he is not stimming much these days" only to realize a few days later he is they are just all new ones. He does eye stims where he rolls them in the far right corner and turns his head the opposite way, others where he lines things up and paces looking at them, and spins objects and flaps his arms. This is just a few- the list is long.... he interchanges these and adds new ones all the time, so it is hard to keep up!
I finally decided to NOT worry about stims, although I used to. We went from hand flapping to this really interesting face squeeze with vocaliztion. He also does the eye stim that babyboy described. He especially loves to do it with the patterned wallpaper in the kitchen. Stimming used to take up alot more of his time. He now seems to do it when he is overstimulated...so you guessed it...most often in public. If any one notices...I simply roll my eyes and say "Kids..."
BTW...I tired redirecting when his handflapping was at its height...and he started the intese face squeeze that was leving pressure marks in a little semicircle around his nose. So....no more redirection here either.
Good luck Hayden...
PS. Your son is ADORABLE
Today hayden had his first day of chapel and it didnt go that bad in the sense of what I was expecting but he was very anxious at first and wouldnt enter chapel until I finally convinced him and sat down on a chair right inside the doorway. He wouldnt join the other kids and stayed on my lap and stimming till we both stood up for a little song they all had been practicing for thier classes. He has a stress ball that he takes everywhere with him religiously esp. at school and he held it by the tag sticking out and was flicking it real fast (sorry its hard to explain!) and had his head cocked looking at it about 5 or 6 inches from his face. I figured he was just playing with it but then he kept doing it for a little while non stop and his other arm started moving rigidly like the ball. Anyway it kinda scared me because ive never seen him do this! Also his face was like in hard concentration but at the same time he has an exagerated kinda like grin too if that makes any sense at all! Should I not take hiim to chapel anymore? Its pretty short about 15 minutes or so. He was emotional crying for every little thing before chapel and after and didnt want me to leave afterwards.
I guess my big worry is does this mean something? I felt bad because I was looking around to see if anyone else was looking too and I feel really guilty for even caring!
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