Im in desperate need of some ideas to stop this. Recently my son thinks its funny to push my youngest son real hard. Ive tried telling him no, and even tried time outs and nothing works. I'm afraid that he's gonna hurt his younger brother.
Does anyone have any ideas that will help him understand.
I can certainly sympathize. For many years, I was worried that my older son might accidentally hurt his little brother due to either poor judgment or lashing out.
My son's pushing/hitting type behavior was due to frustration. I kept modelling how to use his words, and by age 7 (I think?), he stopped lashing out completely.
My son never laughed after his aggressive behavior, so that makes me wonder if your son's trigger is sensory-needs rather than frustration over not being able to communicate needs verbally.
The movement, and the reaction he gets from both his little brother and you can be stimulating for your son's senses. He can eventually learn to get sensory-stimulation in more acceptable ways, but you'll have to come up with some alternatives. Banging on a drum, pushing a big ball, etc. Brose around on the SPD website and you'll maybe find some ideas and uncover some other symptoms of sensory issues.
Good luck with everything. I hope some more parents have tips for you.
Thank you so much :) I was just thinking about a social story after posting this.
I'm shocked that I only got one reply though with 20 views. Pushing must not be a usual thing :(
Hopefully your topic will catch a few more people's attention today.
Good luck with everything.
[QUOTE=Elle22]
I wonder if anyone has had success w/ reward charts? Gets a sticker etc. for being a good friend or brother aka no pushing.
[/QUOTE]
We did! If he was having a rough morning (T. one of my campers) We'd go for a walk and we'd talk about the sticker chart and how he really really wants to get a sticker. He loved being able to pick the sticker and put it on his chart. We also sent it home in his backpack at the end of the week so Mom and Dad could see how well he was doing and reinforce the praise at home. Thank you so much for all your suggestions. I'm going to talk to his OT at school in the next couple days and let her know whats going on. Ive never used a Social Stories with him before but I think I might give it a try.My ds pushed other kids from about age 3 to 4. In retrospect it was
clearly a sensory thing, he always laughed when he did it too. Let's just
say we were very unpopular at playgroups. I would try to get him to clap
hands or stomp feet instead of pushing but it did not help that much.
If you are seeing an O.T. ask them for suggestions. Maybe pushing
something heavy (like a toybin) through the house or some brushing with
joint-compression might help. My ds did grow out of it after a year, but it
was a long year.One of my campers was a big pusher. For him it was part impulse control and part because he wanted to play with the kids. We'd say "can you show me how you keep you hands to yourself" and he'd cross his arms over his chest. If we could catch him and get him to keep his hands to himself before he pushed he'd get rewarded. We redirected as much as possible (I had to be his one on one for a day and just follow him around and work on the pushing) If he pushed we'd pull him aside and ask why he did it. The response was usually "he didn't play with me!" and then we'd work through thought process of the child realizing that he hadn't asked the other child to play, and that by pushing he wasn't going to get the child to play and that he had to ask the child to play with him. He actually got this concept well and even came up to me after pushing a child and said "Did you see me push M inside? I got frustrated." Another thing was making a chart. He got a sticker for every amount of time he kept his hands to himself and a reward after a certain number of stickers. Also we had a token can where he got tokens for doing positive behaviors. He was allowed to trade the tokens in for prizes and toys.
Hope this helps
Molly
I second everyone's advice. Our dd pushes (& hits, also bites on occasion). We are addressing it now via social stories, the STOP sign PECS card, alternatives like MiMom talked about (we don't push sister, we push our trains!), etc. We have noticed that her pushing seems to be more sensory-related. Her hitting is frustration, and sensory + communication issues. Giving dd a lot of deep-pressure seems to have helped the pushing. She loves bean bag chairs, firm hugs, etc. If need be, you may want to try a weighted vest or backpack (we use a small backpack w/ some board books in it).
I wonder if anyone has had success w/ reward charts? Gets a sticker etc. for being a good friend or brother aka no pushing.
If my son does something inoppropriate, I try to replace the behavior-like girls don't like their hair pulled, they like kisses. Don't push your brother, push the car fast, ect. There is a book called No Biting the author's name escapes me, I think its Katz.
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