Like some of the others have said, I think there's a general lack of knowledge about what the mild end of the spectrum looks like. Pediatricians don't necessary know what it looks like, and parents don't either. I didn't! I thought at first, this can't be autism because we easily make contact with our son. No hand-flapping, no rocking back and forth and no spinning of objects like I had seen in the movie "Son Rise" when I was in high school.
I also think that on a good day, in a calm setting like a doctor's office, some kids can look pretty darn normal. My son fooled the first professional we contacted, a speech therapist. He didn't do a formal assessment, but if he had, he would have seen language delays that didn't jump out at him during a short visit and chat.
Sometimes we parents have to really insist on a formal assessment and observation in challenging settings.
I don't think it's necessarily a small-town phenomenon, but more luck of the draw.
I've just been wondering why so many people have a hard time getting others to see that their child might be on the spectrum. Is it a small town thing, luck of the draw, I know most physicians aren't educated in school but ...I just don't get it.
Sorry if I sound cranky, no more sugar day 4! I don't mean to offend, we are moving to a smaller town and I was just wondering about this.
I think 95% of the people think Autism is only the severely affected child who sits in a corner and doesnt engage wih the world at all. So when you have a child with mild Autism or Aspergers, they say "oh, I dont see it at all " Also known as "you are imagining things or are just looking for an excuse for your childs terrible behavior." Just my opinion, which is not worth a whole lot LOLI rarely tell people my boys are on the spectrum and when I do I always get a really patronising response - I think we are supposed to take it as a compliment
It is hard and not very fun to hear those patronizing comments - but I do feel that most people are trying to give a compliment. My goal is for ds to be able to function in society, which usually means he has to be able to not come across as HUGELY different. So, if people think he is not being hugely different, I consider that success and am pleased - even if they are patronizing about it.
Now, if it's family/friends - I have a much more difficult time because I have to hear it over and over. Thankfully, we haven't run into that much - with the exception of his godparents. I cut them some slack as their son has lots of red flags (moreso than ds) and they totally deny it. So, if they admitted that ds has autism - they'd have to look really hard at their own child I guess. I absolutely know that if I suggested they have their son looked at that it might damage our friendship as they are in such denial. So, I stand by hoping some teacher will suggest it at some point... Sigh.
But I digress (this is common for me to do!
Maybe some people think it's catching? Or they think there is no way they could know someone who has autism - as it used to be considered so rare? Autism awareness is helping, but we're nowhere near where we need to be. I think most people think "Rain Man" when they think about autism, like someone else said. And, a lot of people (who must have PERFECT children) think that we are all just looking for an excuse for our imperfect parenting skills. HAH! I would love for them to try to care for one of our kids for even one day and see how it goes!
Well, better get off my soapbox for now!
For Sharlet it's totally obvious that something is going on, but I STILL get the occasional person saying, oh she seems totally normal to me...(NO functional communication, in nappies,extremely delayed motor skills etc, etc)I have a bit of a problem with my neighbors, they think my boys are spoiled and bratty at times, and they probably are, but the fact of the matter is that my neighbors have absolutely no knowledge of autism even after i have tried explaining to them, they don't believe that my child does not have a good understanding of what he should be doing, They think he understands but CHOOSES to behave the way he does.
I really think its just a matter of education and neighbors and even extended family do not have any huge investments in our children enough to educate themselves on Autism. Sad but true.
"I think 95% of the people think Autism is only the severely affected child who sits in a corner and doesnt engage wih the world at all. So when you have a child with mild Autism or Aspergers, they say "oh, I dont see it at all " Also known as "you are imagining things or are just looking for an excuse for your childs terrible behavior." Just my opinion, which is not worth a whole lot LOL"Like some of the others have said, I think there's a general lack of knowledge about what the mild end of the spectrum looks like. Pediatricians don't necessary know what it looks like, and parents don't either. [/QUOTE]
I agree! When I first took the boys to their new pediatrician here and said that they had delays and autism had been discussed in the past he looked at me like I was nuts. They didn't really talk but they sat very nice in his office and while he examined them. They interacted with him and the whole bit. Then he did something they didn't like. Like blow air in Andrew's ears before I had a chance to tell him not to do that. Total total meltdown and now a meltdown everytime we so much as walk in the door. It did get me my referals, he doesn't question me anymore about anything concerning them. LOL!
I just had an odd experience yesterday and it made me think of how hard it must be for some people to get services. it's too long to get into and after Saddypinas post, I always think that someone would recognize my posts!I used to get the pity looks because she didnt look or aware of anyone....now she actually does have facial expressions and talks sentences and looks so darn cute and nt....I get the blank stares like I made it up~double edge sword!
Yes I think that is very true