Question for parents | Autism PDD
How differently do your ASD kids act when they are at home opposed to school/daycare, etc.???
I have heard some say that their kids act totally different at school or daycare. Either they "act" autistic at home but not at school or right the opposite.
I just am trying to figure this out.
Thanks for your input!!!
Yes, J seems pretty typical at home some days. But at school, forget it. Hejust really wants to stay away from all the other kids...
it is impossible to act autistic
many children with ASD adapt to differant enviroments
they may conform at school but be awful at home
rules play a big part with higher functioning children and aspergers
Its like learning a part for a play they role play
they behave how they think others think they should behave
but at home they have no worries about themselves they can just be themselves without any pretense at all
there behaviours are accepted and understood and home but at school it is seen has wrong
shell
Yes, ds acts differently at home than in other situations. For us the is b/c the dynamics at home at completely different than anywhere else, and he is comfortable being himself.
The SD very politely says they don't see some of the same issues as we do.
However, b/c you are in the daycare provider, after sometime a child will develop their relationship with you and that relationship will have its very own dynamics as well.
I just feel that the evaluator really must not have seen what I see every single day with him.
So, I just wondered if he didn't do at home what he does at my house. He really needs every service that they'll give him. He only gets one hour of speech per week. ( 2 yrs. old and absolutely no talking at all)
I just wish I had more say-so in what is going on, but I have to almost keep my comments to myself and just watch him not get better. It is just about to get to me.
I keep thinking that I will finally get someone to back me up, but since the lady told them not to worry, everything we worked toward just came to a halt and they (mother and grandmother) have "put it out of their minds".
I am feeling so alone and frustrated with everyone.
I just want to give up b/c I don't see any thing changing with them, but then I can't do that b/c J needs someone to see what is going on. Any words of wisdom??? My son seems to have alot more problems in preschool. Hes hyper most times but it really peaks in school, I think because of stress and overstimulation. He dosnt participate with the other kids in group activities, wants to twirl around or roll on the floor, crawl under tables during story time and talk loud and obnoxious among other things. He was actually threatened that theyd give hiim the boot our of school since its private and they can but so far hes improved alittle and they havnt. Could they evaluate him at your house? Maybe that would help? My son just got an eval. from the public school and it was in a quiet room and they thought me and his doctors were crazy to say hes asd even tho he had delays they blamed it on me basically, so Im going to try and get them to watch him in his classroom with other kids. At home and in quiet places/few people he does alot better. Altho I know you probably cant suggest much because he isnt your child which sucks but you could try? You do spend a decent amount of time with him im sure. I have been asking this question for YEARS! I am sure we have all heard "oh your ds/dd is such a sweet person (I say to myself -- he might be sweet but you haven't seen his "other" side). Matt (9 1/2yrs, HFA/Aspergers) has no behavior problems at school. It is just like Shell said - They know they HAVE TO behave at school - they do everything in their power to please - which is my ds. At home though they know it is unconditional love - that we will love him no matter how much they misbehave. There was a point in time (going back a few years) that I thought it had to be all me (single mom, raising twins, etc) that was causing his probs. But after a few outburst in therapy after he became comfortable I then gathered it isn't all me. Again - school is structured and I know my ds needs structure to keep him going. If I ran a schedule at home I am sure I would see a different lil' boy. Does your lil' one qualify for special services -preschool - where he can be seen over a period of time? I do believe one can not accurately evaluate with just one visit. Also - if all you are going to get is one hour of speech a week, take what he learns in that one hour and practice and practice! I wish I had more to offer you. Autism expert Tony Attwood calls this phenomenon "Jekyl and Hyde." For my son, we saw his best aspects at home, where it was quiet and comfortable. It was harder to see his social deficits because we couldn't really observe him in social settings like pre-school. So, as a result, we didn't seek evaluation until age 5, when he started looking noticeably different than his peers, both for us and his preschool teacher. Have you gotten tips from the speech therapist (directly or through the parents) on how you can support his speech development while he is in your care? I think it is fair to insist on some professional guidance when you're dealing with a speech-delayed child. In fact, it's fair for you to consider your own needs in other areas, too. You have a big heart, and we all admire you for taking care of this child in the best way you can, but your first priority has to be taking care of yourself, so you can be there for your own loved ones who need you. Good luck with everything. Thanks for all of your comments-- I do appreciate them all. This is the one place where I actually can find comfort. Most of you have already been where I am right now, so atleast you understand. I just wish I could do more, but, maybe the speech therapist will be able to "see" everything. I just can't help but be agrivated with the mom. She is an Elem. school teacher and is off the clock at 2:45. But I NEVER see her until atleast 4:00-4:30 everyday and he even comes mostly every day during the summer when she is off from school. Maybe if she would spend the amount of time that I get with him then she wouln't be so apt to "brush it off" so quickly. (I have him from 7:30-4:30, 9 hours.) I believe I've said enough!!! You guys probably don't want me to even start on that. I'll keep you all posted on J's progress. Thanks for listening. VERY. T at home is giggly and open and plays well with her siblings. She shows anger and temper and resists doing things. She never talked in Kindergarten. Never made eye contact with her teacher. Very withdrawn. She is different this year, though ... fingers crossed. Another thing: her communication between school and home was nonexistent ... and she wanted it that way! That is good news mandyanthony!!! I'm glad things are going well!
He naturally has a very happy disposition though, at both home and school.
in school to see him in action - he sticks out like a sore thumb. There is
much more unknown, much less choice and much more stimulation and
the stress of all those combined just brings out the worst in him.
My dd has a boy in preschool who has autism. He is fine in school
(though I spot his 'red flaggs') but he participates in activities and has no
behavior problems whatsoever. His mom says that at home he is
incredible hard to handle and has tantrum after tantrum. And he has
great parents who know what they are doing.
I am relieved that my son does well at home, for my sake and his and his
sisters. But it also deferred his diagnosis till school age.My son seems more "Flakey" at school than home-I can't think of a way to describe it except that. My daughter gets irritable at school- she finds it hard to tolerate having people around her all the time. I think though both benefit from the structure and routine of school though. But I see different behaviour in them in different settings- I think it reflects the stress they might be feeling and knowing what is expected of them, the environment around them, the lights-the lights,sounds. people... LizSarah thrives on the rules and routine at school and is a perfect angel...at home she breaks down easily and can be whiney for awhile till I find something to get her into. I much prefer her to meltdown at home than at school..they are clueless she is capable of screaming for a very LONG time:PI talk to Skylar's teacher on a regular basis, and she has stated many many times that he is her perfect student. Well behaved, follows instructions, is re-directed without a problem in the world. I had to pick him up early from school yesterday around 10am (he has an upper resp. infection and started running a little fever), well I get to the classroom and quietly walked in and just stood and watched him. It was like looking at a totally different child. Literally like an alien had abducted my son from the bus on the way to school and left them with a child that was identical to mine. 
The best part about it is, that the behavior that he has at school and the things he learns, he is finally bringing it home with him. We have very few aggression issues at home anymore, in two weeks of PPCD he has learned to sing different songs, spell two different colors( they do a different color every week). They have managed to bring out the things in him that I KNEW where there. I told his principle and his teacher yesterday, that just in the last two weeks, they have changed my son's life and the life of my family. Hugged them both and told them that there is a special place in Heaven for them both for what they have done for these children. 
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