It is a core of the disorder, not being interested in peers.
In our case, I have seen only brief trying to engage with peers, a little bit better if we prompt him...but real interaction, not yet[QUOTE=snoopywoman]
He always was okay around other kids, but just was more content to play by himself. You could kind of tell that he wanted to play with them, but didn't know how. So, he's always had the interest in other people and kids - just didn't know how to express it appropriately.[/QUOTE]
This is my boys. They have always had interest too, but because their speech is so far behind they aren't sure what to do. If other children are playing games they can relate to they jump right in, but they don't ask first and don't really respond when other children talk to them. I often aren't sure what to do in these cases. Sometimes I tell the other child he can't talk but he can understand you and I'm sure he wants to play with you, just start playing and he'll follow along, and that almost always works. It has gotten better and better with time and seperating them at school has helped too, they actually have school friends this year when in the past they would only play with each other and ignore the other kids. They have never had problems playing with each other, they have done that since they were 9 months old, which was the biggest reason I always had a hard time getting a diagnosis. They will still stick with each other if they can. The last dev pedi said that having each other as a best friend doesn't count. Nikolas will always choose Andrew over his little sister. I suppose Andrew will probably do the same. You should see them after school when they are together again, you'd think they'd been apart for months. Also they have a nonverbal communication with each other, and they are a little confused that the rest of the world doesn't understand them the way they understand each other.
Adam is almost 13 and has interacted and by that I mean to be the first to speak to a peer exactly 3 x and he has been very proud of each time. The 3rd time was last week at school. He reached out to the same kid the next day at lunch, but the table was full and he couldn't sit there. Outside of school, he has gone on a bike ride with one boy from school one day and he told me they talked. There was one other interaction with a girl he likes.
We keep trying.
Jasper is 4.5 and gets along with familiar adults just great. He still avoidsI honestly don't remember - it was like a gradual thing for my ds. We prompted a lot and I think pre-school helped a lot. It actually may have been at pre-school that he started seeking out other kids. I do remember 2 summers ago (ds would have just turned 4) we would go to the park and there was a big sandpit there. Ds was building a "volcano" and some other kids came up. Ds asked them if they wanted to help him build his volcano. They were a little older than him, but they said "Sure!" and dug in (literally!). They showed him some better ways to pack down the sand and they played together (minimal talking, but still very appropriate) for about a half an hour. I cried that day (from happiness). At that point, I started to believe that ds would do okay in this world. That wasn't the first time he had done this - but this was the first prolonged interaction where he initiated the contact, talked very approrpiately when necessary, shared and worked as a team on a project. Red letter day for all of us to be sure!
He always was okay around other kids, but just was more content to play by himself. You could kind of tell that he wanted to play with them, but didn't know how. So, he's always had the interest in other people and kids - just didn't know how to express it appropriately. We still have challenges in those areas, and probably always will - but it has gotten HUGELY better. The other thing that helped tremendously is attending Head Start where they taught social skills to all the kids.
oooooooooo
I can't wait for my sweet little guy to notice another little person! right now he 'sees' only adults, and likes some of them which I am thankful for, but at 8 years old, has no interest in peers.
Do you remember the first time your child independently sought out another child to interact? Did it just happen on its own one day? We can usually get Ryan to say one thing (ie 'Hi Johnny') or perform one action with another child ('Ryan, go give Johnny a high five'), but other than that, he acts like other kids arent in the room with him. He is is a SN preschool, getting ABA, speech and OT but doesnt have the opportunity to be in a therapeutic enviornment with NT kids.
For those of you whose kids once were like mine, but now can and want to be social, what clicked for them? Did any of you do anything in particular to help them be motivated to engage other children?
Ryan can be warm and engaging with the people he feels comfortable with (family, therapsists), but not at all with other kids. I cant imagine having to prompt him to interact at every turn...will it ever come on its own?
My son sounds similar to yours, 3 1/2, warm and engaging with adults, will do a short interaction with a peer if prompted. A couple of months ago he started playing chase with his little brother and yells out his name to keep playing. Now, they have other games they play together. I think that having a sibling has helped so much. He is initiating interaction with his brother frequently. Now, he started doing this with an older child at the playground and with a couple of kids at preschool. He has even realized how to get other kids to copy him (even if not for the best) and he thinks it is hilarious. Yes, he seems immature compared to his peers but they are responding to him.
We do 25 hours of ABA, typical preschool with an aid, class swimming lessons, go to the park a lot. We just keep giving him the opportunities to interact and it seems to be happening a little at a time and it is very basic. For his cousins, we gave him pictures of each and talk about them. When he sees them, he is independently seeking them out, calling them by name, etc. He tends to want to do the same activities with each person each time. He also plays Chutes and Ladders with one cousin, always chase with his brother, always throwing rocks down slides with a friend. We have to address the rigidity.
I'm not sure if that helps or really answers your question, just thought I would share. It is a concern of mine as well.