Hi, I'm new to the site and wanted to ask some advice. I have a six year old boy, Jamie, who is severely autistic and doesn't use or understand much language. In the last few years he has become increasingly aggressive towards me - he keeps pulling my hair, slapping me, kicking me, scratching my face etc. This started about 2 or 3 months ago but has only got worse in the last few weeks. We moved house at the end of July which I think has something to do with it. He didn't seem obviously distressed at the time of the move and appears to be well adjusted to the new place (especially as we moved from a flat to a nice house and garden) but I think the aggression is at least part of the way it's coming out in him. He's also bored beacause he can't get back to school until special transport is sorted out for him (as I can't take him myself). I guess I'm looking for ways of handling this as it's getting me down. Everytime he comes for a cuddle he grabs my hair and pulls it - it's not just when he's angry, it's also when he's excited or just worked up. I've tried telling him no but he just thinks it's a game. I physically remove his hands from my hair or his feet from kicking me, but this hasn't had any effect on him. Does anyone know of anything I could try? He doesn't understand language so I don't have any way of talking to him about his behaviour.
I'd appreciate any advice, thanks. xx
Hi, I am new here too and from the UK. My 11 yr old son is severely autistic but has some language now. Its so very difficult and distressing when they become aggressive - we havent had much of this I admit, our son self injures. There is an excellent organisation in the UK called Challenging Behaviour Foundation http://www.thecbf.org.uk/ and they have some excellent resources i.e. some DVD's of families who experience aggression and self injury from their child. The DVD's are free, but I gave a small contribution to the charity.
As you say the combination of the house move and staying at home has made the behaviour alot worse. Do you use PECS at home for him - great for de-stressing and diverting from challenging behaviour. I understand, I know our kids are VERY quick when aggressive. Perhaps a chat with your son's paediatrician would help too.
Let us know how everything goes.....take care
Paul,
Many thanks for your response. The link looks really useful and I will definitely have a look and get a DVD if I can. I noticed another post which I think was written by your wife, where it was mentioned your boy bites his hand? Jamie also does that - he has done it for a while now. He only uses his left hand and I have to keep putting cream on it as his knuckles are very swollen and the skin is broken. He often pulls my hair while he's biting his other hand, bless him! He is very quick and strong as well. I'm glad your son is using some language now. Yes Jamie does use PECS, and that has helped quite a bit. He can make sentences starting with "I want." He still finds is frustrating when he can't tell me what he wants as quickly as he wants to though. x
Hi, its Ali here and yes I am the wife of Paul but alas he doesnt post on forums, lol
Ah! biting - so nice.......horrible to watch, so walk out the room but Ollie has bitten so hard - he has done since he was 6 that he has now resorted to his forearm (it has a mass of bruises), the tops of his legs and banging himself under the chin. Anyway, nice to meet you, take care x
Those of us with children who are severe have many tough decisions, and one is meds for this type of behavior. After fighting the meds issue for years, I finally gave in, and my son is SO MUCH BETTER IN THIS AREA, it is wonderful!!!!!!! Just a thought. We did try everythign else and the only other thing that really helps our guy is NO MILK - not even a drop!Our son is not aggressive but the no milk rule helps his anxiety. He chews his nails alot and much more when anxious, they look awful. Maybe if you just turn and walk away with no expression whatsoever when they are aggressive. I know the therapists who work with our kids tell us they have to ignore getting bitten/slapped by kids sometimes and how hard it is when it hurts ALOT! I don't know if this is really possible all the time but maybe it would help. Functional behavioral assessments and positive behavior intervention plans usually help immensely, even with lower functioning kids. However, those techniques can only go so far, whether a child is higher functioning or lower. My own son is what is probably considered in the middle and he MUST have Risperdal to control some of his aggressions (as well as control his severe tics). Risperdal is the only medication specifically recommended for kids with autism, tho it doesn't work with all (however, it seems to work with the majority who need meds). Sometimes other meds work better. We are very, very lucky these days that anti-psychotic meds have come a LONG way. If we parents have tried all the behavioral techniques and our kids STILL need help, meds can be a Godsend. I would definitely choose a doctor who is an expert in autism, though.The meds route is what we took only after 5 (yes, 5) long years of every kind of treatment and assessmetn and therapist you could imagine - yet just a small of meds does wonders!!!!!!!!Thanks for all the advice. I will speak to Jamie's teacher as well and see if she can help, but if nothing else works I'll consider taking the meds route.Stezzy -- My son's name is Jamie, too, which is more unusual in the States. He's not severe, but his large size makes ANY aggression severe. I know many, many people whose kids have been helped with Risperdal. If you can get your son to a psychiatrist who has a lot of experience medicating ASD kids, you might be able to get relief fairly soon. Good luck. Keep us posted.