Daddy, I am here to tell you, DON'T stress because he is turning 3. It is a wonderful thing that you got a dx and got started as early as you did. But, my ds is going to be 5 years old next Wednesday, and up until this past January, he could not ask questions, much less answer them. He has very little speech at all, it was more pointing and whining to let me know that he wanted something. Just since January, if I would not have gotten a definite dx of mod-severe autism and severe adhd, I would have just thought he was a child that had severe adhd and was a very slow learner. He now has a HUGE vocabulary, can hold conversations very well for the most part. He is able to ask questions and answer questions that he is asked. He just started PPCD (preschool program for children with disabilities) on the 27th of August, and by the end of the first week, I for the first time in his life, a normal child. Everyday that he comes home from school ( he goes M-F from 8-2), I see a totally different child than I saw when I put him on the bus that same morning.
Your little guy is going to do just fine. You were lucky, you got the head start on things that I didn't get. Skylar wasn't officially dx until this past July. It's not to late, there are programs in the public school district for children like ours.
Good luck and Happy Birthday to your little man.
You are doing great !!!!!
Congratulations !
I wish I was in your position - R will turn 3 in 2 more months and is still not saying a word and we also got a diagnosis in Mid Februray ( not so far behind you )
Compared to R , your son is making REMARKABLE progress
Somehow the turning 3 in itself is not stressing me out - 3 is just a number - brains wont turn rigid between 2 years 11 months an 29 days and 3 years - Know what I mean?
I used to worry about my DS future too, so much that I made myself severely depressed and almost ended up in the hospital. I came to the conclusion that no matter how much he does or does not progress, he will still be our son and we will love him no matter what. Others may not, but IF HE IS HAPPY, that is all that really matters. We will all work towards helping him as much as we can and helping him to accept himself. That is all we can do.
Our children will know the deep love we have for them and that we did everything we could. We can choose to be happy, and we can teach that to our kids. Please do not think I am making light of your feelings or situation. Almost everyone in this board has been where you are now. We are just trying to share what has helped us deal with the world of Autism and hope something will help you too.
"Normal"is relative. You are educated, used to meeting goals and you are "normal" mainstream, that is all you have known all your life. You probably don't know or have one happy disabled adult as your friend. They don't exist in our normal world, so we are not used to knowing how someone outside the norm functions or relate. So we imagine how terrible it is that our children are not normal as we know it. Your ds is even closer to "normal at 3 than some other kids are at 15. Yes it is more difficult when you have to live in a world that was designed without you in mind. It hurts us as parents when our kids are systematically thrown out of normal society, which is the only world we know. Really, relax, your son will be just fine. He may not be at peer level today, that does not mean he will not catch up sometime in the future he is still young. But if he does not catch up, it is not the end of the world for him or you. My ds is 6 and has not caught-up, probably won't. I am more O.K. with it than I was when he was 3. We are still doing all that we can. I am grateful for where he is because it is a long way from where he was at 3. Your feelings at this stage are normal. I know a parent who broke down mentally when her child turned 5. It was her magic catch-up date. We parents with older kids are just trying to save you some heartache by rushing past those feelings. But I think you will go through those and get to where we are now. So your feelings are normal. Just have it at the back of your mind that nobody can accurately predict the future and try to relax. Unpredictability is part of life. Please try not to stress so much that you don't take time to recharge. But of course your son is 3. Your feelings are normal. I just hope to read your post when he turns 6. All the best to your family. Concernedpa. Thanks every one for your kind words. You guys are great! I guess the best thing that happened to us after we found that he has autism was finding this forum. I know he is still young and I understand the different between yesterday and today that he turns 3 is only one day, but honestly this cannot make me feel calm. I feel it is getting late and we should push more. My big concern is that when he is a grown up we regret that "I wish I had done that when he was 3"... But as you wrote no matter what he would be we love him with all our hearts. I wish he never realizes he is different as he will suffer a lot. The nature has committed a crime to our innocent autistic children.. Daddy My son will be 3 tomorrow. He was officially diagnosed with mild/moderate autism last December. Since then he got 10 hours of Having said that, turning into 3 makes my wife and I feel stressed. Before this age, we frequently reminded ourselves that he is very young and has a lot of time. But 3 is a turning point, the point that he SHOULD PROGRESS FAST otherwise it will be late later...I clearly see both of us are stressed and this affects our life, our parenting capabilities but we just cannot make ourselves calm down.(And I should admit I am worse than her). Maybe we have not yet accepted the fact that (Did I say the "fact"?) despite our efforts he could still be different and probably will not catch up with his peers?. Or maybe we still have the dream of seeing him at a regular school (although being a little bit “weird”)... Whatever the reason is I wish he was not three. Daddy i used to feel the same. try not to worry so much, its been well documented that the brain is still absorbing and learning alot of new info for several years beyond three, and you guys took the first step in helping to expand that time. by intervening and providing so much learning before three youve opened the door on how to learn and train his brain (even if its subconsciously done for him) and he will still be able to accept and learn new things for along time to come! dont give up, dont feel like youve failed. you never know what the future holds. and ill never give up the hopes that mine may one day go into normal schools. i just extend my goal/date for it sometimes!
He still is young, and does still have a lot of time to improve. They key is that you are working hard with him and he is clearly responding. Your son sounds about 6 months ahead of where my little guy was at that age. C was about 3 1/2 before he knew the alphabet, recognized colors, started to put 2-3 word sentences together. Today, at age 6, C is not exactly "caught up" to his peers. His communication and social skills track about 2 years behind peers (per his last Vineland 6 months ago) but he is making consistent steady progress. He's in a "regular school" but in a special class this year. LOVES school. Plays baseball & soccer on regular teams with all NT kids. Goes to camp in the summer independently (no aide). He's starting to make friends. He's the happiest kid on the planet and I think the prognosis for the future is really bright for him. I couldn't have said that at age 3. No one looking at a video of C at age 3 would ever believe that this is the same child. My son is definitely "different" in many ways, but he is such a cool little kid! Please don't forget that your son is still just a child. And like any other child, he's only this young once. Try to enjoy it. The nonstop therapy is impressive, but I would think that having autism on the brain 24x7 would eventually lead to burnout for all of you. Are you taking enough time to just be a family? To go to the zoo and let him run around aimlessly like a regular kid? Do you ever leave him with a sitter and go vegitate at the movie theater? Did you go on vacation this summer? Just brainstorming here as to how you might alleviate some of the stress and take some time to mentally recharge. Hang in there. Alot can happen in the next few years! I agree with WIMomOf2 he is still young and seems to be doing exceptionally well, My advice to you is to take a deep breath and try to calm down. My son Michael who is 4 will be 5 in october, was diagnosed with asd a year and a half ago. When i first found out, My husband and I thought Ok, we know what it is and we'll do everything humanly possible to help him and all will BE FINE. I have recently come to the realization that I have been in denial for the last year and a half. I thought we could fix this. I'm the type of person who feels if there is a problem you fix it and move on. But through educating myself i've realized that this will be an ongoing process for a very long time (the rest of our lives), once i came to this point i was able to calm down and take one day at a time instead of pushing myself and my son to speed things up for when kindergarten starts, because like the rest of us I just want my child to be on the same level as the rest of the children his age. At this point I am thinking of where my child is developmentally, slowly working on target areas with him on a daily basis. Today for example was sharing with his brother and other peers. He is much more responsive when he senses that i am at peace with what we are doing. There is no rush and when it comes down to it if we have to keep him in kindy for 2 years or whatever so be it. Not the end of the world. Hope this gives you some insight. Just keep in mind that your son feels your sense of urgency and for him as a 3 year old nothing is urgent but maybe finding his favorite toy. best of luck to you
I know exactly where you are coming from. Usually my nail biting days are limited to that....days. But I have taken up worrying about his gerenal health instead. He had a pimple on his rear that I was convinced would turn into the most severe daiper rash known to mankind. He recently had a bout of swollen glands along with a cold, that I was convinced had to be much more.....mono...mumps...which could eventually turn into encephailits and killl him. Reading this board has shown me that we all deal with this autism thing differently....religion, science, medication, anger, grief. So, I guess we are all "normal", so to speak. Your man sounds like he has made great strides. There is no reason that he will not continuing learning and developing. Sometimes, it is not fast enough for us parent types though... I recently read a poem written by a father of a 6 year old autistic son....can't remember where...it ended by saying "Run away son, run with your friends, run faster, like you are supposed to do." Your son will run so fast one day that YOU may not catch up. Don't you or your wife worry. Leave that to me. I do it well. MY DH would gladly attest to that! Bepper Just want to give you some inspiration. At your sons age my son was not addressing me as Mommy. He was highly echolalic with minimal functional language. HE is now in regular ed kindergarden and doing very well there. He loves school and does not qualify for any special education at all to include speech therapy. your son is young...LOTS can happen and probably will in the next 2-3 years!! Sounds like he's doing pretty good so far and he obviously has awesome parents too. Take care, Karrie Not to be a party pooper here, but it sounds to me like your guy is doing really, really well. Jason is 39 months (3 1/2 in December), and he isn't anywhere near to what your kiddo is doing, seriously! He's got no language, etc. I think all the work you and your son has done and continues to do is really making a difference for him, and I think you will continue to see good progress. Heck, what the heck is "typical" or "normal" anyways? We've all got our problems, I think, and you guys are doing a great job helping your son with his issues. I know it's impossible, but try not to worry. Your lil guy is still so young...so much can/will happen! Hugs!
you can. Now is the time to get busy. You are not wrong to see what else
you can be doing for your child. I felt the same way when our child turned 3
and 4. They learn so much, but they do need to learn a lot more to play
catch up. Just keep on doing what you are doing and question everything.
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