This is a strange situation, because I do have two sons on the autism spectrum, and an NT daughter who is struggling quite a bit with anxiety in school these days. She is 7. The school psychologist called me today to talk about it (that's the strange part...my dd never really has problems in school, it's my other two kids on the spectrum) and they tell me she cries in school a lot. When they finally had her see the psychologist, my dd told them nothing is going on at home to cause this (her father and I are not together and the separation occurred a year ago...so not new) and we've had no significant changes at all to warrant the situation to be a cause of this. She's always been very emotional, but from what I know there has not been a level of anxiety such as being called on in school that would cause such a response from her. My asperger's son is a very anxious person and the way he displays his anxiety is through acting out in school. When asked what is going on with him, he cannot directly tell you what is going on with him, either. He is verbal, yes, but he says he doesn't know why he acts out.
What's the difference here? What are the very real possibilities that my daughter may also be some where on the spectrum? And if even not that, even if it IS anxiety alone, Gosh, what do I do to help? I encourage, I understand she is doing the best she can do (she also has problems writing letters and numbers backwards and still has not figured out which shoe goes on which foot...and while this is typical, she's been provided extra assistance with this from the school and now I am thinking she is dyslexic).
She and my son essentially respond the same to anxiety...yet he is aspergers and she is NT. Neither one of them can seem to communicate their needs very well.
Do any of you ever have these concerns, and help, what do I do here? After two dx of autism with my sons, I am stretched beyond imagination with this.
Thanks for any help.
Jen
I doubt it. She's always been very emotional. We went to Portugal last month and it was just she and I...and it was the same.
Her father suffers from major anxiety and always had, since he was a kid. He swore the aliens were coming for him, always hiding under the bed, and was always paranoid.
It could be she is just anxious and this is something she will always have. It's difficult to see though.
Thanks for your thoughts.
I would suspect she is crying BECAUSE she does not know why she is anxious. If she could express it, she would not be anxious or upset. Just a guess.
Sounds to me like she is NT. Could it be that she feels less close to you because you must work more with her brothers, and particularly with the separation?
My son is a highly sensitive child, too (and also seven). It's a personality type apparently shared by about 15-20% of people according to the theory. It sounds a lot like sub-threshold ASD or SID, or broader autistic phenotype, but I know enough people like this to beleive that it's a valid personality type and not a pathology (and perhaps the higher end of the spectrum should be considered just a personality type, who knows - the dividing line is getting blurrier).
Anyway, all of my son's report cards last year came back with a comment that he's senstive, but getting better at handling his emotions, etc. For him, we're just allowing him to take his bumps and learn from experience how to act, react, and interact at school. So far, so good - no catastrophes that I'm aware of and he's enjoying second grade, as he did first grade.
These kids are also called spirited children.
If these kids warrant a diagnosis, then the ASD rate's going to go to about 1:5 and won't that be fun.
Here's another book that I think might be interesting:
She sounds like me...didnt have a name for it till my 20's and wished I had help when I was younger. Meds made a huge difference for me..calmed the storm and kept me from being oversensitive for every single thing in life:) I have alot of aspie traits but anxiety is the worse which can also cause depression so getting her some help will increase her quality of life so much:) It is totally chemical for me..things can be perfect and I still feel uneasy and cry at the drop of a hat...so I will always need to be on something~not ashamed at all..almost everyone of my friends are too!
The world we live in today I am surprised that EVERYONE is not on something!:)
Jen, you are not alone, I am also fighting anxiety in my dd, but hers started when she was less than a year old. And two years ago when we were hit by hurricane Rita ( I live in Southeast TX), it only made matters worse. In school she is she does ok as far as having panic attacks, none so far. But Bad weather, thunder, rain and lighting will have her coward down in a corner shaking all over and crying her eyes out. We are about to start therapy with another therapist, that also specializes in anxiety disorders before we try her on any meds for it.This week I found some anxiety checklists that might help you get a clearer picture of what your daughter's anxiety. Here are the links:
http://www2.ncneuropsych.com/home/NCN_Patient_Forms/Child/Ch ildhood_Anxiety_Checklist.pdf - childhood anxiety checklist
http://www2.ncneuropsych.com/home/NCN_Patient_Forms/Child/So cial_Anxiety_Scale_for_Children_and_Adolscents.pdf - social anxiety scale for children and adolescents
It's possible your daughter is on the spectrum. She's high-functioning and female and could more easily "slip through the cracks." To ease your mind on this, you might want to complete the diagnostic checklists from "Parenting your asperger child." Here's the links:
Diagnostic checklists from the book "Parenting Your Asperger Child":
http://printables.familyeducation.com/forms-and-charts/skill -builder/51750.html - Part 1, Difficulty with Reciprocal Social Interactions
http://printables.familyeducation.com/forms-and-charts/skill -builder/51751.html - Part 2, Impairments in Language Skills
http://printables.familyeducation.com/forms-and-charts/skill -builder/51755.html - Part 3, Sensory Sensitivities
http://printables.familyeducation.com/forms-and-charts/skill -builder/51752.html - Part 4, Narrow range of interests and insistence on set routines
http://printables.familyeducation.com/forms-and-charts/skill -builder/51754.html - Part 5 - Cognitive Issues (including mind-blindness)
Good luck with everything.