Hang in there! My guy is doing well at school but he has a 2 to 1 teachers aide and very involved SPED teacher while in regular ed, plus all of his same Speech, OT, & PT teachers from the last 2 years! He is really having meltdowns AFTER school though, its like he holds it all in during the day and then after i pick him up he UNLEASHES the dam on our house - tyrades are getting longer & longer too. Breaking things, attacking his sister, screaming, crying. But I keep thinking as long as he does it when he gets him that is better than at school, but man I know how you feel, we are having a hard adjustment period too. Could be worse!
I really hope your guy can get used to his new routine soon & you never know what the year has in store for him!
Have you thought about a different school district? In our city we can go to any school we want as long as we apply for an out-of-district permit. maybe the environment or staff just aren't working for him. What about smaller private school classes? I could NEVER homeschool my child, ever, or I would be in a padded room ROTFL If you can do it tho, more power to ya!
Request a FBA to be done by a BCBA. They can get to the root of the problem and come up with solutions based on the cause. You don't want him doing this another year and being sent home in interfering with his education. Something is wrong somewhere.
It is heartbreaking !! I'm so sorry that you both are dealing wiht this..... I hope it gets better for you.....I had the worst feeling in the pit of my stomach as I read your post. And I cried while I read it because all those old feelings came flooding back to me. I spent a few school years going through that with my son. It wasn't until he got into an amazing school last year that the phone calls stopped and now he's doing way better.
But I remember feeling almost chained to the house. I couldn't go anywhere, do anything because I never knew when I was going to get a call. Sometimes he was at school for 10 mins, sometimes 2 hrs...I just never knew.
What upsets me in these sorts of circumstances is that he is obviously not getting the right kind of support he needs from the school. When Spencer moved to his current school the first thing his Aspergers teacher told me was that I wouldn't get a call because if he's melting at school that means it's due to something they have or haven't done. I can't be the one constantly running over to rescue them when they need to be dealing with the problem because it's THEIR problem, not mine. Boy, was that music to my ears.
Is it possible for him to get a one to one worker? Document every phone call, every meltdown, every response from the school and then write the board of ed. That's how I forced them to supply a one to one aide for my son. He simply could not function in a mainstream class on his own. Way too overstimulating and I insisted it be someone with some sort of ASD support. That was at his old school.
At his current school they do reverse integration. He's in an ASD class and when he's successful and meets his goals there, then he's slowly integrated into the mainstream class one period at a time.
Are there any other schooling options for you? Any other approaches to education that the school may not have told you about? I had no idea an Aspergers class even existed until I was pressuring the board of ed to give Spencer more than what they were offering which was obviously not working.
Big tight hugs to you my friend. I so clearly remember those feelings and it's heartbreaking. PM me if you need to unload.
Poor little guy... No advice - just sending warm wishes your way.Hi all...maybe this should go under the education thread, but it is more of a vent than anything.
Mason started school on Tuesday...they told me he did well, no real meltdowns, just a couple of times where he would get frustrated and immediately tear up the paper he was working on, but adjusted back and tried again.
Second day--by 10am I was getting a phone call that Mason was already removed from the regular classroom. He went into meltdown mode as soon as he walked into the school (well actually it sort of started on the playground, but he got better and seemed okay when he left me to walk into school) he started screaming and yelling that he wanted to go home...they worked with him, eventually calmed him down, but not enough to return to the regular classroom until around 2pm when they were playing an Arthur video and he joined in...after that it was time for him to go home. When I picked him up his face was all red and his eyes were swollen, obviously from crying ALL day.
Today, day 3--We get to the playground, he doesn't want to play he just stands by me until the bell rings...we walk over to get in line and once we get to the line he starts screaming..."I want to go home." This loud ear piercing scream...he immediately throws himself on the ground. All the kids go in, I calm him down some to walk him into the school and as soon as we get into the hallway he starts again...so his teacher and I say that we are going to walk to his locker which is right around the corner from where he is crying and when he is ready he can come over. He screams "I'm going home" and bolts out the door...I take off after him but by the time I catch him he is half way across the playground, luckily I got to him, because I don't think he would have stopped and probably ran right into the road. By this time tears start pouring down my face. It took 3 teachers and me to carry him into school, kicking and screaming the whole way. We finally calmed him down after about 1/2 hour and he started to show a little interest in the computer and that's when I snuck out. No phone call as of yet, so I guess that's good news.
My heart is just breaking to see him so upset! I just wanted to take him home and curl up and hug him the rest of the day...I know I can't give in to this, but I wish I could just understand what is causing this. This is how pretty much all of last year went with him too. This year the teachers seem a little more into helping him and handling him, last year they couldn't handle him and he ended up getting sent home soooo many times. We've tried sensory things with him, calming exercises with him, and so much more, and we just can't seem to find what it is that is setting him off and once he starts it's done, there is no going back.
He has been fine each morning getting ready, no fighting or arguing, (which last year that is how we spent every morning getting ready.) he walks to school, the first 2 days he even played on the playground before school. Once that bell rings and he needs to go line up, it seems to start...I don't know if it's fear of something he knows is coming or what it is.
I know it's only day 3 but we basically picked up right where we left off last year, and I was so optimistic for this year...he did jumpstart program 2 weeks before and he did fine! By the end of last year I was ready to pull him and homeschool, I just didn't know if I could get him to cooperate with me at home...now it's only day 3 and I'm already feeling this way. I know it's early, we have some problems with meds and need to switch his seizure meds...there are a lot of factors that I can look at as being the "problem," I just don't know if I have what it takes to wait it out and hope things get better. I'm just lost and heart broken.
Sorry this is is sooo long...I just needed to get this off my chest. Tears are rolling down my face as I'm writing this...thanks all for listening! It helps knowing you can all relate in some way or another.
I feel so bad for you, it must be so hard to leave him knowing hes having a hard time like that. Ill pray for both of you.
My heart goes out to you. This must be soooo difficult to see. I hope that it will become clearer what is causing this and how to help. Huge hugs to you.
Take care.
Thanks all for all of your support and kind words...the school did call and tell me that he is still in the spec. ed room...they haven't been able to return him to the regular class room yet. They keep bringing in other teacher's that have time and right now the OT (whom he adores) had some extra time and is there with him. He is still very much on edge, but they are able to distract him for some time here and there. I guess that's progress??
Zayzer--you mentioned an FBA from a BCBA, what exactly is a BCBA...we have an FBA in place, but it was things that the teachers and I came up with...I will look through his IEP and find exactly what it says.
Thanks again all for your support...tomorrow is a new day, right?
The poor liitle sweetheart - wanted to send you a MEGATON HUG
OK, I went back and over looked the IEP...I guess I don't see FBA in there I see Individualized behavior management system--then it goes on to state modifications:
Close proximity to teacher, picture support, consistent rules and expectations, foreshadowing of changes in routine, picture schedule, providing a calming area in the room, sensory breaks outside of classroom, arranging from walks in the hall to time in the OT room, social stories.
Is this what an FBA provides? Did we get these ideas because they did an FBA, would that be stated in his IEP?
Sorry for all the questions...but again thanks for everything.
Usually, you would know if a FBA had been done. It costs them money to bring in a BCBA (most districts don't have one). It sounds like the modifications could just be things that you and the teacher came up with. FBA would be when they come in and observe and record his behavior over the course of at least a couple of days and then come up with a plan.
BCBA is board certified behavior analyst.
Zayzer stated "Request a FBA to be done by a BCBA. They can get to theWell I got to the root of maybe one of the problems...Mason hates wearing socks and shoes...his spec. ed. teacher just called again and said that for most of the afternoon he has been pulling his shoes and socks off...we go through this everytime we put his shoes on...he says they feel wrong, he pulls them off, I put them back on, he says they feel wrong, he pulls them off etc etc etc...this takes about 10 times before he is finally ok with the way they feel. Well apparently he has been doing this all afternoon. And everytime his teacher feels they are ok, he rips them off again and throws them across the room.
I buy socks that are a little too small for his feet, because if they bunch up at all in his shoes he gets mad...I also try to find him the most comfortable shoe I can...they need to be loose enough for him to get on comfortably, but tight enough not to allow for too much wiggle room, does that make sense, lol. I have been making him wear the new tennis shoes for a couple of weeks now so that they were broke in enough once school started. We still go through our daily routine of "they feel wrong" but after they are on he seemed like he was ok with them. I don't think this shoe thing has been the complete reason for his problems the last 2 days, but it might be contributing...have any of you gone through this? What kind of socks or shoes have you found that help or to stay away from...do any of you know if they make a sock that doesn't have a seam by the toes? I know that drives him crazy and I have to get it over his toes just right or it bothers him. I think I'm going to post these questions in a separate thread too to see if anyone has any suggestions.
WOW, what a day! And again, THANKS!!!!
I think that there are other things going on as well. As for socks, look at theThis might sound like a stupid question, but until you can find a kind of sock or shoe that Mason can tolerate, have you tried sandals? Is it allowed at his school, or does he hate those too?
Sorry I don't have more to offer...Jase doesn't like socks and shoes much either, but he'll wear them when we're out and about, for the most part.
Thanks again all...I am going to ask about taking him in early or maybe at least through a different door...the problems really don't seem to start until that bell rings and all the kids are lining up!
Sandals don't work all that well either...we have the same thing where it takes him a long time to transition into the new footwear, including boots...I think we need to move to Hawaii or Florida or somewhere warm all year long so he just has to worry about 1 type of shoe.
I am ordering him a pair of those seamless socks to give that a try...wow are they expensive though, huh? But hey if they work, they are going to be worth every penny...I don't think our walmart carries them, I have checked in the past and never seen them, although I should check again.
I just keep trying to stay positive, keep telling myself that tomorrow is a new day! He did have a good night at home, so that is a plus! [QUOTE=emerald_521]
I am ordering him a pair of those seamless socks to give that a try...wow are they expensive though, huh? But hey if they work, they are going to be worth every penny...I don't think our walmart carries them, I have checked in the past and never seen them, although I should check again.
[/QUOTE]
I'm mixing up my threads, lol...those were talked about on the other thread...time to copy and paste lol.
Hi emerlad_521,
I am in the same boat as you with my 6 yr old son Christian. School mornings are a nightmare. I thought that this being his 2nd year in his school, that things wouldn't be as bad as last years but he's still holds on to me for dear life. He says he will miss me and that I need to be a teacher mom like his friend David's mom. Before school started back I took him in to see the staff and one of them even warned me to wear strong clothing on the first day. I have been exposed because my son holds on to my clothes while the staff pry his fingers away. It breaks my heart and I just want to take him home too. Last year I took him to the school office in the mornings and his teacher picked him up from there. He won't walk through the hugs and kisses gates like the other kids. The school office is his safe place and one of staff members (including the Vice Principle) takes him by the hand and hands him over to his teacher. So, he's back to that routine. Even when he goes to ESE classes, the ESE teacher has to go to his class to get him. He won't walk on his own he has to be chaperoned which is in his IEP. He's a strange litltle fellow who I love with all my heart. He's been bribed and rewarded by the staff at his school if he stops crying but nothing has worked so far. They really are patient with him and they love him too.
It pains me to think that some of our little ones are sad, lonely and miserable at school. Chris spends the entire day asking the teacher if his mom is coming yet. If the phone in the class rings he asks if it's his mom. This "mom" issue was noted by the psychologist in his evaluation.
I await the day when my son looks forward to going to school but won't hold my breath.
Hang in there, Sharon
I believe a behavior plan cannot be done by a teacher because the BCBA (Board Certified Behavior Analyst) would have to observe the teacher and child interacting and also what teacher has the time.
My son's school does not have a BCBA. They contract out, and yes they are expensive. The problem she found with my son is he was getting attention and tangibles with his meltdowns and he was also having behaviors to escape work. She came up with the solution of planned ignoring, not letting him escape work, a token board to earn a reward, because it is hard to find things to motivate him she did a reward assesment or somthing like that. I forget what they called it. Everyone who had contact with my son also had to be aware of the behavior plan and taught what to do because it has to be consistant.
A BCBA will find out why and come up with solutions that can help. Behavior is communication. Someone needs to find out what he is trying to say.
I was wondering if you took him into the classroom before the kids got in there, if that will help. Maybe getting him situated and ready to go so its not such a change for him. I don't know what else to tell you but good luck and hopefully things will get better. I know for sandals, Branden is awful with. If he doesn't velcro them himself, he won't wear them.I was going to suggest taking him in a little early. I have had the same problem you are having the last 2 years, the boys would scream all the way to school, all the way in the door, and Nikolas off and on most of the day. I was at my witts end. So was the teacher. I just wanted to take him home. This year he is in an ASD classroom, we gave him a lot of time before school started to explore the room and just check out the teacher before we added other kids to the situation, and he loves school. I was shocked and happy and ready to cut the hours way back thinking he just wasn't ready to go all day, but this year he has cried when I have gone to pick him up early and the teacher actually has to take him to the car cause he won't leave her. Both of them are so excited this year, I think part of it is the new school and teachers and some maturity. But I do walk them into the classroom. One time I tried dropping them off with the other kids and Andrew laid down on the sidewalk and screamed. So I can't do that, I have to walk him all the way into the room. Anything else causes anxiety and sets the tone for the rest of the day. Maybe its the bell or all the kids gathering together, but walking him in a little before or after might be worth a try. Hope he gets acclimated soon:) It takes time but he will I promise!He got to bring some computer games from home that they are going to use as rewards and motivators, so maybe that will help some today. He was also chomping away this morning on his shirt and anything else he could find to chew on...I don't know if it was nerves or sensory, but I asked if he could have some gum at school and they said yes...so maybe that will help too.
We went through our morning ritual of shoes on and off, but he was finally satisfied once again with the way they felt...hope he is okay today with them.
They are going to give me a mid morning call and let me know how things are going...he is supposed to have music right away this morning and he LOVES music, so maybe that will be a good distracter for him...let's hope!!
Linda, I know what you mean with the problems setting the tone for the rest of the day! Once Mason's day goes wrong it is very hard to change it...it's obviously been like that for the last 2 days. Maybe with the somewhat smoother start this morning that will set a better mood for a better day! And if not--AT LEAST IT'S FRIDAY!!
P.S. good to see you Shelley!! Hope all is going smoothly for you!
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