They lost my son! | Autism PDD
Where to start? They lost my son on the bus today. Yup, you read that right. They put him on the wrong bus. The whole bus thing was messed up this morning and it was a different bus coming than he was originally assigned to. I told the teacher and she changed it on his tag, but apparently forgot to change it on the main list.
Anyway, after several frantic phone calls, they found him on the other bus. He didn't answer at first when they were calling out his name. He said it was way too loud on that bus (lots of high schoolers on that bus) and that he didn't hear them. Finally he did and they called to tell me they had found him and that they would be dropping him off in front of his house. He did tell the bus driver that they were way far away from his house and that he lived by the pool He said he told her his address but that she didn't hear him. He told me his address too - so overall, he did great! He was totally calm when he got off the bus - I was the one who was panicked but I tried very hard not to let it show. I had notified dh when they couldn't find him (after 20 minutes) so he came home immediately - even though I called him and let him know that they had found him within 5 minutes of my original call to him. I waited to call dh until they told me they couldn't find him on bus #82 (which was the bus he was on but didn't hear them calling him).
Well, you can imagine how exhausted I am! Ds said he had a good day and that his favorite part of the day was math and writing the number 1. He said the day was too long and he hoped that tomorrow would be shorter. I tried to reassure him that he would get used to going to school for that long. I also tried to not make a big deal of them getting him on the wrong school bus, but also talked to him about how he needed to get on the same bus as the twins down the block and tried to drill into his head the new bus number (I had already drilled in the old one - which is probably part of why he thought he was getting on the right bus!).
So, the first day of kindergarten is over with no pictures of him getting off the bus. I did okay - my dd was a holy terror as I had to have my neighbors watch her (My friend's husband had to hold her kicking, screaming and crying while I ran to get my cell phone). She was very glad to see ds and gave him a big hug right after I let go of him (which wasn't for a few minutes!).
Anyway, hopefully this does not set the tone for the rest of the year. As you can imagine, I am meeting with the principal first thing tomorrow to discuss this issue!
That is the worst. So sorry you had to deal with that! My mom told me some time ago that happened to my brother on his first day of kindergarten...and 25 years later I could still see the horror on her face. WoW! Well the good news is that he handled it well. I bet they won't make a mistake like that again, how insane. I'm sorry you had such a fright. Can you pretend that the first day getting off the bus is tomorrow? Did you get a picture of dd's face as your ds got on the bus? I know that my mother did that and the look on my brother's face was so sad, but priceless!Here's to tomorrow being a less hectic day! and yay, at least he pretty much enjoyed the first day
The thing is - that it totally has to do with the fact that we live in a new subdivision and we aren't even on MapQuest yet. However, we thought we had it straightened out with the bus company. Apparently not. The bus that stopped this morning was NOT the bus he was assigned to - but she is the only driver for our subdivision. So, she took all the boys. One of the twins tried to tell her that my ds wasn't on the bus coming home and was supposed to be - but she thought he was talking about someone else. My son has a relatively common name. Anyway, the teacher changed his tag for his backpack (which all the kids have) but apparently didn't change it on the master list. The first day of school is hectic and she probably forgot. I am calmer now - can you tell? She e-mailed me tonight and apparently still hadn't heard that he had been on the wrong bus. I e-mailed her back and let her know (I was nice about it). I will go in tomorrow to meet with the principal because we are NOT going to start off the year this way. I actually think the principal was probably almost as panicked as I was. I mean, losing a kid who has autism? That is a sure-fire way to get a lawsuit slapped on you! Not that I'm that kind of person - well, unless they hadn't found him or some harm had come to him that is!
Thankfully, all's well that ends well...
I'm so glad your son is okay. That happened to our next door neighbor's second grade son (without special needs) last week, and she was panicked. Hope that things go better tomorrow!I think I would have had a heart attack. So glad to hear everything worked out o.k.
And like you, I would be sitting on the Principals door step tomorrow morning to have a little "come to Jesus meeting" with her. Actually, she's probably so mortified at the moment that if you play "nice nice" with her you'll probably be her best friend forever.
Wow - that seals it, I'm driving my ds tomorrow (his first day).On the upside I think they are going to be extra careful with him now, you
got hand. And your little guy did amazing! My ds is in second and he
would never know if he was close or far away. He would not remember his
address, even though we practised. Today he asked me why all the
houses had their birthdates on them - he ment house numbers. Sigh.
Your little guy did wonderful and he would have been able to tell them
eventually and made his way home, Not many K kids -wether asd or nt -
would be able to handle it as well. As for you, pour yourself a stiff drink
and think of what a great story it will make hat his graduation party.WOW! What a day! Glad it's over and tomorrow is a fresh start! Wishing you a much calmer day tomorrow!
Ds has always been very good with directions. He directed my mil to Target right before he turned 3 (she was watching him while I gave birth).
I think this was an exception - I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt. And as someone else posted - I'm going to play very nice with everyone tomorrow. Unless they start saying it wasn't their fault or something, which I HIGHLY doubt!
The thing is - I was less panicked than my neighbors (who both have NT kids and don't know about ds' autism). Until they told me they couldn't find him on the other bus (which he was actually on). THAT'S when I started panicking, but thankfully they then found him within a few minutes!
Thanks for all the support guys - I'm going to bed!
Snoop....someday...you'll look back on this and laugh. Yeah right.
Poor Baby..and poor Mommy.
It is for reasons such as these that we have opted to drive our son to school for the first year.
GRRRRRRRRRRR
Yikes! I'm glad things got ironed out relatively quickly.
Not many kids here in Norway take a bus to school (they walk, even if it's like half a mile or more). Kids that live in the boonies do get a ride but it might be on public transport. The other day there was a news story here about a kid who got on the wrong public transport bus and was finally tracked down, still on that bus but 6 whole hours away from home!
Anyhow, I hope the rest of the week goes more smoothly.
State law requires them to bus all of us in our subdivision because we live across a "major" highway. We are a little less than a mile to school, but because of the major highway (and there are NO sidewalks on the road we would need to take) they provide transportation. I would like to sometimes walk to school with ds, but with the no sidewalks - no way!
Again, thanks everyone for your support. I'm going in to see the principal today. I'm going to suggest that I would like to help implement a program of parent volunteers to make sure this situation doesn't happen next year. I figure it's better to be pro-active than to be upset. Any thought anyone?
Oh, wow - that must have been terrifying. My God, I'm glad everything is ok - that must have been a pretty tense period of time. Other than that, seems like things went ok, but that put a damper on it.What a nightmare !!!
One day this will be a funny story
I'm a little concerned about the communication at the school, but I'm still trying to give the benefit of the doubt. The teacher this morning asked me if ds had fallen asleep on the bus. I said, no, he was on the WRONG bus. She acted like this was new information to her. I had my dh read the e-mail I sent her and he thought it was very clear from what I wrote that she placed him on the WRONG bus. So, she went over her master list and realized that she hadn't changed the list. She had changed the tag on his backpack but not the list that she went by to put kids on the bus. There was also an issue with the buses and they had wrong numbers on them or something. Apparently a lot of kids got on the wrong bus yesterday!
The principal was in an IEP meeting, but I have a voice-mail in to her. I met with the director of the bus services (he just happened to be there) and he said he got on the bus personally and called my son's name out. I said to him (as this was in front of a large group of people and I didn't really want to blurt out about his autism) that my ds wasn't paying attention, he said it was REALLY loud on the bus and he just thought he was on the right bus so he wasn't really listening to what was going on. Plus, it was his first day and it was long and he was just "chilling out". I found myself wondering why I was having to justify my son not answering to his name when they should have gotten him on the right bus to begin with? And, if they had done the routes right in the first place, this never would have happened!
They are going to probably put animal signs on each of the buses (like they have done in the past - they forgot to do it this year) in the next few weeks to help. Something definitely needs to change and I am going to see if I can brainstorm with the principal to see what can happen to do that.
OMG--you must have been a wreck. I'm so glad things worked out & yourson is safe and sound. Glad you are meeting w/ the principal--I've no doubt
they'll be dotting their i's & crossing their t's from here on out!! So happy to
hear he enjoyed his day, that is terrific!
Hope the rest of the week, and the year, go great!
Glad your son got home safe and sound, and that he wasn't frightened by the experience.
My son comes home and hour early from school for therapy. The bus company never sent a bus to get him from school. I was standing in the driveway waiting and waiting, and no bus! When I went in to call the school, there was a message from the principal letting me know what happened. I had my own little moment of panic wondering where my child was yesterday.
My mother is a school bus driver. She has stories to tell every year. It seems that even with the best laid plans, something goes wrong.
Snoopywoman,
I am soooooooo glad your ds is fine. He was very brave and it sounds like he did very well. Thank God! I am so sorry you went through this. I know I would have been flipping out. I hope the school and bus drivers and everyone gets thier act together and is extra careful from this point forward.
I had that happen with my dd when she was in kindergarten. I know how terrified you felt. That is one of the most horrible feelings in the world, not to mention how scared she was. She is in 2nd grade now, and it took a lot of tall talking to get her to ride the bus this year, we pulled her off the bus after that incident in kindergarten and she has been a car rider until this year. She is doing fine now, no problems and seems to enjoy it.Ds got back on the bus with no problems today. He just didn't want to go to school ALL DAY again. We tried really hard not to make a huge deal out of the fact he was on the wrong bus (well, minus the 5-minute hug I gave him when he got off the bus!
I have the principal, the ASD teacher and his mainstream teacher assuring me that they will ALL make sure he gets to the right bus!
Oh, sorry to hear that. I would have been very scared. Something like that would have made the news here!I'm trying to give them the benefit of the doubt. The principal apologized several times but did say that every year they have one or two kids that this happens to (usually not a child with autism - but most of the kids with autism ride the special ed bus). They have several precautions in place, but inevitably it happens. This year seemed to be much more than that however. I'm letting it ride (get the pun?) and hoping this doesn't happen again. If it does, heads will roll! Ds made me very proud at how well he handled a situation. However, he insists he was not lost because HE knew where he was. So, I said - if other people don't know where you are (like ME!) then you need to let people know where you are - like if someone is calling your name! I honestly don't think he heard them because he was probably trying to drown out all the noise on the bus.
I did say to the principal that just calling for him probably wasn't the best way to get the attention of a little boy with autism who just went through a VERY long first day at school (six and a half hours!). The principal agreed, but did say (and I KNEW I shouldn't have said that) that if his ASD gets in the way of him getting off the bus - they may need to look at alternative transportation. I do NOT want him riding the special ed bus and I told her I did not think it would be a problem if he was on the RIGHT bus! He never had a problem before and he knows where his house is. She agreed and then suggested buddying him up with the twins (the mom and I already came up with that idea between us for all of them - the kids are now calling themselves "triplets" - how cute!).
Anyway, I think the teacher was just overwhelmed from the first day and maybe didn't fully read her e-mail (it was a long one, I need to work on getting briefer - can you tell?
It wouldn't make the news here because I don't publicize that he has autism. The principal, his teacher, the ASD teacher, etc. know that he has autism. I will talk to the bus driver tomorrow to make sure she knows as well. The bus driver on the bus he ended up with knows that he has autism as I informed her of that last night. Nor sure that the head of the bus services knows - I worry he may insist that ds ride a special ed bus and I do NOT want that. He wants to ride with the twins and since we now have a "buddy" system - I think he will be fine, except for Friday when they won't be on the bus. I may pick him up that day or at least have dh go to the school to make sure he gets on the right bus...
You must have been freaking out. I can't imagine your fear. You're handling the aftermath very well. Interesting that the teacher's immediate response was to somehow push the blame on him.
Also, it's fantastic that he handled the whole thing so well.
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