When to say good-bye to lovey | Autism PDD

We, too, have a Bobo at our house, although it's a bear, not a bunny!

It's always been the rule that his 'friends' stay in the car, but could go to daycare or to someone's house.  Now that he's in kdg, we have him leave it in the car, so his friend can pick him up from school.

You could take a picture of bo-bo and he could carry it with him - or you can even get it made into a keychain or something.  We actually had a t-shirt made, too. 

My heart goes out to you... I hate that our kids have to grow up so fast.

I do think it's important to find an age-appropriate compromise.  An alternative to the backpack might be to carry a picture of the bunny. 

Here are some questions and comments you might want to think about before  setting limits on or trying to eliminate the lovey.  They're from a National Autistic Society article:

• Does the obsession, routine or repetitive behaviour restrict the person's opportunities, cause distress or discomfort or impact on the individual's learning? If not, is it really necessary to intervene?
• What function does the repetitive behaviour, routine or obsession have for the individual? (ie what does the person get out of the behaviour?).
• Intervene early by setting boundaries around repetitive behaviours and obsessions from a young age and as they emerge.
• Increase environmental structure by using visual cues (eg timetables, daily planners), social stories, and pre-planning strategies to prepare for stressful events or change.
• Provide skill development opportunities including social skills training, relaxation and emotions identification training and skills to assist the individual better cope with change.
• Increase social, recreational and vocational opportunities for the person.
• Set clear and consistent boundaries around the behaviour by rationing the object, the time or the place - remember to start small and go slowly.
• Explore alternative, more appropriate activities that have the same function as the repetitive behaviour.
• Use obsessions to motivate and reward, develop skills, increase social opportunities and improve self-esteem.

Source: 

http://www.nas.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=1071&a=7103 &view=print

hmmm... i guess 9.5 is still young, but its starting to get up their as far as that issue is concerned. I gave up my blanket at age 7, and did so volentarily, for some reason I was always so quick to grow up, most dont opperate this way, and for him he may need it, but it is definatly almost time for at least a compromise. I know at that age I needed to struggle for acceptance, and i know while he is still young, I almost wonder if its good or bad to have an object to make you feel better as almost a way to well... i dont have a good word for it, so ill just say deflect lifes hardships. I learned at an early age to deal with stuff alone (that got rough quick, especally because not only did I not have any security item, but also restriced what mom and dad knew about my day). If it continues for another year or so, it may be time for some tough love, as he must learn perhapse to cope with life without anything but himself.

im sorry, im no fun

I took a small piece of" Blue blankie ",and put it in ds's backpack,but i guess he wouldn't like that,I mean cutting up bo-bo,That wouldn't be right

I say Let him have it , If the teasing doesn't seem to be bothering him.Its kind of nice that he doesn't care what others think,My son is so overly sensitive to what others think ,he worries all the time.

God bless,Linda

Let him have it.  She used to carry around a bunny until age 2. From 2 yrs on My daughter carries around a small cat shaped quilt .

This forum is so great I am sure I will get a response here that will help me out some.  My ds who is High Functioning Autism (9 1/2 yr old twin) still carries his lovey 'almost' everywhere he goes.  He is so proud of it as it is his stuff bunny he had 'that the Easter bunny brought " since he was 3 months old and he will tell everyone that.  This summer we started new docs which is when he was dx'd with HFA.  I asked his doc about him carrying it around with him (it does act as his security when his anxiety is up) and she mentioned to let him have it whenever he wants.  I have been able to have him leave it in the car most times when we go into stores, but he continues to want 'bo-bo' with him even out to play.  Somedays are great and he will have mom 'bunnysit' while he is out but other times it can be very hard to convince him to leave it behind. 

Should I be more demanding or do what the doc says?  I am concerned other kids will start to bully and tease him (though most of his brother's friends know Matt is autistic.).  Am I an overly concerned mom here or what??

I don't know. I'm leaning to letting him have it, it must provide a great amount of comfort to him. Maybe he can transition those feelings to something he can keep in his pocket. My dd can always have her teddy with her no matter where she is or what she is doing. No exceptions, but she's only 4. I think I will let her decide when she wants to let go.

I agree that you need to let him have it when he is upset of anxious.  My NT son needs his blankie when he is upset, hurt or tired.  (However he wouldn't be caught dead with it in front of his friends.)  I think you are right to fear that your son will get made fun of.  If it isn't happening now, unfortunately it's only a matter of time.  Kids are just like that.

Can you make a special "bunny bag?"  Perhaps a small cool looking backpack that bunny can go in.  You can tell your son that his bunny has to stay in a bag when outside of the house so bunny doesn't get all dirty.  Then your son can simply drag around a backpack, which looks much more age appropriate, with bunny inside.  This will allow him to keep bunny close, but without the social stigma.  If he needs to touch bunny, he can reach into the bag for a quick squeeze.

My vote is for letting him hang onto it. 

It will be a banner day when he opts out of carrying bo-bo due to PEER pressure!

Love Kristy's backpack idea, BTW!

Let him keep it.

I also vote for letting him keep it and I love the backpack idea! 

Thanks all!  Yes, I also love the backpack idea.  He has taken up on a fannypack thta he wears religiously around his waist as well as  'his' first aid kit which he carries on his shoulder.  What the heck, why not add the backpack.  lol.  Thanks all.  I try to explain to him that others could make fun of him - in a way that he would understand and he turns around and says - "So I dont care - let them make fun of me - I will just walk away".  I guess when he is ready to lay bo-bo down for rest he will!
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