beginning communication when non verbal | Autism PDD
We are adopting a sibling group, 2 of whom are autistic. The 4 yr old speaks and communicates at a level that will totally help me with her.
The 2 yr old is totally non verbal. From my last visit with her, she mostly looks at books and wonders around like a little butterfly. She is in my avatar also. :)
We are having a weekend long visit soon (our longest has been 5 hrs so far). She is the first non verbal person I have ever had communication with. She makes no eye contact except when I tickled her torso, she seemed to come back for more. She backs up into me for me to hold her. Besides that I can't even look into her eyes. I have high hopes of beginning pointing to pictures or signing, but at this point we don't even have eye contact. She is physically perfectly normal, and very active - which is a challenge 
We will have 6 children with us besides her (my 4 plus the other 2 in the sibling group we hope to adopt). Most non verbal children and parents get to ease into life together, but our time spent together will begin promptly with an appointment and caseworkers studying us. If this weekend long visit goes well, we were told they may come home with us very soon afterwards. Does anyone have any tips on how I can communicate with her?
How wonderful! Congratulations to ALL of your family. I hope you find adoption as satisfying and wonderful a way of building a family as we have!
-- it sounds to me like you have found a GREAT start to communicating non-verbally, BTW. You might want to read Reasonable People, if you have not -- the author talks about starting communication nonverbally with his son, quite a bit. And oh, yeah, they adopted him.
Wait.. maybe I am being misunderstood.So far she only lets me tickle her a bit and she backs into me for me to hold her!
Maybe I am just a bit nervous. I now realize how much "choice" my children have by their communication with me. (hungry, thirsty, board, read to me, lets go outside, ect) and I am pretty nervous about a weekend with her without any way to do anything. Right now, she does cry/blood curdeling scream (hearing aid on order
) whenver she is hungry, which seems like every 2 hrs.I just wish there was something we could start with.. Maybe I am being too optimistic right now?
So far she only lets me tickle her a bit and she backs into me for me to hold her!
Yes that and the Smiling when yout tickle her is a goood start - my son is also completely non - verbal but I have learned a lot on how to communicate with him and he with me
He does a lot of pointing and gesturing and that helps a TON too
She is beautiful BTW and bless you for adopting her
You should look into Floortime methods. It sounds like she might respond well by your description of her. Search this site for posts on that subject and you can get some good info. Also, google it. This is really how we began the process of getting into my son's world. When she comes back for more tickles--this is good. You want to give her more opportunities that are motivating for her to want to come back. Eventually you can expect more and more of a response. Eye contact is good right now and later you can get a sign or a gesture or verbal attempt. Really you want to follow her around and get into her world. if you have questions about Floortime, please ask.
And, welcome. You are doing a great thing.
One word -- PECS. Search PECS on this site.Definitely floortime!
And oooooooh, she looks ADORABLE! Congratulations, again!
PECS sounds a good idea. Don't fret about eye contact, it's not the be all and end all of communication you know :).
Congratulations. I, too, knowingly adopted an autistic child, and I thinkyou'll find, while the road is bumpy, it's incredibly rewarding!
When my little guy moved in, he was also non-verbal, but was 6 1/2, not
as young as your little girl.
Talk to the foster mom about communication methods, what they use so
far. Make sure the foster mom tells you her routines very specifically,
what wording she uses to prompt things, etc. With an NT child, they can
say what their bedtime preference is, etc., with an ASD kiddo who's non-
verbal, you may have a whole lot of screaming and tantruming over
something as simple as they usually sleep with the door cracked open, or
maybe they always have a drink of water, story, kiss, door closed, etc.
The routines are what's important. If there's one thing I could change
about the day Don moved in, it would be that - knowing to ask about
those things. Also things like, what foods does she eat? Does she like it
presented a certain way? Any phobias? When Don arrived at our home,
all I knew was he liked Barney, Buzz Lightyear, Puzzles, Computer, and
Bathtime. It didn't prepare me for the fact that he ate almost nothing,
would only wear certain clothes (huge meltdowns and he couldn't tell me
why), that he was used to being up until 11pm, that he didn't sit at the
table to eat, that he hated having his head touched, etc., etc.
I second using PECS, along with signs. Since she likes tickles, initially,
when she comes back for more, always reward that. Once she's settled
in, decide whether you're going to want a sign, PEC, or sound, and start
holding out for that before you tickle again. But really, this first weekend,
I wouldn't try to teach anything. Just try to keep her comfortable and
feeling safe. Keep things as similar to the foster home as possible. Work
on bonding and attachment by meeting her needs, even if, for now, that
means giving her something to eat or drink when she screams, and
basically a whole lot of guesswork.
Also, please don't search my posts and then feel like you've gotten
yourself into a mess - my son was older, with a history of abuse and
neglect, drug/alcohol exposure, and has multiple diagnosis. Our
situation is not at all typical. I'm sure things will be much less
complicated and smoother sailing with your little one (I always maintain
that, had we gotten Donny earlier, he would have a lot less challenges to
overcome).
Good luck, and if you ever want to chat, feel free to PM me!I would agree about the PECS..although it will be hard to implement in a two day visit..my son had over a year of it before he even started to figure out what we were trying to do but now 2 years later it has led to some verbal communication and he is working on picture sentences. It might be best to focus on building the relationship by playing with her and naming objects as you give them to her. I would think you could tell the caseworkers your plan to use PECS and/or floortime in the future and they would understand. Before you even start PECS which is a picture card exchange system can I suggest You read a book called "More Than Words". It is the Hanen program and has great ideas for communicating. This will also help you work out what level of communication the child is at. She may not even understand to come up to you to ask for things or that she can ask for things. Perhaps start with real objects not picture representations. So show her the object or food she might want. Just because she isn't making eye contact doesn't mean you don't have her attention. Forcing eye contact could be very uncomfortable for her and for some people it actually makes it harder for them to concentrate on what you are saying. Good luck. Liz Congratulations & Best wishes to you and your family - your little girl is a real sweetie. Thank you everyone for the replies!
We are very excited. We are not saints or amazing people.We were not out looking to adopt, but the opportunity came knocking on our door. One look at their sweet faces and there was no way we could turn them away. Some family of course thinks we are hopeless nuts believing we can make a difference. Thankfully, it is not them that I put my trust in!
I will look into that book, onlinedizzy!
Donny's Mom, these three children were all born on drugs. WHY do the hospitals let the moms take them home, only to let them live in horrible neglect!!!! I purposely won't search your posts if you promise to help me out later if I have questions
I will speak to the foster mom when I see her next. From what I saw before, the 2 yr old isn't really "there" and doesn't seem to demand much, except food. She didn't seem particular at all about anything (except finishing all her food and turning every single page in the book) but besides that she seemed to not care about anything. She has regressed a lot since being in foster care. They say she was talking when she was removed from the home just after age 1. 
Seven up
You are such an amazing person. I can't believe the love you must have for all of these children. A couple things that we have done are PECs system. Where she likes to look at books. Pictures that show what she wants can be a big help. Another thing is signing. A few signs can be helpful if she knows them for basic needs. Another thing is if she is letting you tickle her she is warming up it just takes time and they have to want you to hold them. Both of my boys are like that where if they don't intiate we don't try and hold them or else it causes meltdowns and tantrums. One suggestion is set up a quite corner with pillows and beanbags so she can go and just hide and get the sensory input she needs. When she has had her feel she will warm up. Good luck.
You are an awesome person, and any type of thereapy you chools it will work, it is not about the type of the therapy, it is about how much you get yourself into...
People like you will always amaze me!
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