What do you do? | Autism PDD

My description of my 10 year old daughter:

Beautiful, loving, artistic and passionate.  Quirks:  Very awkward in social arena.  She desperately wants to fit in-and does not.  She internalizes everything.  When someone has an unfavorable behavior (whether it be prevoked and very sparingly) it is interpreted as them being mean to her. And she writes them off as mean.  She has an exceptionally hard time at family functions where all the children are a couple of years younger than her.  She automatically feels that they are favored and that no one likes her-adult wise too. She feels like she is blamed for things that go wrong and unfortnately she is usually to blame.  Although all the adults are very sensitive to her emotions and very careful how situations are handled, there is no good way to handle it in her opinion.  She is negative, sensitive, and the size of a 14 year old which can be an explosive combination around younger children.  Aside from social gatherings with family, she is opinionated, un-yielding and a irrational and sometimes it is more than just her age and immaturity that causes those irrational opinions.  She has a learning disability in computation and has a deficit in processing.  She also has a chronic tic disorder that she has had since she was four-eye blinking with sometimes facial grimmacing involved. 

Teachers , doctors and other medical professionals would describe her as quiet, well behaved, sweet.  Teachers especially would describe her as the "normal average child"  with the exception of her tic disorder. (so frustrating that they can't see what I see.)  Doctors and other medical professionals don't get it either.  She was taken to a psychologist last year because of her chronic tic disorder and aside from the medication she was placed on was recommended to have counseling.  The psychologist discharged her from her service because everything seemed to be going well.  (Underlying is the problem, not surface issues).  How do you get the professionals to look at the underlying issues.  I feel, and almost know she is on the spectrum.  It is so hard to put it in perspective for a professional though so they can grasp the dynamics of her behavior.  Tzoya posted a NY times article not too long ago about the difference in autism in girls and boys and since then I am doubly convinced that she is somewhere on the spectrum.  Her brother, who is five has so many more obvious signs and although the school has him rated as autistic, the medical prrofession does not as of yet.  That's okay for now, he is getting what he needs.  My daughter is not.  I'm afraid we are in for magnification of these symptoms in the years to come and at that point can we turn it around?  Anyone else going through this frustration?  Any suggestions?

 

 

There is someone out there who will listen to you, and you have to find them. WHen someone doesn't understand what I am talking about or refuses to listen-I video tape. Nothing says it better than the exact situation right there on camera. No one can say nothing is the matter then.Sorry, mandyanthony, I don't have any advice for you since I'm completely lacking in experience in this area.  Just figured there's gotta be a checklist out there and googled it up today.  I hope you get the answers you're looking for.Thanks. I am in the middle of researching it now. Gotta help my baby girl.

Maybe these checklists would help, especially if you show them to a new counselor and they can see it all in black and white.  Good luck with everything.

http://www2.ncneuropsych.com/home/NCN_Patient_Forms/Child/Ch ildhood_Anxiety_Checklist.pdf - childhood anxiety checklist

http://www2.ncneuropsych.com/home/NCN_Patient_Forms/Child/So cial_Anxiety_Scale_for_Children_and_Adolscents.pdf  - social anxiety scale for children and adolescents

Diagnostic checklists from the book "Parenting Your Asperger Child":

http://printables.familyeducation.com/forms-and-charts/skill -builder/51750.html - Part 1, Difficulty with Reciprocal Social Interactions

http://printables.familyeducation.com/forms-and-charts/skill -builder/51751.html - Part 2, Impairments in Language Skills

http://printables.familyeducation.com/forms-and-charts/skill -builder/51755.html - Part 3, Sensory Sensitivities

http://printables.familyeducation.com/forms-and-charts/skill -builder/51752.html - Part 4, Narrow range of interests and insistence on set routines  

http://printables.familyeducation.com/forms-and-charts/skill -builder/51754.html - Part 5 - Cognitive Issues (including mind-blindness) 

I fight severe anxiety with my dd (almost 8), and on top of it she has ADD. Her psychiatrist is going to try therapy for the anxiety before we start medicating her for that and the ADD (she is on Concerta for that). But the description of your dd's personality is almost identical to mine. She is so mature, loving, affectionate, selfless and always wanting to help someone. She always seems to put others feelings before her own. For instance yesterday, I bought her and her brother a toy, the same toy just a different color. He accidentally broke his, so she went to him and told him "here bubba, you can have mine". I have never met a person with such a huge and kind heart like she has. But as far as the anxiety I worry myself sick over it because I have an anxiety disorder myself and can sympathize with how she is feeling, but I don't know how to make hers better. I am medicated for mine, so that is easy. All I am able to do for her now, is talk her through the anxiety attacks and hope for the best.

NorwayMom, the link up top for the childhood anxiety checklist, she scored a 55.
Any ideas on things that I can do to help her? 
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