Crying fits, meltdowns--frequency? | Autism PDD
Hmm...just about to ask this question myself. Or at least something along these lines. Trinitys meltdowns are getting bad, quick. She is averg. 1 every other day, 1 bad enough that she screams, crys, hits, kicks to the point she makes herself sick. Then she will go to sleep(tho not usually nap/bed time) she is still crying after she wakes up, tho this time she will let me comfort her more. The other day I really thought she was going to kick the side window out of my van when we had to leave, I had to pull over and move her seat to the middle in the back!! I am worried about her. This is not like her. Her fits usually only lasted a little while and once she got her way or realized it wasnt ganna happen she was fine now NOTHING helps!! AHH! Just as it seem slike we are making head way with one thing another comes along.
1 step forward
2 steps back
~Nicole
Billy has a few tantrums/explosions a week. Chris has them everyday non-stop. It is usually triggered by him not getting his own way (mom saying no), food, or him being, "bored". I cannot interest him in ANYTHING. He does not like toys, or playing. He likes to eat and cook. That is all that will hold his interest. It is hard, and my heart goes out to you. Chris has gotten worse over time...I am looking to change Dr's as his Dr refuses to change his meds in anyway to try to help him. Her answer is, he is on the right meds, and if its that hard for you, put him in a residential facility.Fordexpr1:My 10 yr old acts the same as Chris...we are seeing a psychiatrist who has tried Risperdal with him, but it doesn't help the agression and he told me that another med is needed to help with his aggression...we are just about to try an antidepressant for his OCD explosions...I'm right there with you. He has meltdowns whenever what he wants doesn't happen. I swear we can't even hardly drive by the mall without having to stop or he'll have a meltdown.
Jacob was really bad between 2.5y and 6.5y. We started risperdal at 5y, but never got stable until 6.5y. At 3y---was when I knew something was just not right with him. He wasn't "normal". He had screamed and was violent for about 6 hours one day. It wasn't continual--but it was every 5-10 min, something would set him off. His tantrums never lastest long at one time. Few minutes. But then in 5 min---another one. The older he got---the more intense and long they became. His longest was about 1.5 hours with face down on cement restraining. (beat up his psych)
His very first tantrum was 10 mo. I closed a door. He didn't like that. Everyone told me--"you have a boy now".
We rarely have a meltdown these days (when we do it's beauty though!). Lachlan has been on Risperdal now for about 12 months.
((hugs)) I know they are difficult and draining on you as well.
Tantrums here were at their worst from age 2 to around 3 1/2. At that time we would experience multiple meltodowns per day, where he had to be held in a bear hug lest he injure someone and trash the house. (Sidenote: my son was a thrower. When he had a meltdown, stuff would start flying through the air. To put this in perspective, he has had the best arm in t-ball hands down for 2 years. Only kid at age 5 that can gun the ball from 3rd to 1st. Even at age 3 he had a rocket of an arm. It was BAD!) Sometimes his meltdowns lasted 30 - 45 minutes. By the time he calmed down, whoever was holding him was drenched in sweat. Then is would take another 30 - 45 minutes to recover and get back to normal.
At around age 3 1/2 two important things happened. He had a major explosion in language (started putting 2-3 words together, could express wants, needs, feelings clearly for 1st time) and he started special ed preschool. When C was 4, he was only melting down once per week. By age 5, a few times per month.
Now at age 6, we still get about 1 meltdown per month, but it looks very different. No more throwing or hitting. He will sit on his timeout stool and scream at us ("I so angry. It's not fair. You don't like me. I'm a loser."), but for the most part he will hold it together. He definitely uses his words rather than any physical action to express his displeasure. He also recovers in 5 minutes and is right back to normal.
Hang in there!
When they were younger, the days were filled with meltdowns and screaming fits - pretty much the only time someone wasn't screaming was when they were both asleep, which was rare before the age of two or so.
Things started improving sometime between 3-4 and but really improved aournd and after age four. In their first preschool setting, at 3.0, they would throw tantrums from thirty-45 minutes and in their second preschool setting, (aged 4.0) they would throw 20 minute tantrums that decreased as the year went on to the point where, reportedly, by the end of last year's preschool they were well behaved. I'm very nervouse to see if the tantruming returns with their new placement, which starts in earnest today, and is a regular class setting with regular teachers who might not know what to do. The frequency of this behavior has decreased as their language abilities have increased.
There are ery few uncontrollable melt-downs anymore - Abigail, maybe, 1-2 weeks, Evie, maybe, 1-2 a month. As far as crying fits, probably 2-4 a day for both girls - they are very senstive to correction and will cry when verbally reprimanded for something.
Crying fits generally last for no more than 5-10 minutes or so - usually in response to being sent to their room because they were crying loudly in timeout. They know that they will not be allowed out of confinement until they're quiet, so they get over it pretty quick. I have no idea what's typical for this age (5.0).
My son cries a couple times a week - mostly out of frustration of just being PO'd at someone, and occasionally will yell and stomp around when he's really angry - he's seven. He had a very bad patch around four, when the girls were at their peak, but he's calmed down as they've calmed down.
Honestly? Hardly any, they're pretty rare. I've got to know most of the triggers (eg he doesn't cope well in crowds) and have found ways of de-escalating things. Eg he likes to do set things every time we go into town so I let him, they only take up a few extra minutes and when I've had to stop him it's really upset him. We stick to a familiar routine (not exactly the same, use objects and sign language as well as speech and whilst I'm not saying he never gets upset I can recognise a lot of the time what to do to stop him getting upset. It doesn't mean letting him have his own way with everything but recognising how to help him, if that makes sense.
We are dealing with the same thing. I feel they are increasing as well. I have no advice as our son could care less about things we take away. He honestly lives by the out of sight out of mind theory. Except for juice that is all he ever asks for. I keep reading that things get better when they get aroud 3.5 and 4 yrs. However, it seems like ages away. I just wish I knew why he cried so much. If you ask him more than one ques we are also seeing complete melt downs. My 10 yr old acted this way when he was 2 1/2 and at 3 and at 4, until at 7, he decided to hurt his baby brother...we then put him on Risperdal...I won't be much help, just wanted to offer hugs.My ds (with asd) kind of melts down but he does not tantrum. I have two
girls (NT) and one of them went through a year of horrible screaming-
until-she-threw-up tantrums. We couldn't go to the store, visitors were
horrified. She is a big personality, the good and the bad of it.
I kept telling her what I expected of her and did time outs and after a year
she was able to control her emotions better. But it helped that she was
able to understand what was expected of her- it might be different or
take longer with asd.
How did it effect the other kids: they were worried and would try to
accomodate to prevent the tantrums. I did not want to go there. My son
can zone out but my other daughter was worried about her sister mad
and crying and it was very hard on her. She still has a tendency to want to
appease her sister and I work against it a lot.
What are the meltdowns about- lack of language or sensory stuff or
control issues? Maybe keep a log and see if you find a pattern and act
accordingly (decrease stimulation or work on control issues or ..) Maybe
you could get a behaviorist to do a functional behavior assessment and
help you address it. I don't know if your dd is in EI but I heard that you
can get them to help you with issues at home.
I tried to post a link but could not get it to work. Search on this forum for
' Topic: Advice on tantrums...escalating! ' NorwayMom had some really
great links in that one.Our dd only wants juice too. I know about the out of sight out of mind
thing. Our dd is not really attached to anything lately--she goes through
phases, but no real physical attachments. We take away activities, toys,
movies...and she does not care. In time-out, she doesn't ask to get out,
she just stares at the wall, pretty much goes into her own world & I don't
like that. She'll go right back to the behavior that landed her in time-out
in the first place.
I too heard that near 3.5 things get better...hoping they peak before they
get better, & that's what we're seeing--dd is 3y4m.
Thanks Micki--I appreciate your hugs & input. I have read the tantrums
posts on here, in fact, I started one of them months ago & NorwayMom
had tons of great advice. We have followed a lot of the advice, I do think
we need a professional specific to behavior to help w/ this. There used to
be more obvious triggers--sensory issues, tired, playing with sister, etc.
But, now it's anytime things don't go her way & times we have no clue
what starts (like "hi" leading to meltdown). Our ECI therapist (dd is now
w/ SD, not EI) had recommended giving dd breaks & picking and
choosing our battles. We have done this...but there's a point where you
are walking on eggshells to avoid a fit. That's not good. I fear that we'll
end up making matters worse for her, if we give in all the time. I'm
constantly back & forth...on how to best parent our dd. So confusing...
The school will put a BIP into play if need be after the first couple of
weeks. I'm hoping the routine & activity in school may eventually make
things better. Time will tell. Thanks again for the support! Sometimes it
just feels so much better to talk about it!!!
PLEASE help...I'm really stressing over this...
I know every child is different--autism or not--but I am curious to see
how often you deal with screaming, crying fits, and/or all-out meltdowns.
In the last year +, we've seen an increase. About 1 1/2 mos ago, we
raised Trileptal dose a bit & for a week or so, I thought we saw good
change. Now, we're back to the same behaviors. Today, she was upset,
crying, & our tantrumming more than she was okay. Often, she will cry or
scream simply if someone says hello to her etc. She tantrums if I am
holding the dog or her sister. She had a major meltdown today over
shoes. It's constant...when playing, mealtime, at stores, etc. She has a
MAJOR meltdown (violent, 30-45 mins, etc.) up to 4 times per week. She
has screaming & crying fits several times per day, with tantrums pretty
frequent as well. For us, a tantrum is screaming & unable to control
herself for 5-20 minutes. She's such a sweet, lively girl & it's so hard to
see her this way.
I keep telling myself this is just something we have to deal with. But, it is
getting so very stressful--on me, our older dd, and my heart breaks for
Emma & what she may be going through during all of this. I really want
to avoid medicine, but feel like we are running out of viable options. We
have tried everything we or the professionals can think of. The picture
schedule & social stories have helped, but as far as typical things like
time-out or taking a toy/activity away, she could care less & they affect
her in no way.
Sorry this is so long, dh & I are at our wit's end. It's been a very tough
weekend, I just want to make everything okay for our little girl. Thank
you for listening.
I guess, basically, I wonder--how often are you guys dealing with this?
How much is too much? Any suggestions???
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