mixed blessings | Autism PDD
So, I've been sitting and thinking about how every developmental leap is
really a mixed blessing.
take tonight for example. Donny's had a pretty darned good day,
behaviour-wise. He's been bored, but maintained a nice attitude, no real
problems, aside from him being a bit perseverative (he's wanting me to
buy
him this Lego thing, so has been carrying around the flyer, saying it over
and over, counting days until Christmas, making Christmas lists, drawing
the logo, drawing space scenes, and so on 
).
He kept everything together until dinner, which has been the theme the
last few days - no doubt as he's getting restless and anxious about
school starting up.
Anyways, he was not well-behaved during dinner, picking and fussing at
his food (he doesn't like peas, and there were peas in it), and started
conflict-seeking, hoping he'd somehow get out of eating his dinner. he
didn't, I had his Dad spoon feed him (a bit of shrieking over that, but he
ate it). Because he'd been so rude at dinner (and he's very aware of
expectations around meals and food), I told him he could choose between
going straight to bed, or playing by himself in his bedroom until bedtime
as a consequence. He chose playing in his room, begrudgingly. He then
started to stomp his way to the bedroom, muttering "Christ", then saying,
louder, a very sarcastic "GREAT!"
I called him back to try walking again, nicely this time. He argued with
me, saying "I said 'great'". I said I knew that, but I wanted him to walk
nicely (I wasn't going to debate with him about what he'd said first)
instead of stomping. He then growled at me, called me a moron, and told
me to shutup. So, bedtime it was.
Anyway, what I'm getting at is, on the one hand, it's great that he's now
able to argue, manipulate, and articulate. He's started joking, lying, and
doing all sorts of things I never expected of him. On the other hand,
he's able to argue, manipulate, and lie. I KNOW that's age-
appropriate, but I kind of liked it when he was sweet and clueless and
thought that everyone knew his thoughts, back when he didn't realize
people could be tricked!
Ah well, that's the cost of growing up I guess 
I had to laugh when I read the part about Don walking around with a Lego flyer for something he wants you to buy him. Guess what my 10 year-old son was doing today - Yup - walking around with the Lego catalog and trying to convince me to let him buy something!
I know what you mean about developmental leaps being a mixed blessing. As my mother would say, be careful what you wish for!
Yes, isn't it great when they figure out the social game? Way to go,Donny! The first time I caught my ds lie (and it does not happen much at
all) I was completly stunned. And I still love that I can put his favorite
candy on the table and he will not eat it without asking me first. And if I
say no, he won't! I hope he won't figure out soon that he could sneak
behind my back.
Your account of dinnertime and early bed made me feel like a complete
slacker mom. My kids get away with entirely too much whining and too
few vegetables.Gosh he sounds soooo cute - what a great job you are doing with him yeah, he is cute, even when he's rotten! The other thing he's started is
crying as a means of persuasion. He even tried it at his psych's office, and
she commented on it being a good thing, as it's a developmental leap. It's
not tantrum crying, we've never given into that. Instead, if he doesn't get
what he wants, he'll first try being snotty and complaining about it (don't
know why, as that's never worked either), then switch over to these very
broken-hearted sounding tears. The first time he did it, I gave in, as I
thought it was sincere - I'd brought home McDonald's breakfasts for dh and
I after an early morning appointment, but none for the boys, as they'd
already eaten. Donny first complained, then when he cried, I gave him half
of my McMuffin. Now, anytime he doesn't get what he wants, on come the
waterworks. The "funny" part is, I can say "crying isn't going to work, the
answer is still no", and the tears turn off as fast as they turned on!Donny's mom - its funny you say tat about the heartbreaking cry - R does that a LOT nowadays as he knows that we will drop whatever we are doing and give him attaention
Oh too too true. And he IS cute!
I find it hard to have the socially-complex behavior of an NT kid, after T. T was just too darn EASY! And now I suspect that, at any age, the two younger kids will be SO MUCH more complicated.
I laughed when I read your last paragraph. It is just so cute and annoying at the same time.Glad to hear that he is making progress. Thanks for giving me some hope today.
I so understand! Sam is acting like such typical 8.5 year old boy these days, I can almost see the teenager in him emerging. That year of coaching him to be sneaky is paying off
We must be the only parents around that congradulate each other on teaching our children the fine art of lying and arguing. Great job Donny! (he's such a dude!) mama to Sam 8yrs PDD NOS OCD ODD PPD and Alex 2yrs
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