It's not that they can't be social, but there may be differences. For example, Tom is very social with adults and older children, but he shows no distinction between strangers and people he knows. I've seen him clamber on people's laps to play with their hair and be swung about, that he doesn't know from Adam. He approaches people on his own terms, can be very affectionate but if he doesn't want to be near anyone he ignores everyone or moves away. Both of my boys are very social but there is a big difference between them. The dr diagnosed them ASD because they are not socially where a 4 year old should be, but then neither is their language. Andrew has severe articulation problems I personally believe from the low muscle tone in his face from being so premature. But, I think he definitely does pick up on subtle social cues, he seems to pick them up from me and from his brother and sister so I think once the language improves and he is in more social situations he is going to pick up on those subleties and will learn quickly the social dos and don'ts. Nikolas on the other hand may have more problems with the cues and I can see having the issues of not getting it. He gets very excited when company comes over and loves running with the pack of kids but if they initiate conversation he often turns around and walks away and then goes back and tries to play a few minutes later, and the other kid is confused. This is the biggest reason I don't really believe Andrew is ASD and got labeled that more because of his speech delay and because his brother most likely is.My litttle 5yr old asd son has also been very social and very good eye
contact with strangers. He was always trying to talk even if he did not have
the right words.
It is hard to teach kids to be social to your son is lucky to have this trait. It
will help him in the long run.My ds is fairly social (MUCH more so on some occasions than his NT sister in fact!). Like others, his approach and interactions need to be worked on. He too was tested for Fragile X and does not have it. I have never heard of kids with Fragile X being more social before! First, I will say this was the BIGGEST reason early intervention didn't know whether D was ASD or not. Everyone has always felt he was social. I know our children have to have SOME social issues to have the diagnosis. His is that he doesn't show us things for the sake of showing them to us. (Though, this seems to be changing as he gets into drawing and coloring.)
Anyways, the reason I bring this up is we went to Burger King for lunch. Typically we don't go in, but we did today. D said hi to the two guys sitting at the table beside us, answered how he was, and though the guys couldn't understand him, asked how they were. We do not work on any scripting with D since he just doesn't have the vocabulary right now. But, he told me he needed to pee pee, and we go towards the bathroom, beside the hallway was a little girl about his age and he went up and said hi to her as well, but she wouldn't respond. We came back and he tried to talk to the other guys again, but was unsuccessful since they couldn't understand him.
The thing is, this is NOT abnormal for D at all. He has always been social. I guess my question really is, should I expect him to ever change from that? I keep expecting him to regress in this for some reason. I truly hope he doesn't because I'm sure it will mean a higher possibility of him learning the skills he does need, but it definitely scares me that it could change.
My son (who is coming up on 9 and has Aspergers) has always been really, really social. A friend, talkative, outgoing little guy. Around age 5 things changed in that he still talked and still loved to be around friends but he need to control the situation and dominate the conversation escalated. So his social issues wasn't that he wouldn't engage, it was that he would dominate. That's something that we've been working on for years and he's just now starting to understand that there's a purpose to give and take when you communicate/interact with people and that if you do the give/take routine, people will stick around longer to hear more of what you have to say.
But the other thing I also consider for her is "just" SID. AND speech delays.
That's so reassuring to hear ladies. You have no idea. I can definitely see D getting into situations where he won't "get it." He already does this to some point. There was a girl that rode the bus to school with him last year and during summer school. You could tell he knew the girl and liked her, and when he got on in the morning would go to her and say "Hi." with no response, and then say "Bye Bye" when he got off with no response. The first few times, it bothered me a bit, but didn't seem to bother him at all.My son has always had appropriate social intentions and is very extroverted. However, how he acts on his social intentions is where we continue to work with him.
Now, at age 6 1/2, C is at the point where he can play appropriately with other kids. However, he still has difficulty picking up on cues. For example, if we're out somewhere (park, pool, wherever) and C sees another kid with an intriguing toy, C will approach the child with a big smile, polite as can be and say "hi, can I share yours?" If the other child says ok, all is good and he plays nicely with the other child. However, if the other child, as many children will when a strange child approaches them and asks for their toy, says "NO" and turns his back on C, C will continue to say stuff like "no, it's ok, can I share yours, I like it so much." The other child's body language is clearly saying "no way in hell will I let you touch my toy so get out of my face" but C doesn't give up. I have to then walk over and say "c'mon C, he doesn't want to share right now, let's do something else." He doesn't get upset, and accepts the redirction. In comparison, if my NT son was rebuffed like that with a mean look, he would walk away and come to me and say "jeez mom, that boy is being mean." C just doesn't see it. It's this kind of subtle stuff we're dealing with now.
C's skills and behaviors have improved dramatically in the past 4 years, but his sunny, extroverted personality has remained the same!
Hi there. My dd has always been very social. She has no dx because of this.
In my heart I always felt she was asd, even though I have been told she wasnt. I watch her play with other kids and at glance she looks typical. She will "run with the pack" and seek out play. The only thing is, now that she is in Kindergarten I think I am seeing her social deficits. She does not "get" when other kids get irritated by her. This girl has no boundries and I can see how the kids may get turned off by her. She will come home upset and have no idea why the kids are mad at her.
On the other hand, once we explain it to her, she seems to get it. So, I dont know. Something I am keeping an eye on. I dont think I should have to "tell" her though, I think some things sould come to her naturally.
I just bought some videos that teach social skills. One show was about a bully and when it was finished I asked her about it...she seemed to totally get the situation and said the bully was mean but became nice once he said he was sorry.
She is such a sweet and kind girl, I just hope with all my hope that she can have friends as she ages. So, far so good though:)