My ds's development kind of stopped from 2 to 3.
At 3.5 he started putting words together and talking much more (at least
at home, not at preschool) though he still had much trouble with
receptive language. At 3.5 he also started to push a lot - especially other
kids. It was not aggressive and in retrospect it is clear that it was a
sensory thing. He'd zone out a lot, preferably with a pacifier.
For us, it's mostly behavioral changes that were dramatic. Language has gotten better, of course, too. They had functional language at 3.5, spoke in short sentences and phrases, but could not have a conversational exchange. They could have simple conversational exchanges around four, and by 4.5, were able to stay on topic for a number of turns, though they still don't really engage in social conversation for the most part - they usually want to talk about their interests, and it's still very one-sided.
but the biggest changes have been in adaptability, need for ritual, etc.
The girls used to have a very hard time transitioning between activities and would throw incredible tantrums at preschool when they had to transition away from preferred activities. This behavior got better this year (starting around age 4.0-4.5), and by the end of last year, they were doing very well in preschool routine (they just started kindergarten today, so we'll see if they have a hard time transitioning for this placement).
Also, the need for ritual has calmed down a lot. We used to have to say things in certain ways (for example, if they were scolded for something, they would say, "I'm sorry" over and over again until you acknowledged it in a specific way (you had to word it just right), and they would get increasingly agitated if you didn't respond in the way that they wanted you to. They had major issues with bedtime ritual - it would take us 30 minutes to get them to bed sometimes, we had to arrange things just right, say goodnight just right, shut the door just right, etc. This has mostly gone away, although Abigail still will not sleep with her blankets on her (they have to be scrunched up by her feet) and has a hard time if you don't say good night to her at the right time (which is after she's in bed).
Tantrums are less frequent and less intense, though they still occur too often.
At 3.5, I think that Abigail still wasn't completely potty trained.
In general, they are much more interested in people and have many more activities that they enjoy (drawing, playing dressup, playing with stuffed animals, puzzles, catching bugs, etc.) and have much better language and comprehension of the world around them (for example, we can let them play alone in the yard, even the front yard, with only spot checks to ensure that they're ok), so the average day is much less "intense" than it used to be - it's easy to keep them happy and busy, which means more time for us to do other things, too.
They're self help skills have evolved far from then, too. Then, they would still need to be attended to in the bathroom (and may have not even been fully potty trained) and had very few self help skills. Now, the can dress and undress, pick out their own clothes, put on the shoes (can't tie yet), bucket their seat belts, help themselves to drinks, brush their teeth, make their beds, etc. etc. etc. So, the amount of time we have to spend actively caring for them has been drastically reduced - now, we spend more time playing with them or doing our own thing while they are happily engaged in some activity of their choosing.
Oh, they are starting to show empathetic behaviors, too - especially Evie. They'll comfort the other when the other is upset, express concern and soothing gestures to other people, etc. That's nice to see - for a long time, it was like, putting in a lot of effort for not much return of affection.
We just started suspecting a diagnosis at 3.5 (a little past). Ds was very verbal and mostly functional. But, he was always advanced in that area, as is dd. But, he did some scripting, and some delayed echolalia. He also would ask the same question OVER and OVER and OVER again! Right in a row. All of that has changed - he does some scripting, but it is always in an appropriate setting - like he is telling me word for word what was said on a TV show (I ask him what it was about) or he quotes things from TV. He does ask the same question - but he only asks it once a day or so. For instance, "Do tornadoes cause damage?" So I have to ask HIM what the answer is - because he absolutely KNOWS it! I think that's an anxiety issue, so I do try to be patient. But, my solution is to always ask the question back to him. When I finally hit on that solution at 3.5, that is when he stopped asking the question over and over. Turns out HE wanted to answer it!
Socialization - very little. He pretty much stayed to himself, with the exception of one girl who would drag her with him on some days. Other days she would cut him dead and tell him "You're not my friend!" This girl had some issues, trust me! If someone would initiate play, he would try - but couldn't keep it going. He was interested, but nowhere near as interested as he is now. He has two best friends (the twins down the street) and they have a love/hate relationship with each other like a lot of kids this age. But, they honestly can't go for more than a few days without being with each other! We had company all weekend and were gone on Monday and the mom called me on Tuesday and told me the twins were suffering from withdrawal due to not playing with ds! Things CAN change. He is still not totally appropriate and I have to intervene moreso than I would for a typical child, but he has made TONS of progress.
Sensory issues - still has some. But it's not as bad as it was. His balance and coordination were way out of whack - proprioceptive stuff was a big issue. Through tumbling, PT and OT, he has conquered that for the most part. He is still a bit more cautious than others, but he is SO much better. For instance, the twins (who are 5) will jump off the top of his bunk bed into a bean bag from a standing position. Ds will squat down so that he is almost sitting on the ladder to jump. Not a big deal, but still different.
Loud noises still bother him - but only if they are REALLY loud. And others (like the vacuum cleaner or blender) don't bother him at all anymore. He did freak out at a recent wedding reception and hid under the table because the music was so loud. I have to admit, I was even bothered by it - and loud music rarely bothers me.
Anyway, a lot of those issues ds has grown out of or gotten better about. It doesn't mean he doesn't have issues - they have just changed as he has grown.
I highly recommend tumbling, PT and OT for any proprioceptive/balance/coordination issues as well as other sensory issues (mainly OT for that). Working on socialization constantly is important and getting your kids around typical kids as much as possible. It is NOT easy but worth every minute.
Good luck to you and keep us posted! i'm sure others will have some awesome advice for you...
Robby, at 3.5, was nonverbal, but screamed if unhappy. He signed about 60-70 words. He was VERY hyperactive - I had a Dev.Neuro. & a Dev. Ped.(with about 25 years of practice each) tell me he was the most hyperactive autistic preschooler they had ever seen. (Thanks, Doc, now tell me what to do with him!!) He almost never sat down and played, preferring to run around the house aimlessly.
He constantly ran away from everyone. I had to put him on a baby leash anywhere we went.(Got some truely interesting comments there!) He hit & bit, mostly me, and threw any item he could get his hands on.
His diet was limited to a very few foods, and we had gone Gluten Free a few months before.
Now, at 9, Robby speaks very well, if a little too fast to be well understood sometimes.He is above average in intellegence, but failed all his SOLs b/c he is still too hyperactive to test accurately. So far, we have tried a few meds for the hyper. Can't find anything that works well, so we just deal.
He stays with us in public most of the time, unless he is frustrated or hungry. He doesn't stim as much as he used to, but still flaps his hands when excited. He expersses his feelings now in words, but still hits occasionally.
He eats about twice as many things, and I can get him to try new foods now where he wouldn't even look at anything new at 3.5.
Hang in there! I never thought Robby would talk & now sometimes I wish he would shut up for a minute.
Fast forward a year, they say yes and no to questions, sometimes I have to repeat the question but not always, I hurt, this or that hurts, I want ____, I'm not gonna, word count in the hundreds still mainly labeling for Nikolas, Andrew has complete conversations but his articulation is so bad I can't understand half of what he is saying. But he is communicating pretty much like a 3 year old NT child would if we could just understand more of what he is saying. He is very much aware of social cues too, more so than Nikolas. They can feed themselves, dress and undress themselves, and drink from a straw. They brush their teeth and wash and dry their hands. They weren't doing any of this a year ago, or they needed help a year ago. Andrew now says hi and bye and waves. He initiates with other children, Nikolas is still a little bit more of a loner, if its not his brother he might or might not be interested. He usually says bye after the person leaves. He did that to the ABA therapist the other day. The guy told them bye and he ignored him, the guy walked out the door and Nikolas goes "Bye David, Bye" and waves. LOL! I had to go get the guy I was so impressed with that.
In that year there wasn't a whole lot of outside therapy. THey went to special ed pre school, we moved last October, but neither placement was very good and the speech was a joke. Most of the changes came over the summer when I opted to keep them out of summer school and do an hour a week of private OT/speech. That doesn't mean I did nothing, I always work with them, but we didn't have anything outside. I think some of it is just maturity.
Don't give up! The boys have made amazing strides in the last year, they still have a ways to go, but they have come a long long way. They have gone from being 50% delayed across the board to being 25% delayed now in everything but speech, speech is still probably at least 50%, but it is coming along, slowly, but coming. Last spring though their speech tested at 75% delayed, so that gap actually grew and then shrunk back to its original size, so they have come a long way there too. So don't give up hope!
ETA: Oh, Nikolas' stimming has really gone down too. He use to spin alot a year ago, he rarely does it now, and if he does its like 5 times and he's done. His eye contact is double what it was, its not perfect, but it is greatly improved. I think its improved as the communication has improved. He WANTS to communicate now, he never cared before. Andrew never really stimmed that much. Nikolas still sits in his rocking chair and rocks though, I think he always will. He doesn't do it anywhere else though, so its the appropriate place.
Anthony is nearly 5. At 3.5 Anthony was verbal although his langauge was not (and still isn't) great. At 3.5 he would say things like "Look hole my pants". Which meant "Look at the hole in my pants". And, DH and I were the only ones that could understand it. He never used small articles or other small words in his speech. His articulation was very poor and that has really improved. He was not very conversational but his conversation skills are really shaping up now.
I can see alot of development in his theory of mind. He will ask me about my likes and dislikes. He tries to hide things (i.e. if he spills his drink on the floor) and if I walk in while he's doing it he asks me if I'm going to be angry.
At 3.5 he was fairly aggressive with his big brother which was probably directly related to his poor language skills. The aggression has decreased but he still doesn't quite get that he can't hit people when he's mad.
He's always been social. He has always wanted to play with other kids. At 3.5 the interaction had to be completely physical (tag or chasing each other around) or he couldn't keep up (because of the language). Now, he can play an age appropriate board game to completion. We still have some issues with the appropriateness of his play. He likes to be physical - he's a hugger and kisser and he likes to wrestle. We're working on him asking his playmate if they want to wrestle BEFORE he tackles them to the ground
Academically, he is ahead of typical aged peers (although by no means a genius). He can write his name and every letter of the alphabet. He draws pictures and asks me how to spell words and short sentences so he can write them on his pictures. He can read a number of sight words. He can count to 100 and recognize those numbers in print. He can count to 100 by 2's, 5's and 10's. He knows his months of the year, days of the week and how a calendar works.
He's always been a good eater. Also, his motor skills, fine and gross, have always been ok.
At 3.5 Tom was mostly echolalic, (delayed and immediate) with some labelling words. He was hyposensitive to sound, touch and movement, had no fear of strangers and was very happy and gentle with his baby brother, bar grabbing his feet and waving them and getting him in a headlock to hug him
Today, at four years he is pretty much the same. The main difference being that he's dropped his speech, though he signs as much as he did and he had a two word signing sentence the other day. His drawings have also got more detailed and he is able to sign more things about them.
YES!! you do not have to wait years to see change in your 3.5 year old!My son is 3.7. He will just begin therapies in a week as well as school. However, we too are having a language explosion (at least it is an explosion for us). He has added anywhere from three to four words per week. He just said his first two syllable labeling word....schoolbus! He has a forty word vocab now , but six months ago, it was a 5 word vocab.
He continues to have a visual stim as well as an odd hand to face stim which we are workign on. Last year at this time, he bit..alot. Now, if it happen once every two weeks, it is alot. He is slowly entering back into our world....and I am much more encouraged.
Mom of twins....last year at this time....I felt hopeless. I now feel hope. What a difference. I think my son feels that in me, as well.
My son at 3.5 (he is 3.9 now so this is pretty accurate :)
.waiting for assessment
.dramatic reduction in delayed echolalia (its gone now, completely)
.functional communication on the increase
.sensory issues like putting everything into mouth, quite active
.totally smitten with new baby brother
.clinging to dad around that time because he looked after him more
.not toilet trained (we started two days ago)
.not able to sit and follow through an acitvity (can do now)
.eye contact improving
.sitting better at meal times
.problems with fine motor skills
.reading books on his own (being hyperlexic), now WITH some understanding.
Just a few months have made such a huge difference in him, I can't wait for him to start OT and 10 hours of ABA per week (for his behavioural issues). I am sure this is exactly what he needs.
Mary
My dd started ABA therapy at 3 1/2 years old. Until that point she had 10 words. She said her first sentence at 3 1/2 .. "I want swing". She was very aggressive to other children. She bit her brother and often eloped. She carried little toys between the fingers of her right hand at all times. She was basically an angry little person. We really couldn't go anywhere because of the constant tantrums and forget about baths or teeth brushing. She is a different person now. She is in mainstream 1st grade with an aide. She can read and write. She talks in sentences, asks questions, shares opinions (constantly). She brushes her teeth, and loves baths. She plays with friends and loves loves loves play dates. She still has delayed speech with tons of problems with semantics and no it isn't pidgin. In many ways she is a typical 6 year old. She still has huge problems with her OCD. I love messing up papers, books and other things she has lined up just to watch her line them up again. She is also still very impulsive. Many people on this board have children that are MUCH more functional than my child at age 3 1/2 and I think that they will see some absolutely amazing things from their kiddos as they get a little older. I think that you have every reason for hope because early intervention is a wonderful thing.
Aloha, Renee
My son is 3.5 so I can't tell you anything other than where we are now. It sure is good to hear that others who were similar have progressed so much. My son had 20 words at age 3. We started VB/ABA shortly thereafter. He now speaks hundreds of words, mostly sentences. Still has a long way to go in terms of being functional. Mostly labels what we are doing and requests. "Momma is reading the newspaper." Sometimes he leaves out the articles. His eye contact has improved. Usually we get initial eye contact when he begins a sentence and then he starts turning away. He calls many people by name, is more interested in adults. However, is developing a great relationship with his little brother. Loves to call out his name and chase him, tease him, etc. Gross and fine motor are slightly delayed with hypotonia. Articulation is poor (apraxia). He is very affectionate and comfortable with familiar people. Gets anxious in some situations and may hand flap slightly. He is rigid in routines and has a tough time with transitions. He is very intelligent. Reads and writes (not pretty) and does simple math. He would much rather do story sequencing cards or sight words than play. But, once we get him engaged in play--he does a great job.
I have great hopes for him and love to hear where others were at that point and where they are now. Thanks for sharing.
Hi everyone- my son Ryan is 3.5 years old and Im curious to know what your child's main issues were when they were this age vs. where they are now. so many of you have kids that are 5 and up and have made such terrific progress- you all give me hope for a bright future.
Can you think back to where your child was at 3.5 and what the main struggles were in terms of communication (how verbal were then then vs. now), socialization and sensory issues? Please share whether or not those issues have now gone away completely, morphed into something else, or just became less problematic.
thanks in advance for sharing!
At 3.5 my dd was isolated in her own little world and withdrawing into herself more and more the older she got. She scripted and parroted heavily and didn't have much functional language. She would not make eye contact. She would scream because she couldn't communicate effectively. Out of frustration she would hit and bite herself. She displayed a lot of sensory seeking behavior, would never sit still. She didn't pretend play and would play alongside but not really interact with or talk to her younger sister. Her diet was very self-limited. Anything I'd try to do out of our normal routine would upset her. She would cry and hide or scream if someone other than me or my dh would try to touch her. She would scream and sob when approached by other children, or run away and laugh to herself...it got so bad she would scream at merely the sight of our 3yo neighbor in the yard next door. As a family we became isolated too, I never felt like I could take her anywhere and she'd beg me to go home whenever we did go somewhere.
When my youngest was 3.5, he had some functional language, he had a vocal stim, he banged his head into cushions, and he walked around clutching sticks in both of his hands.
Today, my son can talk. He is still much more observational than conversational, but I can talk to him and he can talk to me. He no longer has a vocal stim. He also doesn't bang his head into soft surfaces or clutch things in his hands. He does clap his hands when excited, and he has a little happy dance likes to do. He is starting to read and write, and he was able to do Kindergarten work successfully this past year. We can take him anywhere and do anything with him.
My son still has about a 2 year language delay. However, all of the therapists working with him are optimistic about his future. He still has a long way to go with his language development, but I'm starting to feel like he will get there.
The summer that Andrew was 3 1/2, he started saying "Mommy"! That was the beginning of our future...At 3.5
Clarissa would recite cartoon dialogue by heart. She wouldn't talk to ANYONE except me and my husband. She barely spoke any sentences, and exchanges were EXTREMELY scripted. She didn't play that much with dolls or figures. She was also very echolalic-- she'd repeat the question if she didn't understand it.
She was only partially toilet-trained, as she wouldn't go to the potty anywhere else except at home.
She basically ignored everyone until she got used to them.
On the positive side, she could spell and read a little.
Now she can speak in sentences. She can actually TALK about stuff without it being so scripted (oh what a relief!). Now she likes to talk about animals and asks where they sleep and what they eat. What a beautiful thing it is to Google what flamingos eat (for example) and talk about that. It's so much better than the boring exchanges expected of me.
The thing that is annoying though is that she still expects certain responses. For example, let's say I don't like a t.v. show and I've told her in the past. If she sees the show on t.v., she'll say "you don't like that show, huh mom?" until I say "no". It does not matter how many times I let her say it, she will say it until I say it, and I find that annoying.
Now she tries to engage people, but she does it so badly. She says "hi" to complete strangers, says inappropriate things. But at least she tries.