The social problems are showing... | Autism PDD

I have been on a long road with my daughter. I have know for years that something was different about her. She was three when I convinced myself she was asd. Nobody would back me, not even my mother or husband.

I have had some evaluations and no dx. I know she is "grey" and the red flags with her are more "pink." I always thought her evaluations were too short and that the doctors were not taking me seriously. I was told that her eye contact is "too good" and that she did not have enough social deficits.

Well, now that my dd is in Kindergarten, its all starting to come together. Kids do not like her because she does not know when to quit. She has no idea that she is annoying them. She throws sand and as a result, they yell at her...she is so upset that they are mad but cannot figure out that she upset them by throwing sand. Everyday at least once she has a propblem with another student. Its a real problem.

Her teacher is so sweet and is trying her best to help her understand. I told her teacher I thought she was asd, she thinks I am overreacting and made a comment that if she did, it would be the kind she could outgrow??? Anyway, I will not hold that against her, she just has no idea about the spectrum. I am used to that now anyway.

Well, now what do I do? I dont know how to begin helping her with social skills. I have heard of social stories and I am looking into it. Any other advise? Do kids end up "getting it" eventually? Will this be a problem forever?

I am really down about all this...I am totally overwhelmed.

keep pushing for a dx

sit an ADOS that is 98% accurate keep shouting and do not let go

if children are noticing her problems it just give you another step on the ladder

go back to the start and go again

shell

I'm sorry. My dd's sypmptoms also didn't really stand out until last year when she started preschool. She was 4 at the time. There was one boy in the class she sort of played with and talked about, but he was on the immature side so I can see why she was drawn to him. All the other kids were out of her league socially. I always thought kids with autism got a diagnosis early on but came to find that many kids symptoms stay sort of hidden until they are really pressed socially.

Briana's first year of K-4 (when she was 4) was very bad. She would stand
alone, or run around the playground alone. She never talked to a peer,
and also couldn't follow directions given to a whole group at once. Once
they left her on the playground because she was in her own world when
the whistle blew.

At home, she was an entirely different girl. She would talk A LOT,
and was always telling me of some "mean boy" or "mean girl," and kids
throwing sand at her, calling her stupid. =o( She is brilliant, btw. ;o)

Also around this time, Jair had begun zoning out to spin
wheels and stare at lights, echo last words. @@ And baby Lia was
screaming when we held our hands out to pick her up, crawling away
from us. That's when I got online and named myself Sleuth.

The school obligingly tested Briana for my concerns of earlier language
regression, social concerns, etc. but said she was fine, just "young."
So we had her repeat K-4, and she actually did do much better the
second time through.

Now she's in kindergarten, and I'm amazed that the teacher tells me she
is very quiet in class. She still talks way too much at home. I still wonder
if she's on the edge of the spectrum, and if so, will it get better or worse??

Anyway, sorry to go off about us. I wanted to commiserate for a minute!
Personally, I have stopped seeking a diagnosis for Briana, because it
would be expensive and they'd probably still say "wait and see." @@
Instead, I just talk to her all the time about social skills, what to say, how
she felt, how the other person might feel - question, listen, coach,
prompt, review... I think all kinds of story books are great for teaching
social skills - but of course, she prefers nonfiction books!

Quirky Kids is a great book for parents in this situation. It points out
that sometimes quirky kids come from quirky parents - hehe - so some
advice was to try to be more sociable ourselves, keep up with fashions
(seriously), and know what's going on in their peer world. I thought that
was good practical advice. Meanwhile, document her development, your
concerns, so that if it does get worse, you'll have history to show which
would help with a diagnosis. That's another thing - it was so important
to me to get a diagnosis, but Quirky Kids helped me relax about that. It
is GOOD that they are on the edge of normal. Um, I think.

sleuth39323.7061226852

I would recommend the DVDs from www.modelmekids.com. You can see excerpts from the videos on the website.

Good luck with the social stories. I find them very effective. Putting the message in book form makes it more concrete, especially if the book has visuals. I find that it doesn't take many repetitions before we see an improvement.