Would this annoy you? | Autism PDD

I am 100% sure that I would have had an emotional reaction to that conversation, with or without the life-threatening comment.  I don't think most school staff realize just how vulnerable we are -- that this may be "business as usual" for them, but certainly not for us.  This is our child and our child's future we're talking about.  And then there's the power imbalance -- they have the power, and we have the need.

I have heard of people saying that autism is not a "death sentence."  While this is true, and I think it's good to promote a positive and hopeful attitude, it is also disrespectful to the feelings of families who are dealing with suspected or newly diagnosed autism. 

I hope your next encounter with the school is more positive.

Here's a topic with sample letters for various situations, in case you're wondering what to write. 

http://www.autism-pdd.net/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=18727&am p;KW=sample+letters

Good luck with everything.

 

They just don't get it, do they?  I'm a Reading Specialist in our county so have the ability to be "flexible" with my work-time - the superintendent told me that when I was hired.  He said I can make up time in the afternoons if I need to check on with Cammi's teachers a day or two a week in the mornings for a few minutes.  The principal at one of the schools I work at just could not understand why I needed to connect with her teachers a couple of times a week in that way.  Cammi is almost completely non-verbal.  I explained to him that she can't come home and tell me what happened at school that day and teachers don't have the time or energy to write things down every day - it's so much easier to talk to them.  He gave me a rough time of it - even though his boss had no problem with it.  I came really close to quitting my job but feel like I can't because lately my hubby and I have almost separated.  I finally just came out and told the principal that the superintendent said it was fine.  Things are ok now. 

Hang in there and things will come together for both of you! 

 

 

Considering that most parents do not generally take their children to the school district to be evaluated for life threatening illnesses and disorders...ummmm, yeah....that would annoy the crap out of me!!  I would like to know exactly how many of the children in her caseload waiting to be evaluated have life threatening issues that are so urgent she identify for educational intervention that your daughter must take a backseat????   Grrrrrrr [QUOTE=tzoya]You do not have to spin your wheels and spend hours calling the school district in order to get a full educational evaluation for special education services. Plus, your child does not need to qualify as having autism in order to get help for his issues if those issues are significant enough to cause him to not be able to make educational progress (which means academic, functional and behavioral progress).  All you have to do is put IN WRITING, DATED that you have concerns and that you want your son to receive a full, multidisciplinary evaluation in all areas of concern and that the District should consider this letter your consent to evaluate.  From the date of your letter until the date his services MUST START (should he qualify for services) is 60 calendar days.  YOu might want to consider hand-delivering the letter and asking the secretary to date stamp it as well as date stamp a copy for you.  That way, there will be no delay in getting the ball rolling. YOu should deliver the letter to the Special Education Dept.[/QUOTE]

Thanks Tzoya.  I just called her back and told her I wanted to clarify that I wanted a full multi-disciplinary evaluation.  Her answer was she wouldn't do anything but that. 

Glad I got that cleared up, but I will put it in letter too.  This lady is going to hate me by the end of this.  She does sound stressed out though.
I was speaking to  the school psychologist today regarding my 3 year old.  She is new to the district and just started this week, but I had hammered the school with calls for weeks so I think that is why she called me so quick.  

Anyway, I was explaining some of the echolalia and sensory seeking stuff.  I couldn't tell from her responses what she was thinking but maybe she has to be vague before she actually does an evaluation?  All she kept saying was, "interesting". 

So, she says, "You want me to evaluate him for autism?"  I replied that I knew that she could not give a medical diagnosis, but that I wanted to see if he qualifies educationally as autistic-like and look more into the sensory seeking and speech.

She mentioned she really wants to get to ds but she has a few other cases she has to get to and then she says, "Remember, this is not life threatening."  Um, who tells that to a mother who thinks their child may have a spectrum disorder????  Well, duh, I know it's not life threatening, but I told her autism is a  very concerning disorder and given my daughter's diagnosis and having the possibility  of multiple kids on the spectrum, I should be very worried.

I am getting a clinical vibe from this lady.  I couldn't tell when I was speaking with her if she knew what I was talking about.  You know how it is when you feel like you are talking with the average person about sensory and autism stuff.  That is how I felt with her.  Maybe she does that because they aren't supposed to suggest things before evaluating, but it was the weirdest conversation.  It was almost like I was talking to a wall that occasionally asked me questions. 

We go sign the assessment plan Tuesday so at least that will get the ball rolling.

So, would you be annoyed if somebody made that comment to you about it not being life threatening?  I know she just started and is probably overwhelmed with evaluations and such, but saying something like that makes me feel like she is putting me down for how worried I am.

It would annoy me too..too absurd to think we dont know that about our own kids especially if already have one child on spectrum??

Our school's psychologist evaluated Sarah by observing her and looking over her tests the other professionals did and gave her a provisional label of autism with savant abilities...I dont think she knew anything about autism in highly functioning kids..she kept looking at me like I was making it up or something. I like developmental pediatricians best:)

I would find it annoying and I would be seriously peeved to have my concerns minimized in such a way.

I had an administrator do something similar when I requested an aide for Ozzie.  They basically compared my child as being less needy than a medically fragile child therefore flatly said not to get my hopes up and that the list was long.  She also pretty much said by requesting an aide for my child I was taking tight public funding away from a much more needy child.   

I then wrote a a very polite but informative letter to her in response to our discussion outlining all my child's "invisible to her" needs (every single milestone delay and behaviour and safety issue many supported with OT/ST etc) and we had an aide within a week.

My advice to any parent when dealing with any administration or service providers is.... Write write write down what you want to say and copy it for yourself and send them a copy.  They can't escape the immortality of words on paper or claim they didn't know.  And even if you talk by phone,  follow up important calls by summarizing what you heard in the conversation in writing or asking about concerns that were not addressed because you thought of them after etc.

I'd be annoyed alright but she may of been writing down what you were saying so it just come over like that. As for 'not life threatening', how many things on her workload are!?! and how many are more serious than asd. I would not be a happy camper - no way.

She probably has an enormously expanded caseload this year and is freaking out.

But yes, that sounds rude.

I wasn't aware that our children had to be dying in order to be made a
priority in the educatonal system. [QUOTE=MamaKat]I wasn't aware that our children had to be dying in order to be made a
priority in the educatonal system. [/QUOTE]

lol  I know.  That is what I thought.  I have been fuming about that comment ever since.  I even called my dh at work, and he agreed with me for once. 
[QUOTE=foxl]

She probably has an enormously expanded caseload this year and is freaking out.

But yes, that sounds rude.

[/QUOTE]

That is what I thought.  She even told me how she doesn't have a computer yet, but she will do what she can to get the assessment plan ready for our meeting Tuesday. 
I have a feeling she showed up and had a ton of messages from parents already.  She also mentioned she is only part time.
You do not have to spin your wheels and spend hours calling the school district in order to get a full educational evaluation for special education services. Plus, your child does not need to qualify as having autism in order to get help for his issues if those issues are significant enough to cause him to not be able to make educational progress (which means academic, functional and behavioral progress).  All you have to do is put IN WRITING, DATED that you have concerns and that you want your son to receive a full, multidisciplinary evaluation in all areas of concern and that the District should consider this letter your consent to evaluate.  From the date of your letter until the date his services MUST START (should he qualify for services) is 60 calendar days.  YOu might want to consider hand-delivering the letter and asking the secretary to date stamp it as well as date stamp a copy for you.  That way, there will be no delay in getting the ball rolling. YOu should deliver the letter to the Special Education Dept.
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