you can get an iep and satatement without a dx
and dont be embarrased be proud
because he has done a lot today and has got through one of the hardest days he has had to face what a boy
he has overcome new smells of the children new smells in the school voices all talking at once the rushness of childrens playground bouts.
he has expressed preferance also by saying no he knew he had choice
give hima hig and tell how proud you was of him
shell
No, that is not an IEP. She, if she is really keeping tabs, should go to his school and help them help Hayden. He probably needs a visual schedule to help him keep track of his time there. In my experience, a kid rolling around, hiding, and crying means he has no clue what he is to do. Telling him is not enough, I am sure. He would really benefit from visuals, I think. Good luck.You REALLY, REALLY need to read FROM EMOTIONS TO ADVOCACY. If your child has the behavioral issues it seems he has, he should have had an iep starting at age 3. In order to GET an iep you need to send a letter to your local school district asking for a full evaluation for possible special education services. This must be IN WRITING so that your request is dated. Because, from the date of your request to evaluate, the school district has 60 days in which to get your child the services he needs. A medical diagnosis does NOT get your child services. An educational evaluation does. The book I recommended is a step-by-step how to book that can help you get your child what he needs. Putting a child like your son (or our children) into a private preschool for typical kids with no legally sanctioned supports is bound to fail. Get him the help he needs now and he'll have a much better start to life.I am soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo stressed out!
I so was not expecting this, he was pretty good when i dropped him off, altho all the kids were supposed to pick a book and sit in a circle and he wanted to play with the puzzels. I finally got him to grab a book which THANK GOD they had one about dinosaurs, his obsession and he FINALLY sat down. I thought that was good because he was sitting down with the other kids. So thats all I knew when I left.
Then I go to pick him up expecting him to run up to me all happy saying what fun he had but his teacher immediately said she needed to talk to me and that he had a rough day. He ran up to me and demanded why i had left him there and that he didnt have fun. I was so nervous what they were going to tell me!
They said he was bouncing off the walls, during circle time was rolling around practically kicking the other kids and hiding under tables, screaming NO, wouldnt come in from the playground, wouldnt stop playing with the toys dinosaurs, was just in his own little world, not listening period and acting like he was on crack! Finally the director of the school had to come and try to get him out from under the table. Finally she said she was going back to her office if hes not going to listen and he ran out after her and wanted to go in her office next. So she took him back to class and figured hed sit since he seemed to latch onto her. She said he sat with her for alittle while then she had to go back to the office and he started everything all over again! She said he seemed to connect with her for a very little while for whatever reason but when she had to go back it all went down the drain again. They wanted to call me but by that time it was 15 minutes till they went home so they didnt (its only a 2 1/2 hr class!).
So basically the director told me well see how tomorrow goes and maybe give him a week but they really could not handle him and you could tell his teacher, the assistant aaand the director were all clearly stressed! I felt so bad and horrible! I wanted to bawl my eyeballs out!!!!!!!!! She said that Manzanita which is a public school has a wonderful program and they have people who can deal better with him and they wanted to possibly refer him but i told her we have an eval. from them on the 7th but i dont think hel qualify cuz last year he didnt, even tho I said their screening was so corrupt its not even funny! She said that now that he has documentation from a couple of doctors about his asd and seizures that will probably make a big difference and that she really hopes he qualifies because they dont have what it takes to handle a child like him. I am sooo depressed! Mostly because I wasnt expecting to hear the bad news. Hayden said he dosnt want to go back either. Sorry im just ranting here to make myself feel alittle better. O ya they said its not good for the other kids to see him like that because theyl want to copy him and start running wild too and its not good for him to be on display like that with everyone just watching him. Alright I think im finished, thanx for listening!
hi hun
what do they excpect him to do
it is is first day he will be so confused they can not judge him on one day
they should have had something set up for him to show him what was happening.
and if he kept on doing the same thing over
thats because whatever it was was not done correctly or not finished
i bet also they did not try to entice him into the class
i had to saty 6 months with my son and not once did they try to involve him
i did all the work in the classroom.
leave him to it attitude
i wouls find out exactly what happened to push him over the point of no return because something he was unsure off has scared him and because he has no clue what it is he is running scared the only way he knows meltdown
shell
I agree...didn't they try anything to engage him or distract him? He was obviously a little over stressed, probably a little over stimulated! Just out of curiousity, do they have any experience with ASD? Is this a public preschool?
I think for one a picture schedule would help a lot! They need to set up some sort of sensory break or something...it seemed like he had some sort of attachment to the director, so even if she could just make periodic stops in the classroom to let Hayden know that she is there, might help him...he knew Mom wasn't there but if he had a schedule or if he is familiar with the clock, show him what time you come back to pick him up...all of these things might be very temporary and once he is settled in he might be fine, if not I don't think asking them to do a few things above and beyond the "norm" is too much to ask for...I forget does he have an IEP? I could probably go on with a list a mile long, all things we have tried or are using with Mason.
Sorry it went so badly...please don't feel guilty and please don't feel like it was a failure...it was the first day and everyone is entitled to a bad day every once in awhile. Take care!
Hi Shell, I was very confident they could handle whatever came up (altho I didnt think he would act the way he did!) I met with them before hand to discuss everything so I was very confident sending him there. His teacher was even a special ed teacher with the public school and is still on the board. Hes met his teachers before hand and seemed fine. Also his developmental ped. gave me some papers to give his teacher about aspbergers syndrome and things to do to help with the different problems. When I first dropped him off his teacher explained to him in steps what they were going to do but he pretty much wasnt listening cuz that was in the morning when he wanted to play with the puzzels
They all expressed to me that they would be able to handle him and anything that came up so im thinking everyone had a hard day there! They originally said a couple times that they dont call the parents till after two weeks usually cuz the kids are still adjusting so I can just imagine the ruckus my son was causing!
I really hope he qualifies for the public school during his eval because if he gets kicked out of the preschool hes in now, what happens when he hits kindergarten next year? There arnt any other preschools I can put him in our town.
hi
first of all its her job to make him listen not to tell him once and hope it sinks in
They can not justify kicking him out and they would not dare do it on those grounds.\\\\\\
\they knew he had problems before he went and they accepted he may be difficult
this is not down to your mistakes
its down to down right ignorance
i know how our kids ate treated at school some ignored some,picked on
thats why i advocate for parents to make sure they get what there childs disorder requires
i would not even worry about it my friend
it is the schools problem for crapping them selves at the first sign of trouble
pmsl i wish i could have seen him run rings round them
i bet they needed a glass of wine or 2 lol
keep smiling
he is still a baby learning new is strange and the unknown is a dark dark place
give him time he will bloom
shell
Oops sorry I didnt see your post till after i posted the other one, Niki.
This morning they seemed like they were really trying, it wasnt working too much but they were trying to distract him and explain to him what was going to happen, so I dont know, im thinking they kept at it, but maybe not?
This is a private preschool and they arnt experienced in asds. I think their regreting accepting him because the previous meetings we had hayden was acting "normal" and they said he seems fine to them but I guess theyr opinions have changed! I figured his teacher was a special ed teacher and would be fine but I guess there are 16 children in class and she cant give him her undivided attention?
Ill ask them about all of that, Niki, I think it might make a big difference. I feel kinda embarrased tho after today, like they didnt know what they got themselves into and kinda want to kick him out already tho! He isnt too familiar with a clock yet.
When I scheduled his eval with the public school she said even if he dosnt qualify shed want to keep tabs on him, is that an IEP?
Shell, I know I kind of feel like its only the first day you know what I mean? They said theyl give him a week but that seemed alittle iffy to me if theyd even do that. And im sure they needed a few glasses of wine later, lol.
All that said, being EVALUATED for an IEP does not GUARANTEE an IEP. An IEP is given ONLY if a child's disability impedes his education. But I'd say that getting kicked out of preschool is a BIG impediment to an education!
Hi Nikki,Shell, I know it was really hard for him too, your right no matter how upset I am about all this, I need to let him know how proud I am of him. I really am too I just get caught up in my panick mode!
23red the public school can help him out while hes at the private one? He definately does not have an IEP then! He was evaluated by the dev. ped. who said he was very visual and scored above average on that part of the test.
Tzoya, Ill definately look that book up because obviously im still clueless to pretty much everything! Even tho I go over what I need to do theres always something I miss or forget, I know im ditzy! Everythings sooo confusing to me! He has an eval. on Sept. 7th, so does that mean theyll create an IEP then? Im afraid itll be to late for helping him in the private preschool, unless can I call the public school up and let them know whats going on? They sent me the papers and I signed so it shows the cutoff date they have to provide any services hes eligible for. Is there something else I should be doing?
A private pre-school may not be the way to go. I would ask the teachers to document the behaviors they have seen (this is something they should be doing anyway if they are going to ask him to leave!). This is something you should share with the school district - it may help them change their minds!
Having a child with autism in a private pre-school with no para is often very difficult on everyone. Even though the teacher was in special ed - did she ever teach kids with autism? Because there is a BIG difference between autism and other disabilities in terms of behaviors and how you take care of our kids. It sounds to me like no one knew how to handle him - and probably because he did so well any other time they saw him, they wrongfully reassured you that they would be fine.
I am glad you have an eval coming up soon - I hope it goes well. I wonder if the teachers would be willing to videotape some of the behavior (even for a minute or two) so the district could see it?
Micki, that would be a great idea! I will definately ask them about that tomorrow thanx! I think they would do that too.
Thankyou everyone for listening to me, I feel alot better! Everyone had so much great advice to give!
An eval is NOT an IEP. In fact, is this just a meeting? Because we had a meeting where we went over everything that ds would be evaluated on. Then they had 45 days to DO The evaluation and prepare a report, then give us the results at another meeting. After that, we scheduled an IEP meeting. Ours didn't go quite that smoothly, we had to fight to get him qualified for services - which is a long story. I won't hijack this thread!
Anyway, it will not be quite as quick as you think to get the IEP - but this is not something you necessarily want rushed. I know you want him in preschool. I wonder if it is possible for you to hire an aide to go with him? I know it will be expensive, but hopefully you will be able to discontinue the aide once you get him an IEP.
Our dev ped was VERY helpful in getting ds services. He wrote a scathing letter in his report basically saying the school should be ASHAMED to not give him services, given the scores he had given. The dev ped privately told me that he knew the scores were way over-inflated as my ds was nowhere near as severe as his scores showed (the school psych was totally incompetent) - but I digress!
Anyway, enlist EVERYONE you can to write letters, videotape, etc. so that they are well aware of your son's issues!
Good luck and big hugs - sorry the day didn't go as you had hoped. And, give your ds a big hug too - it was obviously a very stressful day for him too!
I will ask them about documenting and video taping as well snoopywoman, thanks for the advice. Any help from the preschool would greatly help in deciding whether he qualifies for special education with the public school here because they are so strict. I dont think she has experience with autism, she never mentioned it and seemed pretty frazzeled when I picked him up. Thanks!
I really wanted to call his dev. ped. because at the app. he said preschool should be interesting to see how he does. I would really like if he wrote a letter along with his report im supposed to be getting for me to give the school? He said on the report he put at risk for autism because DDD will probably deny him because he has aspbergers and not classic autism so I think he would do that for him.
I can check how much an aide costs, that would help him out alot. Do you know the average cost to hire them? Or where to go to find one? His actual eval with the school is on the 7th. Thanks so much!
Just keep fighting and don't give up. If they are really resistant, and fight you every step of the way - ask for an independent educational evaluation IN WRITING. This got me a meeting with the director of special ed and the whole team, in which they decided to do further testing and eventually qualifed ds on an override. And then I STILL had to fight to get any actual services - they were only going to give him 10 minutes a week of indirect observation/support from an SE teacher (for his mainstream preschool) at first! That's when I got the dev ped involved and after that - well, miraculously we got 2 afternoons a week of ECSE, including group speech (social skills) and OT!
Not every school district is like that and I am hoping our new one is much better (I have been told it is). It is SO hard to keep on fighting - you have enough to deal with in your own house! But keep remembering this is better for your whole family, especially your son, if you keep fighting. It will be better in the long run.
Good luck and keep us posted!
tzoya,
From what I read - she has an eval scheduled already with the school. And I agree - I would be surprised if services were denied!
Good luck 143Hayden - keep us posted!
Elle- Im glad you got your daughter into a good program that can meet all her needs. Im going to talk to his teachers and director tomorrow and see what they can do to help him and also if they can get in touch with the school district to help us out any way getting services.
Tzoya- I have an eval comming up on the 7th for hayden so hopefully he qualifies for something.
Snoopywoman- I was and am skeptical about him qualifying just because Ive seen how they do theyr screenings but if hes as uncontrollable as theyr telling me, which I do believe, he should qualify. Im def. going to see if his preschool can get involved in helping us to get him services thru the public school. The director stressed while talking to me that she really thinks that would be best so I think they will be more than willing to help. And Im very glad you got what you needed for your son and won out in the end! I guess some schools are easier and some fight you at every turn!
Thanks everyone!
Just wanted to add--I'm pretty sure, unless of course this varies by state, but here in WI Mason qualified for preschool based solely on his seizures--it was under OHI-other health impairment...meaning they took him because of his seizures because a private school might not have the qualifications to handle this...so I'm thinking even if he wouldn't qualify for speech or OT etc he should still qualify for the public school and an IEP, which then you could include some behavior things, like the picture schedule, sensory breaks, etc.
Is this eval on the 7th with the public school? I'm sure you already posted this, but I probably missed it.
In the meantime if you are able to--maybe ask the private school if you could stay with Hayden for a few days...I had to do this with Mason way back when...I was worried it might cause dependence on his part, but he actually transitioned quite well within a couple of weeks. Not a permanent solution, but something to at least keep him from HATING school, until he gets the proper placement.
Edited: I just found the post that says this eval is with the public school so ignore that question, lol...just go in and tell them about Hayden's seizures and use the words OHI and see if that gets anything out of them!
Blessings,
You got some great advice. We use to live in Washington DC and their evaluation process was similiar to yours, for the school to qualify a child as autistic they had to be severe. Nikolas smiled once in the 30 min eval so they told me they weren't autistic. They were more than 50% delayed across the board and that is the only way they qualified for special ed. But the teacher had no ASD experience, neither did the special ed teacher when we moved to Florida, and I agree, being special ed does NOT mean they can work with autistic children. It was a total disaster! We spent all summer undoing what the special ed teacher did. That they do not have a picture schedule to let him know what it happening would send alarm bells off in my head that they don't have experience with this and can't handle it. I hope you get a placement with the public school and can get him in a more appropriate classroom. Good luck!
I never realized how hyper my son is! It pretty much blew my mind! Its not like I havnt seen him like this I have and hes hyper alot of the time but I didnt realize how abnormal it was. AAAAALL the children were so well behaved (for the most part anyway) and of course some of them had their moments but hayden was a non stop! The first thing in the morning he wouldnt sit down then when all the kids were playing playdoh he played for MAYBE a minute then went off doing his own thing twirling his arms and legs around like a rag doll and just wasnt interested with what they were doing. He couldnt follow the simplest directions without being told hundreds of times or shown, hed interrupt the teacher talking, get out of his seat, go get into toys when he wasnt supposed to, once again tumble and twirl in the middle of circle time (altho not as bad as yesterday), he was sticking tongue at this little girl and sticking his face all up in her grill! He wanted to do what he wanted to do most of the time but with some redirection most of the time he would comply only to be distracted by something else a little while later. He actually did raise his hand once and his teacher let him go get a drink from the fountain next so I was very proud of him I couldnt believe it from how distracted he was!!!
O ya duh, I called the public special education and told them whats going on and if someone can come and see his behavior to document it or could I catch some of that on video tape for them? They said yes anything extra id like to give them that would help determine eligibility I can do. But she said that theyl ask me alot of questions that when answered honestly will determine his placement, if any. SHe seems like a really nice lady and when I met with her the first time she told me he seemed like he should qualify for something but I know shes not the one who determines anything anyway! And IEPs after the evaluation.
I called his dev. pediatrician and his secretary said hel call me to discuss what I want him to write in his letter for the school but he hasnt called so Ill have to call him back. Im pretty sure hel help no problem.
Niki, the director told me yesterday, i forgot that based on his seizures alone he should qualify for services and I will definately look that one up and OHI up, thanks! Im totally getting that book tzoya recommended as well, its sounds really good and I do need it! When is your birthday? I hope you have a great one when it comes along
Shelly, yesterday they really sounded like they were throwing thier hands up and thats what really stressed me out but this morning when I met with them it seemed they had some new found courage!
Snoopywoman, 10 minutes a week?! Are they crazy? They might as well not do anything, thats insane! Im glad you got things settled and got all that he needed, sounds like you really had to push, im glad you guys won out in the end.
Linda, Im glad your sons still qualified for some help and that is really amazing that they would say theyr not autistic enough because your son smiled! They try everything and use anything they can to deny services dont they? I would be fuming as well! His teacher dosnt have any experience with autism im pretty sure because during recess time she was telling me how she was reading the papers I had given to her before class started and how shes trying to apply it to him and she said it does help some. So I know she obviously dosnt have experience, she probably thought it would be a peice of cake but realized how different they are!
The school still thinks hed do better if he qualified thru the public school but I dont think theyr are so bent on washing thier hands of him and seemed to really be brainstorming with me during the meeting. The director was looking all over her office for a squishy stress ball she had for him to hold onto during circle time. She said I can get them at walgreens so im going to stock up. Ive heard it works good with some kids, I personally dont think it will work but ill give it a try of course, hell might really like it. I think Im pretty much finished, sorry for those of you who fell asleep during my novel!
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