Frusterated!!! I cant figure her out... | Autism PDD

You should ask (in writing) for her pragmatic-semantic language to be checked. I'd ask for that as well as an observation of social interaction and play skills. I would also ask that her voice be assessed in conversation and eye contact as well as picking up others gestures and nonverbal signals as well as showing gestures herself. With more than just labelling tasks.

The E&R test Suzie just had consisted of mostly pointing and naming single objects. Like "point to the red puppy", "point to the blue puppy" or name the picture "tent", "chair". There were no mutlifaceted or open questions. Her articulation and voice was assessed by these single answers and not when trying to explain or answer open questions when she mumbles and makes no sense.

A child with semantic issues can also understand what many concrete words mean like "cup" "chair" but can have difficulty understanding abstract words like "curious" or "embarassed" etc. Eventhough they have good "normal" semantics for single concrete words they can have problems also understanding phrases and sentences and understanding where the priority is in the sentence.

Kids with ASD can have good speech but have poor communication.

It sounds like your school SLP just tested speech.

Pragmatics are generally checked using TOPL as well as observation with peers

Pragmatics skills include:

knowing that you have to answer when a question has been asked;
being able to participate in a conversation by taking it in turns with the other speaker;
the ability to notice and respond to the non-verbal aspects of language (reacting appropriately to the other person's body language and 'mood', as well as their words);
awareness that you have to introduce a topic of conversation in order for the listener to fully understand;
knowing which words or what sort of sentence-type to use when initiating a conversation or responding to something someone has said;
the ability to maintain a topic (or change topic appropriately, or 'interrupt' politely);
the ability to maintain appropriate eye-contact (not too much staring, and not too much looking away) during a conversation; and
the ability to distinguish how to talk and behave towards different communicative partners (formal with some, informal with others).

Everyday when I pick up my dd from school I ask her how her day went. She ALWAYS says "good." I am thinking that school is great and she really enjoys it...

Well, tonight my inlaws come over and she is super excited about telling them that she is in Kindergarten now. She pulls out all of her work and shows them everything but then she mentions a little girl that is mean to her. This is the first time I ever hear about it.

She says the little girl is mean to her. So I ask her how...all she keeps saying is that she is mean. No details, nothing. She cant tell me what is going on by herself. This communication problem has me so frusterated. I mean, at 5 years old she should be able to tell me. Please dont get me wrong, I am not frusterated at "her" its the situation. EVERYONE tells me she is fine. I cant even get a dx of anything. This is not just me, I am NOT overreacting. I am so pissed off right now. I just want to know what happened. All I have so far is that she was called stupid, she was kicked and that is it. And, that is after me asking question after question trying to get information. The rest of our conversation was her stammering and repeating herself that the little girl is "mean."

How do you pull information out of you kids? How can I get her to find the words to explain something?

Also, she was just tested by the school district for speech services (again) and she was denied. Her expressive and receptive language is "normal." If she has the vocab, why cant she use it????

Here are some resources that might be helpful.

Various examples of communication sheets for the teacher to fill out, so you are less dependent on your daughter for information about her day:

http://www.autism-pdd.net/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16361&am p;KW=communication+sheets

This is a sheet for your child, where she can circle or point to activities she did that day, and point to smilies/frownies to show how she felt about them. Can be used as a springboard for conversation.

http://www.setbc.org/setbc/communication/frame_pictureset.ht ml?refpage=/pictureset/resource.aspx?id=268

[QUOTE=alwaysworried2]How do you pull information out of you kids? How can I get her to find the words to explain something? [/QUOTE]

I agree on the semnatic-pragmatic advice and go to a specialist if necessary to get services!

Your question there ... is my BIGGEST frustration with T! Get in touch with the teacehrs and probe and probe and PROBE for info!!! I hate doing it, I know they are busy, but you must.

See if the teacher will give you more feedback in the form of notes on papers, or a daily checksheet ... SOMEthing!

Shell the role play idea is WONDERFUL!!!

foxl39322.3085069444I have the same problem with my five year old son. I get very frustrated to trying to find things out about his day. He gets frustrated also, just as I imagine your daughter does too. After questioning him for a few minutes and not getting very far, he will just emphatically tell me "No! I'm done talking!" You can tell it is just exhausting for his brain to have to think that hard on how to communicate what he wants to say. So all I can do is be done when he's done and if I am really worried about something in particular I go to the teacher. When they come out and say just enough to worry you, like about the girl being mean it can be very frustrating. "One time my son told me last year that "Ms. Jackson put me in her yellow car! It was yellow! Yeah! Her car is yellow! And----The boy kicked me!" It took me forever to get to the bottom of that, but what I figure out was that Ms. Jackson was the teachers aide and they were outside playing and she went to her car for something. Her car is yellow. When she got back she had to get on to one of my son's classmates because he was kicking dirt on Daniel. And that was it! By the way, my son is rated autistic by the school system, but the ped neuro dev doc advised that he is not autistic, but communcative disordered. I agree with the school. My daughter also has some issues and I feel she is on the spectrum and I am really having a hard time with that too. So I understand the frustration of the diagnosis issue as well. However, I tell people he is autistic because I know in my heart he is autistic (probably aspergers) and we are also seeking additional evaluations.

I had a print out for Sarah that had her tell me 3 things that happened in her day..if I got unclear answers regarding mean kids I always talked to her teacher either in person or email to get the full story. The teacher have a responsibility to keep your child safe so having open communicaton is very important:)

Good luck!

I know how tough it is to try and drag answers out of my boys. I seem to get better answers if there are some related visuals (like pictures of classmates, or asking while we're physically at school). I also have very good luck asking: "What was the best part of school today?" "What was the worst part of school today?" I ask the best/worst question about events and outings, too. I may not get a long, detailed answer, but asking best/worst questions seems to get to the crux of the matter.

Here's a checklist for the pragmatic use of language:

http://dlserver.samford.edu/eportfolio/Portfolios/ElaineThag ard/adaptive_Problem_Solving/checklist_for_SocioPragmatic_La nguage_Behaviors.pdf - checklist for the pragmatic use of language.

Here are checklists for Aspergers (autism without language delay):

http://www.udel.edu/bkirby/asperger/aspergerscaleAttwood.htm l - Australian Scale for Asperger Syndrome, for primary school children

Diagnostic checklists from the book "Parenting Your Asperger Child":

http://printables.familyeducation.com/forms-and-charts/skill -builder/51750.html - Part 1, Difficulty with Reciprocal Social Interactions

http://printables.familyeducation.com/forms-and-charts/skill -builder/51751.html - Part 2, Impairments in Language Skills

http://printables.familyeducation.com/forms-and-charts/skill -builder/51755.html - Part 3, Sensory Sensitivities

http://printables.familyeducation.com/forms-and-charts/skill -builder/51752.html - Part 4, Narrow range of interests and insistence on set routines

http://printables.familyeducation.com/forms-and-charts/skill -builder/51754.html - Part 5 - Cognitive Issues (including mind-blindness)

Good luck with everything.

role play works with my children

get two dolls and play on your own with them pretend you are children at school (while she can see you)

you play with both dolls be nice at first

then say things like

i dont like you(to a doll)

then with the other doll say

why are you mean

she may come up and takeover the role of one of the dolls

shell

my children usally act out what has happened at school.

make a game of it

ask her the name sof people in her class and say

what does katie like to do what does john like to do and so on

when you get to the child who is mean

she will either clam up,walk away

or say she is mean when the name is mentioned

at least you will know who to ask about

I share your frustration. My ds had a pretty bad year last year in school
and I'd hear from everyone that he would be crying, anxious und not
participating but all I her from him was 'good'. Sometime a week later he
would tell me stuff - it was like a time delay. And the times he told me
'the boy in the red shirt was mean'. I would go to class and observe and
at times kids would do something perfectly nice and he'd interpret it as
'mean'. Really the big big issue was that he could not interpret all the
senory input and he'd become overwhelmed and a kid asking him to play
tag would be interpreted as 'mean' while a kid giving him the cold
shoulder would not register at all.

I am not saying your dd is as overwhelmed as my son was but maybe you
could volunteer here or there to see how she is doing. You could
approach the teacher telling her that you are concerned about how your
dd is doing and connecting with others and if she would mind e-mailing
you once a week about how she is doing. Also a question like 'how is it
going' is about as broad as it gets and too broad for a kid already
overwhelmed. Break the answer down in concret steps. In my experience
my son starts interpreting people as mean when he is overwhelmed and
that is not necessarily what is happening. Does anyone know where I can find what the appropriate pragmatic skill level is for a preschool age child? I Googled it but couldn't find anything.

Oh micki your son, my daughter!

Especially on the "MEAN," but also the time-delay!

Sometimes I wish I could shadow her, FT, to know just what is happening though! I just got an email from T's SpEd teacher and she seems VERY receptive to email! I hope it continues ...

Abbytherabbit --

The developmental milestone checklists from the CDC list some social and language skills connected with pragmatics. Here's the link for age 3:

http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/autism/actearly/milestones_3years. html

Hope that helps a little.