Nice article on discipline | Autism PDD

http://www.wrightslaw.com/advoc/ltrs/discipline.Bobbie.htmThanks, This one is a keeper - I printed it!

I was punished alot and often during the summer when school was out. Dont get me wrong at school i would miss-behave and be punished their and at home. All I wanted was to be outside or do what I wanted inside but when i messed up that would be taken away (including tv and video games). The older I got, the longer the punishments became. When I was 16-17 I got learners permit and licsince. When I did something bad (I was not allowed to drive with others, they felt I was to easily distracted, they proved me right years later when I crashed into a curb nearly missing a telephone poll, I had never taken a carload of ppl to work b4, and had a hard time with the new routine and the loudness, resulting in 2 blown tires) Anyways, back to the subject that hopefully wont result in rant... They took away the keys to the van I used (my parents). That worked well.

It was important that I understood why I was being punished, and in the short term the punishments worked, problem was I tended to forget (very impulsive when younger) and also, I would mess up while on punishment due to bordom, so that made things worse.

Punishment is nessissary for many kids, I was definatly 1 of them, and the bahavors got worse rather then better gradually between 7-17, not that I was a bad kid, just hyper, rebelled alot and had a hard time with boundrues and being appropriate. I would say that its good not to over do it, maby even cut some slack for good behavior, because I know at least once I had to serve a full week inside during the summer, and I was not allowed to stay home alone (on weekends I had that as a privlage starting at age 14 when my parents went shopping, i always HATED this and desired to stay home alone) this gave me a kinda feeling like I had nothing to loose, and even, and yes.. before I say it I realize what a bad thing this was... so here it is... I packed some important stuff and while still only having a learners permit I took off with the van planning on hiding it in the woods on some dirt trail, i was going to live in it for a while, dumb huh?? (for some reason they had to leave, me and my sis were alone, i was confined to the house). I was gone for an hr i needed to think, then realized suddenly that this was the single worse thing I have EVER done, and drove home to face the music, lucky I never served more time, they still were not home, my sis was but was bribed easy.

I think its important, no matter how hard it is, during the punishment maby spend a litte time talking to your kid, my parents just yelled, said I was wrong and gave me my punishment. I feel had they done it slightly different (IE incentives to behave while serving my time, maby spending time with me while locked in my room, really talk to me, make me understand what I did and why I should not do this). I got punished many times for the same stuff (being late for curfew, bad at school) and things could have been much different, but they always got to angrey (as did I) and nothing was acomplished and history often repeated itself because I simply was not awair how my behavior affected them, and others.Read it. I think those 4 questions would help too. When woodsman said "really talk to me, make me understand what I did and why I should not do this" I was wondering if those 4 questions Norwaymom quoted would help.I just read this. Pretty good advice. Thanks

Wow, that was inspiring. I don't think I could be quite so authoritarian in my parenting style, but I thought the advice at the end was worth its weight in gold. Don't ask your kids "why?" when they screw up.

"Ask these four questions instead:

What did you do?
What are you going to do about it?
To ensure that this does not happen again, what should we do to you now?
If this does happen again, despite your good intentions now, how much more severe shall the punishment be next time?"

Thanks for sharing the link.