What do you do?????? | Autism PDD

Would you consider her impulsive?  I know Gabe is very impulsive.  And he does alot of things for effect.  Also I tell people you can tell Gabe not to do something 500 times and he will do it 501 times.  Is she on any meds or receiving any therapy?  Sounds like she has self injurious type behaviours.  And unfortunately what works on Gabe one day won't work on him the next.

Tammy

Logyn is on Fluvoxamine (If I spelled it right) or Luvox. And yes, she is impulsive....you never know what she might say or do from one minute to the next. I have been at the mall looking at school clothes only to look down and there she is....butt naked from the waist down and trying to stand on her head! HA! I either want to laugh or cry.

Yes, she has therapy through school and has gone to therapy outside of school. Thank God school is starting back up on Monday. She is pretty good at school...she loves school. What do you do for disipline?

I take away something that really means something to Gabe.  Like his beyblades or transformer energon toys.  I know at school they have him on a reward type system.  It is based on cards with colors.  If he stays on the blue card all day he gets a sticker at the end of the day.  He has another card his stickers go on.  After he fills one card, which has 10 stickers on it, he can get a prize.  At home I have a calendar where he can earn a sticker every four hours.  If he is good during those four hours, he gets a sticker.  At the end of the week he can either go up to the dollar store and get a toy or use it towards a bigger toy. 

I know over this summer he almost got hit by a car, being spiteful there.  He left the pca up at Target.  He decided to walk home, all eight blocks, all by himself.  He was not happy when I said no Target for three months.  He said "I looked before I crossed the street, three times!!!".  That is good that he looked before crossing the street.  But that wasn't the point.  He crossed some very busy intersections.  And these drivers here, lol, you wonder if they look at all.  I wanted to get the point home to him that that behaviour was not acceptable.  Now that hasn't kept him from asking to go to Target but I remind him his three months isn't up yet. 

Gabe is on clonidine, depakote sprinkles , concerta, melatonin (for sleep), albuterol for his asthma during the day, and flovent for his asthma at night.  I always tell people when talking to Gabe to keep it short, simple, and straight to the point.

Tammy

What are all the meds for? (if you don't mind me asking?)....I have never heard of Melatonin. My daughter never sleeps. When I amm desperate I give her Benedryl....that is unless she doesn't throw it back up. She gag reflex with her meds now. One thing after another.....

The trip to Target sounds scary! I would have died. Right now Logyn won't even walk to another room by herself much less walk to Target. But that could change tomorrow! HA!

You sound like you can stick to your guns when it comes to disipline. I can most of the time, but then dad will give in behind my back. And then that cause's us to argue.....did I mention chaos? HA! Maybe if he read this site.....I can still hope.....thanks for your replies!!!!!

Jerri

Okay we will start with the melatonin, lol.  It is an over the counter med that helps you fall asleep, won't keep you asleep though.   The clonidine is for his hyperactivity, but right now it is only working three hours.  So the concerta works over 12 hours to help keep him calm.  Some days it works some days it doesn't.  He has mania like episodes, my brother has bipolar, so the depakote is used to see if it levels out his moods any.  The albuterol is used for his asthma, the school thinks he has exercise induced asthma.  The flovent is also used for his asthma because the lung specialist believes since he has minor asthma, this might cure it.  He didn't say how I would get him to take it though, lol.

Now the thing with hubby, yeah that is not good.  I also have that problem with the pca's.  And I have to tell them from the get go "you are not his buddy, you are here to do a job and to be the adult."

Tammy

The only thing I can say is that if you are at a restaurant and she wants tea, order her tea.  If she wants a coke when the tea comes, say, "I know you do sweetie, now drink your tea."  If she tantrums, you simply leave.  She can beg, plead, scream and sign her life away in blood she'll be good but you do not even look back.  This will happen once, maybe twice and she'll get the clear message you order what you want the first time and if you want to sit there, you sit nicely. 

I've had to go through similar scenarios with my daughter and her explosive behaviors only lasted so long.  Don't apologize, don't rationalize, and for god's sake do NOT even TRY to reason with them.  They do not want long explanations...they just want an adult to make a solid decision and stand on it. 

Screaming...ignore it.  If she does it in your face, you put on your best Paxil smile and keep doing what you are doing.  Do not reinforce her bad behavior with any attention whatsoever.   when she is quiet and settled down, THEN give her attention...tell her what a wonderful job she's doing and you're so proud of her for being quiet. 

Kids will do whatever it takes to get attention - even if it's bad attention - so, make sure the ONLY time you give her positive reinforcements is when she's behaving properly. 

If she hits, you immediately take something away from her that she loves.  Put it high where she can see it and wants it, but can't have it.  You walk away and say, "I know you want your xyz toy, but we'll try harder next time."  If she can go ONE time w/out hitting or scratching, you praise her to high heavens. 

What happens is that she will do whatever it takes to get the positive reinforcements and bad behaviors will stop if they don't work.  The key is you have to make them stop working. 

The hitting of the dad is completely unacceptable.  What should happen is that you both totally ignore her.  Walk past her, engage in something else, do not talk to her or acknowledge her.  It's not mean, you will only have to do this a couple times.  When she comes up and talks in a big girl voice and is polite, you praise her again!  Put on your fake smile, take a deep breath and do it.  It won't take long before she realizes that hitting gets her nowhere - not even a hello, look, nod...NOTHING.  IGNORE THE BAD BEHAVIOR.  REWARD THE GOOD BEHAVIOR.

ahhh I love Dr. Phil.

Melanie

I have said that a thousand times!!! It's like my husband is her playmate and I am the bad guy. I get sooo tired of it. I have talked until I am blue in the face. I just don't know what else to do....he will say that he will do better and then when Logyn starts screaming...well, that's the end of that! If I "make" him stay on course he will, but I have to work nights and I am sure she gets away with murder. He just wants quiet so that he can cope. But, like I said...he is Aspergers too and will NOT seek help or if I get him to the doc he will take meds for a week and then say that there is nothing wrong with him. *sigh*......But, I am not a quitter......I will keep trying.

I am going to print all of your meds down and see what Logyn's doc thinks...thanks!!!!!!

Jerri

I have done that with Gabe in a restaurant and , considering he is very impulsive, he doesn't get it.  Some behaviours I have learned to ignore.  But going out in front of a car because he is doing that for effect, I will never, ever ignore that.

Tammy

Tabitha,

nonono I would never suggest that!  You always have to have your child's safety in mind first and foremost!  I'm sorry if what I said indicated otherwise.  I was mostly referring to behaviors that are for attention.  I'm sorry!!!

Melanie

Keep in mind with kids that are very impulsive, some safety issues they will do for effect.  Gabe has a fascination with fire.  It comes and goes.  When it gets to be where he even attempts to play with matches or the stove or whatever I will show him pictures from the fire he started.  Sometimes it works then other times he will attempt to play with matches a week later.  You never know what will work with an impulsive child.

Tammy

Melanie,

I just printed your reply and I will be soon tacking it on to my husbands forehead and then I will give him a mirror.....

I have watched Dr. Phil say those very same words. I have tried, but I have never stuck to my guns....I guess because the old hubby can't stick to his and then I feel overwhelmed or I just want to give up. I feel better.....Thank you and Tammy for all of your support!!!! Okay, I am off to find the staple gun!!!! HA!

Jerri

theres a thing here in australia called respite care, your kid goes away with a carer for the day or weekend  so the parents can get a break i knwo a lady who had a son who had adhd odd turettes and some other things so he was genrally a pretty nasty child to get along with but an angel for the carer. perhaps this is an option for you as well i dont knwo if they run programs liek that in your area, i live in australia so maybe if you ask around perhaps there is a program similar??

i know it doesnt work with all children and perhaps least with autistic children but maybe time out?? i know it sounds ludacris (sp?) but its worth a shot.. tell logyn that if she keeps throwing a tantrum she can stay in there till daddy gets home or however long you think is necessarry for you to calm her down.. ?

Thanks Jessismum,

Now that you mention it....there is respite care here, but if I remember right you had to take the child THERE...wherever there is and at the time she was so little I just couldn't. Thanks for reminding me...I will call MHMR and they can tell me how to find them! Good idea!

Jerri

This is a pretty great site.  I know when my kids were diagnosed, the internet was still a new thing.  For the average consumer that is.  CNN was offering internet service via Compuserve on 3 1/2 inch diskettes for I think it was 29.95 a month.  Shows how long ago that was, lol.

Tammy

Thanks guys for all the support! You all know what I am going through and it is so helpful to hear all you have to say...I cannot begin to tell you how thankful I am. I just got back from a friends house...a much needed break...I have known her since 4th grade (31 years) and although she really doesn't understand, she knows exactly what I need when I go over there! Dump cake and dancing until I can't breathe! HA! She just puts on the music and won't take "No" for an answer...love her to death!

Anyway, thank you all for the idea's....I am going to be more consistent and make sure my husband is as well. I showed him some of your replies and he really wants to make it work. It's like we know what to do....Just do it!!!!

Thank you all again!!! I am so glad that I have found you all!!!!!!!!!!!

Jerri

Thanks Mom2carlo!!

I appreciate the Welcome...thanks for the list of meds...I am researching

Jerri

MsSteelersFan,

Logyn's doctor recommended the Luvox because of her anxieties and depression. She was having nightmares at night and she was anxious about everything. Obsessive about everything. We were hoping that the drug would help, but to tell you the truth, I don't see that much of a difference except for the nightmares. Although her teachers at school can tell the difference. Once, she got really sick with vomiting and such. She couldn't take her meds for more than a week. The school called and wanted her back on them...they could tell the difference after she resumed school.

And I suspect Aspergers because she is so high functioning. If you were to see her in public you would just think she was spoiled. She has always been verbal, but with some echolalia. She also talks with questions sometimes. "Did I brush my hair?" "Am I being good today?" We are working on this. It's weird, she usually talks in questions after being praised or when she is expecting praise.

Also, my husband is very high fuctioning (I associate this with Aspergers) and he is VERY smart. But, put him in social situations where he has to mingle with strangers and you never know what he might say or do. He has offended most of my friends without even trying! HA! We have been married for 12 years now and he is getting so much better. But, he has no patience and can get frustrated at the drop of a hat. He has fears...many fears....animals, germs, meds, driving etc...He is like the guy you meet and you think..."Okay, he was nice enough, but he seemed a little off".....there is more, but I am so used to him by now.....it seems almost "normal" living with him now! HA!

My husbands mother has "issues" as well....guessing OCD....she will clean and clean and clean.....she will pick something (a speck of dirt) off the floor, she will then wash her hands and then she will put on lotion....over and over and over...I have seen her do this thousands of times. She is also very smart, but socially she has no friends. Her husband does everything with her. My husband has 1 friend that he never see's and we do everything together or with my friends. And then there is my husbands grandfather.....he self medicates with beer. I have seen him act odd as well....but with more aggression.

All of the adults in his family on his mother's side and her other adult children (and their children) all have chacteristics of Autism. Some worse than others. Mostly OCD and anxiety. You should see us all together on family vacations. I usually have to have tons of prozac or many margarita's just to get through it all! HA! Lord help us if something is dirty or not just right. We have had to rent a total new house (vacation) because the mini blinds were filthy. My inlaws thinking is that if those are dirty what else could be dirty?

Anyway,

I thought that these people, since they were all so smart and high fuctioning that they were aspergers. My husband is a Civil Engineer, his sister is a teacher and their mother worked her way up to Secretary to the President at their local college.

Jerri

Jerri I don't think controlling behavior is a characteristic of autism, but I know many kids on the spectrum have other disorders that go with their asd diagnosis... I'm certainly no dr (just a parent) but I wonder if you have checked into seeing a psychologist / psychiatrist for her specifically for help in dealing with the behaviors.

Question have you looked into behavioral disorders? She sounds manipulative,.... maybe ODD?  But again I am NOT A DR.  http://www.chclibrary.org/micromed/00058960.html

Symptoms include a pattern of negative, hostile, and defiant behavior lasting at least six months. During this time four or more specific behaviors must be present. These behaviors include the child who:

• Often loses his/her temper
• Often argues with adults
• Often actively defies or refuses to comply with adults' requests or rules
• Often deliberately annoys people
• Often blames others for his/her mistakes or misbehavior
• Is often touchy or easily annoyed by others
• Is often angry and resentful
• Is often spiteful or vindictive
• Misbehaves
• Swears or uses obscene language
• Has a low opinion of him/herself.

Additional problems may be present, including:

• Learning problems
• A depressed mood
• Hyperactivity (although attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder must be ruled out)
• Substance abuse or dependence
• Dramatic and erratic behavior

I know here there are three different types of respite services.  In home, in center, and overnight.   There is also a five year waiting list on overnight respite services here.

Tammy

Jessismum.... I am sure you have helped more than one person People read posts and take that advice sometimes because it applies to their situation... Sometimes just knowing someone is in an extremely similar situation is help. So just know your being here is support to others.

Jerri... Agreed... CONSISTENCY is key. Our kids have to be taught how to act and react... they need routine and predictability because they don't know approperate from inapproperate and so forth. Many kids memorize social situations, behaviors and so on, just like they memorize speech..... if you and her father aren't consistent she will be sent mixed signals that she is trying to memorize which could cause her meltdowns.  Also any fluctuation in a tone in your voice / behavior can confuse her.