SCARED | Autism PDD
HI EVERYONE
I HAVEN'T BEEN TO THIS BOARD FOR REALLY LONG TIME. I JUST DIDN'T HAVE TIME. THIS TIME I REALLY NEEDS ADVICE.
I HAVE 3 KIDS AND ONE OF THEM IS PDD(9YR OLD).
MY HUSBAND LEFT US AND DOESN'T PAY US ANY LIVING EXPENSES. I AM NOT WORKING BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN STAY HOME MOM. MY HUSBAND WAS REALLY VERBALLY ABUSIVE TO ME ALL THE TIME, BUT I HAVE BEEN STAYED WITH HIM BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE ANYWHERE TO GO AND FOR KIDS.
I ONLY HAVE CHOICE TO GO TO SHELTER WITH MY KIDS. I AM WORRY ABOUT MY AUTISTIC SON BECAUSE HE IS NOT GOOD AT FOR CHANGES. I NEVER BEEN TO SHELTER IN MY LIFE. I AM REALLY SCARED..Tell him about the shelter in advance. Tell him what kinds of things to expect when you move there (if you're sure you're going to). That way he can get started on his processing ahead of time, and it might not be so much of an overload to him when he gets there. Give him time to "say his goodbyes" before you suddenly uproot. If you know how many days it will be before you go, that information will be useful to him as well.
Sorry for all this and good luck. 
hi hun
i think he will surprise you
make a socilal story i can do one for you if you like or use visual cards
predictability is paramount to children with asd and the more he knows the less likley he will be to have a full meltdown
let me know where you are and ill do some digging around we will see if there is an alternative to shelter
dont panic hun
worrying will not help i know its easier said than done but try
let me knoe where you are im more o top of the uk but i have some american members on my group who will information
shell
http://www.ywca.org/site/pp.asp?c=djISI6PIKpG&b=297541
http://www.helpusa.org/site/PageServer?pagename=HELP_Residen ces_ScatteredSite_site
http://www.loudoun.gov/housing/shelter.htm
http://www.njcitizenaction.org/emergencyhousing.html
http://www.aamc.org/uninsured/western.htm
http://www.redcross.org/news/co/homeless/020304dayton.html
http://www.shelterforthehomeless.org/
http://www.helpusa.org/site/PageServer?pagename=FHJC_Homepag e
im not sure where you are
Initially, try to sit down and write down the changes that are going to take place. Moves can vary considerably in scale from just moving house to moving house and area. The latter one obviously has more changes, not only the house but school, friends, local facilities, shops and will require a lot more preparation. Looking at all factors that will change is essential. For some individuals the larger more obvious changes will not affect them but the subtle or small changes will. For example, the fact that the front door is different or the light switches are positioned differently or they can hear strange noises. This information sheet intends to cover moving house rather than the larger scale move. However, the key points will apply to any change; they are awareness, preparation and involvement.
Informing of the move and preparation
As soon as you know that you are planning to move house, you need to ensure the person with an ASD has an understanding of the concept of moving house. Making information available to them in accessible format, either through visual supports, pictures, photos, objects, written or spoken word. When talking about moving try to be consistent with the language you use, reducing confusion and possible anxiety. As moving house involves a lot of uncertainty, the opportunity to inform and prepare can be hard. Gradually expose the person with an ASD to the idea by generally talking about moving, and then update them as and when you can with information and dates.
When you have decided on a house, explain the process and then create stages, breaking it down monthly, weekly until the day of the move. Some people with an ASD may enjoy knowing the process in detail from putting in an offer to exchange to completion. Key areas of difficulty for those people with an ASD are sequencing and understanding time. Using visual supports and calendars are just two ways of helping them to understand the concept of time. It is probably best to wait until you have a definite date before visually showing them. Also have a note underneath stating - things may change.
. I really hope you can find an alternative. I cant beleive it, so many mothers on here have had issues with their husbands, eather leaving them, miss treating them, the kids, being dead beat. I really dont understand it. Im not saying every guy is like that, but I have read that quite a few of you have this problem. I have also read many posts from decent, loving fathers who could never do something like this, and from couples who work through their problems to end up even stronger. Im very sorry for your situation, its far to common. Im not like many other guys, but I could never see being able to leave my wife and kids, just like that, suddenly, im done, and gone, off to do a new thing, while they struggle, its sad. These dead beat fathers/horrible husbands need a serious lesson from the good caring fathers who are on this board or are supportive, loving and caring to those mothers on this board, of course, being dead beat means they are not interested chances are.
I always rant... sorry. Find a way to make him pay $$$. He thinks he can just leave ya high and dry while he gets to do whatever he wants, he better think again, not only should you be receiving money to help your kids, but also, part living expences. He left you first, maby its time to hammer him!!!
I'm sorry I don't have any answers - just a great big hug!
I wonder if you are worried that if you tell your son in advance that your husband will get worse - more verbally abusive or possibly physically abusive? I mean you can't ask your son really to keep it secret - but if you are trying to keep it secret from your dh, then that is going to be hard for your son to do.
Are you moving to a women's shelter for women/families who have been abused? That is what I took your post as - which is much different than a homeless shelter. That indicates to me that you are scared of your husband and worried he will harm you in some way.
I would call the shelter and explain the situation beforehand and see if you can enlist their help in helping your son transition. They should have social workers available and hopefully one of them can help with this - but they might not have the most experience with autism so be prepared to do some education on the subject.
PLEASE keep us posted if you can and I will send lots of good thoughts and prayers your way!
One thing that you need to do is go to the Department of Health and Human Services in your area. And in your situation, you should be able to apply for Food Stamps and TANF (cash assistance) and Medicaid for you and your children. If you haven't already done it (and your son has been officially diagnosed) then you need to go to the Social Security Administration and apply for SSI for him. The SSI is a hell of a process, but if your son has an official diagnosis from a doctor, based on the fact that your husband has left and there is no income, he should be able to receive it. As of right now I think the SSI max. amount a month is 3.00. And you should also do what the other said, go to the Women's shelter and they should be able to assist you, the Salvation Army can sometimes assist you in paying your rent or one of your utility bills. I have been through the same situation that you are going through now, and I had to swallow my pride and do the things that I listed above. But as a mother, you will do WHAT EVER it takes to provide for your family. If you have anymore questions, please feel free to PM me.Good luck and I hope this information helps you.
Copyright Autism-PDD.net