feeling really low. how do YOU cope? | Autism PDD
I strtaed doing "The firm"
the other thing I do is try not to borrow trobles from the future - like not think too far ahead of all the possible problems
What payne's mom said.Also I try not to let my mind go there. I compartmentalize. However, when I do get to that low point which can last a day or two. I climb into bed and sleep it off and let hubby deal and get a taste. Usually afterwards I get a lot of " I appreciate all you do for this family" from hubby. and in the short term he'll pitch in a bit more which also gets me over the hump.
OH challenger, there isn't much in this world that i wouldn't give to be able to just climb into bed and sleep it off.
I will say though, I chose to be a stay at home mom, and when my dh gets home from work in the afternoons, he does jump right in and lend a helping hand. More than 90% of the time, he takes care of dinner. Our afternoons are the hardest by far due to that being the time of day that Sky's meds start to wear off. But at 5pm dh gives Sky his Risperdal and then at 6pm he gives him his Clonodine, and lets me just sit on the bed and read a book or what have you. But the weekends are a little different. LOL, dh gets to sleep as late as he wants (Skylar is up at 6 am,) but when he gets up and gets moving around, he is a HUGE help. He knows when I am reaching that breaking point and he will tell me "baby, sit down, rest, and let me take care of things, they are MY kids too". I can HONESTLY say, I am very lucky to have my husband, because without him, I would have been in the loony-bin a long long time ago.
big group hug!!!!
I totally can relate. I am a single mom and their Dad lives 4 states away. I have been trying so hard to keep calm when everything is hitting the fan at once. So many times I have felt guilty for yelling- that is what I use to try to keep my frustration in check. The thing that really gets me and I lose it is when he takes things out on my innocent daughter. He hits her and picks on her so much and I just can't bear it. He is 99lbs and she is 28lbs.
[QUOTE=Payne's Mom]I just tell myself - there is ALWAYS someone worse off than you. When we were at Payne's neurologist office one day when he was REALLY working hard to tick us off...regressing...the works. I saw a mom come out followed by her daughter in a quad. wheelchair on a vent w/ a feed tube (looked stoned - best description - sorry) and then a nurse pushing her...then the dad - devastating. Here I am miffed b/c my kid is acting up, yelling, etc...her's can't even walk, talk, feed itself...nothing. I felt so small. [/QUOTE]Yes, I feel that way when I walk through my sons school. There are alot of kids that are alot worse and my heart goes out to those parents because I know what I have gone through with Jake. When I feel low, I just look at his smile, cuddle him that makes me feel better or just completely get away for a few hours and get some time for myself. Working is good for me because it gives me that break to regroup for the night time. Jake is soo much better now, then we was 2 that for me, seeing improvement keeps me going to and gives me hope, I am mentally much better now then before he was getting the help he needed and also now that I understand what he needs and I myself help him as well.
How I cope.
I used to do yoga 5 times a week for 60 mins, it feels good but didn't loose a pound. I've been doing it for about 2 years. I stoped doing it this summer. I've been waiting on my hubby to buy me a treadmill.
But for stress I've been thinking about buying a punching bag. I'm not joking. I've got all the built up grrr feelings and can't get rid of it. Don't get me wrong, I would never get into a kick boxing ring.
I also know there are kids worse off than my kids.
One step at a time
Oh my! I have the same stress symptoms. I went to a physician who practices integrated medicine. I had really bad chest pains and worn down. I take some homeopathic remedies by prescription and st. john's wort. I also take a sleeping pill...they would get up 3x a night and I could never get back to sleep. I binge eat, have a cold sore right now arrgh! I have 20lb to lose too. Yoga is good, so is walking.
I stopped my medicines for awhile (the kids were sick for weeks) and then started taking them again. They give me a calmness, I did notice a difference.
It's something to try, I hadn't had a physical in awhile and found out I was anemic too. I'm glad the medical communtiy is providing this service. Ours is covered under insurance but not the medicines. i think I spend 75$ every 3 months.
thank you all who have responded so far. The support alone helps, let alone the advice. It is SOOOOO good to have people who truly understand what our days are like. Good God above, when I hear parents of NT say how hard their days are I just wanna scream! "honey, you have no clue how grateful you should be to have such a comparitively easy child!!"
Here's hoping for improvement. I set up the younger two with a video while I "got myself under control" and perhaps I will eventually do just that!
thanks for listening and caring,
kelly
I take Kelp supplements for my anemia....that is REALLY cheap...I hate the iron and iodine pills. YUCK! Yeah...we all have those days. I especially hate the "I want to feel free and exposed" days where neither of my boys will keep anything on their bottoms. I've tried everything from duct tape to home made onesies lol...nothing works on those days. I finally figured something out though. Instead of stressing over this because I'm afraid company will come over and call CPS on me, I just put them in longer shirts that cover everything and let them run free for a while. After about an hour I can usually put the pull ups back on with no more issues. I stressed over this problem for a month. I added several new gray hairs. Nothing seemed to be working and I was ready to lose it. Then things started to get better. I'm sending you some great big cyber hugs. It will get better.I just tell myself - there is ALWAYS someone worse off than you. When we were at Payne's neurologist office one day when he was REALLY working hard to tick us off...regressing...the works. I saw a mom come out followed by her daughter in a quad. wheelchair on a vent w/ a feed tube (looked stoned - best description - sorry) and then a nurse pushing her...then the dad - devastating. Here I am miffed b/c my kid is acting up, yelling, etc...her's can't even walk, talk, feed itself...nothing. I felt so small. I wish I could say that I don't yell...or get frustrated or angry...I'd be a liar if I did. When Payne goes to bed that is either mommy alone time to do whatever I want or mommy/daddy time to sit and talk or watch a movie/tv. What makes you happy - that doesn't involve your kids?? I had my dr put me on an anti-anxiety med b/c I am bipolar and I was freaking b/c I thought I was letting my kid and my family in general down ... it did help and I got Payne on a schedule, the dog on a schedule...the dh on a schedule...it's got to be much harder with 3 kids...OMG! I'm impressed.
We all get tired and worn down occasionally. When I find myself feeling like it's all just a grind between work, home, etc. I book a vacation. We try to take 2 family vacations a year (a summer one and then spring break), plus weekend trips as often as we can. This weekend we're going camping. The break from the routine works wonders for me and having a trip to look forward to always makes me happy.Unfortunately, I can't really offer any advice, just words of comfort...I have had those days too...and lately, more often than not...just try to hang in there, they will pass.
It's good that you are finding at least a little time to do something for Mommy (yoga, exercise, or whatever)...does your husband give you some help? I hope so that you can just get away for a few minutes now and again?
Maybe you should see if you qualify for respite? It's important to have some "down time" so you can reenergize...any family that might be willing to take over for a day?
Just thinking of solutions that I wish I had available to myself...
I am gonna be honest with you. Just dealing with the dx of Skylar's conditions, and the constant fight with him and his meltdowns, tantrums, aggression etc. caused me to have a nervous breakdown (literally). I started seeing a psychiatrist myself once a month (anxiety on top of MY non-medicated ADD, bad mixture). First he started me off on Xanax to help with my nerves. Started with 1mg-4 times a day, still wasn't enough, so the other day, he changed it to 2mg- 3 times a day and then added in my Adderall 20mg- twice a day. And I am here to tell you, I feel like I am 21 again (and I am 32) I am more calm, focused and level-headed than I have been in many years. I am happier and find that the everyday tasks and pressure is nothing to deal with compared to what it was.
Some people don't believe in using medication to help with problems. But at the point that I had reached, without it, I would be in the nut house by now.
Talk to you doctor and see what he says. Worked for me, just may do he same for you.
Good luck and keep us posted.
Also wanted to say - on the advise of my grandma - I started taking a vitamin supplement Q10 - helps convert food to energy and that put a little pep in my step - just don't take it later in the day ... or you'll have a hard time sleeping.
I have 3 boys - 7 yr old Aspie, 5 yr old ADD/oppositional defiant and a 3 yr old who is active and energetic. Every morning starts at top volume, with Paul verbal and physical stimming, the 3 yr old agitating him everytime he tried to retreat and regroup, and the 5 year old generally being a grump. (as an aside I even got up earlier so I could exercise and center myself before the onslaught)
This morning it wasn't even 7 am before I broke my resolution to not yell. With an Aspie acting like a violent, lashing out, growling dinosaur/alien/superhero while avoiding the school morning routine the 3 year old was whining that he needed more juice and why wasn't I doing it in a milisecond! The five year old was chasing my dd son around and agitating him further, eventually pushing him into the pantry and pinching his finger!
Now I feel the guilt of yelling at my dd to quit acting like a mean crazy wild whatever and go back to being my Paul! And to nagging him relentlessly trying to get ready for the shcool bus.
I have been 5 years on Paxil myself and I'm trying to add Omega 3's and yoga and exercise and calmness and Mommy mental health time and everything possible to cope.I'm failing and feeling lower than low. Top that off with trying to lose 20 pounds but unable to because of the stress eating and I'm just a general mess!! Even had to go for stress test because of chest pain, no doubt caused by this cauldron of stress that is my life.
My husband is sick of hearing this, out of advice and patience and is pretty stressed out himself. Does anybody out there have any advice for me? How do you all cope with this? Why must I always feel like I'm being called to be a superhuman?
Thank you for letting me vent and solicit advice. Any and all prayers are also most welcome :-)
Hopefully my little pity party will end soon and I'll find the strength to continue my day
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