My son never had ABA -- he didn't even get a diagnosis until 7 years old. But if ABA is all about answering questions, my son would have HATED it! Performing on demand, answering the "right" way, even catching all the words in the question is tough for a child with autism.
I don't think you're too soft at all. Continue paying attention to your son's emotions and stress-level. As you know, it's not easy to be him. If you're wondering what it might feel like to have autism, try this simulation:
http://www.jambav.com/jambav/flashy/jmx/index.php?source=rig htnav
Good luck with everything.
Parker has started potty training and it's really been stressing both of us. He whines every time I ask him to use the potty. I"ve been waking up dreading the day. He pees every time I put him on, so it's worth it, but it's so time consuming. Also, he's been really angry and frustrated with his aba theripts lately. I don't know it's because there is a new person starting, or because of the potty training or the new questions. I'm sure it's a mix of all three. They keep asking him, "why do you wash your hands?" and he is supposed to say, "because they're dirty". He freaks out every time and says, "my hands arnt dirty!". He hates dirty hands and that question really upsets him. He is also getting his first and last name mixed up. He doesn't know what to say when they ask him his first name now, he always says his last name. I'm so new to this, I'm sure some of these things take time but it's hard to see him so upset. He's been screaming at the table and trying to hit. It's really hard to watch. Am I being too soft? Is it normal for them to get really upset at questions sometimes or be confused? I asked them if maybe they could say, "why do people wash their hands" instead. I don't know that they thought it was a good idea. He knows why we wash our hands, he just hates talking about it. Any advice? I mostly just wanted to whine, lol.It's tough to begin an ABA program. And, I think it is normal for the kiddos to get upset. It usually gets better. It's a big change for him and a lot of demands are being placed on him. I think you are doing the right thing by talking to the therapists. If he doesn't want to talk about washing his hands, can they switch to a different but similar request. Why do you eat?, for example.
My son gets confussed sometimes and will answer the wrong thing that we know he knows. Sometimes he tells us the state he lives in when asked what city he lives in. They just keep working on it until it becomes second nature for them to answer. It works for us. My son has come so far in about 5 months of ABA/VB.
Programs are supposed to be individualized, so if that is a sensitive subject or not relavant to him, they should move to something else and come back later. They don't have to do the programs in a prescribed order.
Good luck.
I could of wrote your post a few years ago..potty time was hell and took at least a year before she went on her own..we still struggle with her not wanting to go but 3x a day
Pic 1~Why is sissy washing her face?(sister using washcloth on face)
pic 2~Because her face is dirty(pic of her sister with dirt all over her face)
Pic 1~Why is sissy crying? (sister pretending to cry)
Pic 2~Because she fell and hurt herself (sister on floor holding knee)
Pic 1~Why is mama lying down? ...
Pic 2~Because she is sleepy (mama yawning)
We did at least 20 pairs of these scenarios to teach Why/because in a way that didnt cause her to tantrum..then we would act them out without pics and she picked it up perfectly..We also got some flashcards from superduperpublications that were on a keyring for her to look at..she could read so it gave her more examples:)
This phase will pass..I kinda left it up to the therapists on the pottying..I was way too frustrated and not equiped to handle her screaming all day
HANG IN THERE!!
Adam never had ABA, but from mom that potty trained three kids, it is all consuming and that is many times why people wait for the kids to be what I call "almost trained" before they start. Keep up the potty training, you will be very happy when it is one. I have heard that NT kids can take several months to catch on.
Also, as far as confusing what is being said, Adam is almost 13 and has major problems with pragmatic language all of the time. Just yesterday I was trying to explain to him that the neighbors put their old pool out at the curb and the garbage men didn't take it. It was more of a comment than anything. It took him 15 minutes and 6 different explanations for him to understand what I was saying. Then the next day will come and he will be fine.