pre-k would be good for her. It really helped my daughter. My son will also be getting pre-k services when he turns 3.
I heard a phrase yesterday that I really liked reguarding special kiddos - Keep them in the village.
I say go for it. My 4 year old son who was just diagnosed early this summer, went into a twice a week program this summer. At first he had a few meltdowns, didn't want to sit in circle - etc. But by the second week he was participating and loving it. It ended a couple of weeks ago and he still asks to go back. He picked up the structure pretty quickly and really liked it. I think it help prepare him to go to preschool this fall - something I have always been afraid to put him until now.
Tricia
I have not read the other responses yet, but wanted to add my thoughts.....YES YES YES!! Do the Pre-k! If it it geared towards ASD then do it. You will be amazed, not only will it give you a break, but the most important thing is that your daughter will be getting educated, and be able to be around other children as well. I had the same issues when my son first started pre-k, we did home visits first, then 3 half days of pre-k and after a month, we graduated to 5 half days pre-k. I can say for my son, after the initial transition which didn't take as long or was as hard on him as I thought it would be, He loves it, and he has made huge progress is speech, playing, and transitioning.
In response to your other issue, you have alot going on right now at home which is causing stress on you, and a change in routine for your daughter. It is only natural that she would have issues at the change. She has to adapt to a visitation schedule with her father, new people in her home that don't normally live there, more noise, more smells, more stuff, and combined with the change in her routine, sure shes gonna have a meltdown, I'm sure you have probably felt like having(or have had one) yourself. Stress is hard on everyone and children are not exempt. ASD children have a heightened sense of sensory awareness as it is, so they react ten-fold. Try to stick with some schedule as much as you can for her sake. I always say the MAIN STAPLES, Wake-up, mealtimes, naptimes, bath times, and bedtimes SHOULD ALWAYS STRIVE TO BE AT THE SAME TIME EACH DAY. Allow yourself maybe a 10-15 minute "window" but strive to at least keep these main things the same. That way even if you have to run errands or whatever, your daughter will know that her main parts of the day are constant. If she watches DVD's, you can use these to transisiton, meaning, if she has a fav show in the am-use it during and after breakfast, one before lunch, before bed and so on. Also tell her, even if she doesn't seem to understand. "We're having breakfast, then we have to go to the store" let her know whats coming so she can mentally prepare. Let us know how you are doing!! And by all means, DO THE PRE-K!
I do not know why but your posts, especially juls' brought tears to my eyes. I want what is best for Ali. I have been trying to do everything I can and just have gotten so much resistance from everyone else who has reg. contact with Ali. I have been telling my mom (who watches Ali while I work) how important a strict routine is and she just does not see that that happens. I try to always do dinner at the same time, bath, and bed times the same. For bed time we have gotten into a strict routine and this which was often the worst/most difficult time of the day has become so nice and peaceful. We go up to bed (not long after bath time) BY 9:00 and talk about the day we had a little bit (best part, worst part, and what we will do tomorrow) read stories, then she has me tell the same mermaid (similar to The Little Mermaid) story every night but I am "allowed to pick a different name for the mermaid" as she says and then I tell Ali to close her eyes and try to go to sleep. She used to be jumping around and having tantrums and just crazy until 1-2am...in the last month or so I have gotten her to being peaceful and falling asleep between 10-11pm...so even though she is up later than most kids it is still MUCH BETTER!
I guess I am doing the right things...it is more my mom and Ali's dad who are not. I also think school will be good for Ali...though I am worried about her having a meltdown and banging her head on the concrete floor....I am hoping that will not happen. Heck, Ali might end up liking school better than any place else. I think that is why I loved school so much....my mom was the same with me (and my brother & sister) as she is with Ali, there was little structure & routine and expectations seemed to always change with her mood...school was predictable, there were other kids there and I loved learning. I think Ali may end up feeling the same way.
Anyway, thank you! It is a stressful time and a crowded home environment. I wish I could afford our (just Ali and I) own place right now. Anyway, thank you all for confirming my feelings and instinct that school is a great idea for Ali. I need to convince everyone else (mostly my mom who will be driving her and Ali's dad who objects) that school may be the best thing for her. And I am going to bug them to help get Ali into a more structured routine.
I am assuming you're talking about a therapeutic pre-K thru the school district where your child can get the appropriate therapies and behavioral approaches. That would be my pick. What has the school district said?Help me: Pre-K or no Pre-k?
Hello all! My sweetheart Ali is having a tough time. Her behaviors have worsened this summer. It seems that every time she seems like she really is making improvements, she regresses for a period. Also, right now is a time with changes and transitions and I think that has a lot to do with the worsening of her behaviors. My sister, who is chronically ill, has been staying with us most of the time with her baby & hubby (so my mom can help with my niece as my sister is too ill to do it all while her husband works). Ali's father has not been paying as much attention to her as he used to and sometimes the attention he does give is negative. As well, he has made a few changes to the visitation schedule (which all visits are supervised with me present in my house or his house due to previous suspected abuse) due to his changes in work schedule. Ali's dance class changed and now she is on a break from dance until mid September. I have been trying to get her to bed earlier to get her ready for school. Because I do not drive, we go to the grocery store and run errands with my mom who has not been keeping the same schedule (i.e. we go to the grocery store sometimes days other than our usual day or different times). Obviously there is less space in our house because of my sister's family being there as well. My mom does things differently than me and does not provide a lot of structure for Ali. Things are just kind of crazy in general right now. As well, I am waiting on getting Ali (9/17) into the neurologist for a re-evaluation as her ped. recommended. She thinks Ali falls more into SPD & ADHD with some emotional issues rather than her present SPD & HFA dx.
Sunday Ali had the worst meltdown ever. I thought we would end up at the hospital....she nearly knocked herself out banging her head on the car window, this was after flipping out, trying to run into the parking lot, screaming and hitting & biting me and struggling to get her into the car. The meltdown lasted 30+ minutes...then we got home and she was still having trouble and was disoriented as usual, talking in the high pitched voice she has after one of these bad meltdowns, not able to answer questions logically and then she started falling asleep...and I was afraid she may have a concussion and had to keep her awake. Then my family and I were fighting as they blame me for Ali's difficulties and they tell me to forget about her going to school....just to put her into therapy and wait for school until next year. (Ali is only around children one hour a week)
So that is what I am here for....to ask your opinions on my specific circumstances and just your thoughts on the value of school for a child with an ASD or similar disorder....am I crazy (as my family seems to think) to want to try Pre-K and see how Ali does? I am getting her the therapy and neuro. evaluation she needs but I want to try the 3 half day Pre-K program and see how she does. I am thinking it may help her as it will be more structured than just being home with my mom. Ali is excited at the idea of starting school. Her teacher is informed of her disorder and problems and is willing to give it a shot. What do you think???
It may seem counterintuitive, but pre-k could be the best thing for her. My son improved tremendously once he started early childhood (that's what they call special ed preschool in our area) at age 3. The teachers created an environment that was very structured, and very predictable, with a visual schedule that was reviewed all the time so this kids always knew what they were going to be doing throughout the day. We saw what a difference the school environment made and worked with the teachers so that we could carry over many of the same concepts and techniques into our home environment.
It sounds like, through no fault of your own, your home environment is pretty chaotic. The structure a school program provides may be just what you need to get Ali grounded in a routine. All children need structure, and ASD kids more than most. I would go for it.
I would agree that the structure of school would probably be very good for her. My son always loves going to school and behaves so much better at school than at home. Most likely because of the structure. Good luck with your decision!I agree - school will provide the structure and routine and may help settle her down. I know I am anxiously awaiting the start of school here as my ds has been getting more out of control the last few weeks and I know the routine of school will help dramatically!Okay, so the Catholic School near me that has a Special Ed. program asked Ali and I to come in and meet with them tomorrow. They think they can accomodate her. She would get an IEP and be in a reg. class, then after they see how she does, if need be they would put her in the PRIDE classroom part of the day. My only problem is they only offer 3 full days or 5 full days. I am sooooo nervous about throwing her in full days right away. She has never been away from my mom or I and until she gets the results from her neuro. appt 9/17 and starts therapy needed I was hoping she could do 3 half days....I am going to ask them if that is posible.....but what do you think???? With her recent tantrums lately and her continued trouble feeding herself and getting overstimulated, will throwing her into half days be horrible? (Remember my house is kinda crazy...so I am not sure which environment is more stimulating) If they can only do full days what would be better, throwing her into three full days now or getting her the therapy she needs and get her into some social programs and teaching her reading skills myself (I do have an education degree and have done well teaching her some so far) then starting school next year? I just want what is best for Ali....
SHE WILL BE FINE! Payne was 3 years old in a full day program and LOVED it. She will learn to attach to them too...it also will help her with seperation anxiety if that is a problem for her. I had an arrangement where I could come and see him whenever just to make sure - I was nervous too. I'd go eat lunch with him.Thank you! I did contact the other Catholic school that has the PRIDE program. The director said she will contact me tomorrow to let me know if the principal will let her start there & if there is still room. The thing that sucks with doing public school (aside from worry with my ex) is the city public school is not a good school and we are ONE BLOCK away from the county line which would put her in a school 10 times better than the district we are in.
Thank you for your kind response.
Maybe you could work out something to drop her off at one of the better schools instead of her home school?Can they not do a trial period- 2 weeks (giving time for adjustments)? I would call the other school also...I understand the reasoning behind not letting her go to that public school, but I know that that SAME situation DID happen at Payne's school and the principal herself HID the child in the school b/c they knew the situation with the father and CALLED the police and the mother immediately. The police escorted him out and the mom filed restraint...I think he was eventually stripped of visitation b/c of that. You might want to go to some of the better elementary public schools and talk to the teachers/principals...go with your gut reaction though.
Anna you do not need to "convince" anyone esle of ANYTHING. You are Ali's mom, you are her primary caregiver, You know whats best for her. There will always be someone in the family(maybe even more than one), on the street, or somewhere else that "doesn't get it" regardless of all the explaining you try to do. Those people are not Ali's mom. You are. Do not ever feel that you have to have everyone side with you, it will never happen. If you want to put your daughter in Pre-K then do it. If you're not sure then start out with a couple of days a week and gradually build it up.
I'm sure all of the parents on this board has a close family member(this would be parents or the in-laws) that even though you know they mean well, just don't follow the "rules". And do things their own way. As frustrating as this is, you get used to it, doesn't mean you don't want to smack them on occasion, but I fell sorry for them, they "don't get it". We're all parents of an ASD child here, but there is not one person who can know your child better than you. And it sounds like you are doing a great job, Have faith in yourself!!I wanted to chime in & say school could be the best thing for her! Give her
that extra structure & routine, some time out of the house, etc. Is it through
the SD--like a spec ed program? Would she have an IEP? I would go for it,
so long as she has an IEP. This will help address the meltdowns & other
behaviors, as well as incorporate OT-Sensory Integration. Keep us posted!
Hang in there, you really do have a LOT going on.
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