Like many of you, this potty training business has taken a loooong time.
A couple of attempts in earnest, all abandoned because it just wasn't
working, he wasn't ready....you know the drill.
Which bring us to now. He is ready. I know it for sure. It's time. BUT, I
AM SO TIRED AND STRESSED! I have no sitter after this week, I'm in
school full-time, my divorce is being finalized on the FAST-TRACK. I
have to refinance my home and my car, get all new accounts and
insurance, everything transferred into my name, budgeting like
crazy.....you get the picture.
So, am I a total loser for wanting to hire a BCBA to help me do this?
Adding potty routines, and all that goes with it is going to push me over
the edge. But, he needs to learn now. He really does. I need someone
else to play bad cop. I am totally willing to get on board with a program
that SOMEONE ELSE sets up. Just 'arguing' with him this AM about putting
his bottom on the toilet practically sent me into a depressive episode.
not kidding.
Has anyone else ever done this? I feel like a totally stupid mom.
I wish you the best of Luck with potty training!!! When i started potty training my 2 boys age 3 and 4, It was not nearly as bad as i imagined it to be. I too was worn down and tired and i have difficulty getting my boys to "listen".
this is now 3 to 4 months later and we are pretty much potty trained for both. We still have occasional accidents and my house smells like pee pee from the beginning of the training. But it has finally passed.
good luck
Carol
No, you are not a loser. It's tough and you have a lot on your plate. It really doesn't work unless you can commit. So, the fact that you recognize that is good. And the fact that you recognize it's time is also good. I think the BCBA is a wonderful idea. I waited until our BCBA got in before we started and it went pretty fast. The other thing I wanted to mention, my son would never pee sitting down and it took a couple of weeks to realize all he needed was to stand up. Once he stood up and could see it coming out of him, we have never had a problem since. Occasional accidents at this point. The whole process went fast and he is finally telling us when it is time to go. He actually stay dry at night as well. Had no idea it would go so fast.
good luck!
Oh gosh you are not a loser - In fact I am thinking i should do that as well
So good idea
You are a WINNER for thinking of hiring a BCBA privately. For one thing, a BCBA will have some advice about your child's "readiness." Just KNOWING what to do has nothing to do with actually DOING it. There are LOTS of factors involved. When my son became potty trained 11.5 years ago, at age 5, there was no such thing as a BCBA. But I got lots of support from the parent support group and special ed teachers. In the end, I used his sensory defensiveness to get him to use the potty. I simply threw away the diapers and forbade my husband to buy any. My son was without diapers 24/7 and I just grit my teeth and swore to deal with the mess rather than diapers. The mess disappeared in two days because my son got the picture that his choice was potty or misery. Once he chose potty, he never, ever had a daytime "accident." Clearly, he had long been able to control himself but just didn't have enough incentive too. Pee-pee dripping down his legs on a regular basis did the trick. But a BCBA will be able to tell you if this sort of technique will work with your particular son or not. Good luck. And (((HUGS))) for the rest of your troubles.HI MamaKAt, I think we are in the same position. My son seems ready to begin toilet training as well. He is ASKING to go sit in the toilet, though I am not sure if he can tell when he needs to go but he will learn once we start I think? Anyway, with trying to organize all the therapies for him (sensory OT and ABA), nursing a 3 month old bub, practically taking care of everything in the house, I am sooo exhausted and stressed out that I fear I might even have an anxiety disorder building up. Getting the ABA therapist to train sounds like a fab idea to me, but we will only be doing about 10 - 15 hours a week. Can it be done in those hours? I think not. I keep on saying, I will start tomorrow and that tomorrow has not come so far. :(
You totally deserve this, no need to feel guilty about it.
Mary
If you can afford /or need it - go for it.
I would love to have someone help me out. Lachlan is 4:3 and still not trained. I'm not even trying again until December.
Good Luck!
I don't think there's anything to be embarrassed about. If you can afford it, do it. You've got so many extra things to focus on in this phase of your life, and they're not things you can opt out of either. Get help to capitalize on your son's readiness. Best of luck with everything.
I think it's an awesome idea!!! I can guarantee you that I would be doing the same thing if my son was not trained. My son would allow us to potty train until he started pre-k, but if I were you and could afford to have some extra help I'd be all over it. Hire someone to help. That's a great idea. Knowing your limits only makes you a better parent. We all have limits and it's nothing to be ashamed or embarrased of!!!!You have nothing to be embarrassed about! My son is 8 years old and he still isn't potty trained! I too am going through a divorce right now and it is hard to juggle everything and get your motherly duties done at the same time. I would hire help in a heart beat if I could afford. You go right ahead and dont feel bad about it at all!!
Absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about!! I think it's great that you can admit that you need help. For the longest time I thought I could do it all! Whenever help was offered I thought, "no, that's my job, I'll get it done." Well obviously that didn't work out the best! I was running myself dry!
My mom lives right across the street and now she takes Mason to her house once in awhile, just to give me a break. She will even do things like speech work or other things he needs to be working on to help me out. I never wanted to admit that I needed help, thought ppl would judge me and say I couldn't handle my children.
Well that thinking is done, and I take or get help whenever I can now! And believe me if it was in my budget I would have hired someone to help me in those tasks that felt impossible!
Good luck! And big hugs.
What is a bcba? I totally agree with you though, potty training is so hard and you have too much on your plate. I'm doing it right now and it's so draining. I dread it every day. He pees every time I sit him on the potty, but he also whines and says no every time it's time to go. It's exhausting taking him every 15 minutes and cleaning up all the messes. It definately takes a lot out of you, especially when you have other things to do.What is BCBA?
I am in a similar boat. I am a student and start school in a few weeks and we are still working on pooping in the toilet. Well, I am working on it. He has no interest in doing the deed on the potty yet.
He is peeing on the toilet though. That took me about 6 months but once he had that in his schedule, it was rigidly fixed and he hasn't had an accident peeing in his pants for a long time.
I think if there is someone to hire that could really help that would be awesome. I think I would do the same if we could afford it. Parenting my little one wears me out some days with all the things he needs - fine motor help, potty training, social training...etc. If you can hire someone to help, do it.
Board Certified Behavior Analyst. Usually someone who sets up and runs an ABA program and also does Behavioral Assessments.I think it's a great idea and nothing to be embarrassed about! You will be a better parent by being able to focus on what you need to in other areas and letting someone else tackle this issue. I wish I could have afforded that - those were the LONGEST 5 months of my life. I totally understand almost having a depressive episode after trying to get him to pee in the potty - oh man do I remember those days (although I try really hard not to!).I would do that if I could! Its very stressful to potty train, I know. My son pees in the toilet fine but will poop on the floor (takes his pullups off) and not have a second thought about it. Especially with all thats going on right now, I think that would be a great idea for you to do. I wish you all the best!
This is one area I hated the most to deal with and get frustrated just thinking back on how hard it was to train Sarah....it took over a year of training!
Sarah never cooperated for me like the therapists..She still is very stubborn in this area but she is totally trained but sooo resistant to going as often as I would like...I still bribe and reward her and she is 7!
The BCBA set her potty program up and my dh & I could follow up somewhat~but never could be as consistent as they were..and it still took heroic measures forever before she would do it on her own.
You are doing exactly what he needs and dont feel bad..it dont matter how he learns to potty as as long as he gets it:)
Best of luck:)