Am I doing something wrong? | Autism PDD
ABA is a wonderful therapy for getting inappropriate behaviors extinct and teaching compliance and transitioning as well as rules of good behavior with rewarding all attempts towards it and ignoring all the bad escape behaviors like tantrums, aggressions..screaming..ect.. If you can get this for your dd it would make a huge difference..our school doesnt offer it so we did it private..check into it:) Once she is in a routine she will do much better...I wouldnt give her defiance a lot of attn..make a chart of her daily schedule and see if teacher can do the same at school to make it more predictable for her:) Also...social stories are really good at teaching how to comply and follow rules and why:) Hand in there:)
Best of luck!
Swanky...what was the bad bus experience? Sorry, it's under the thread "noise canceling headphones". We'd like her to take the city bus to preschool, and last week did a trial run. My hubby went with her and after one mile of listening to her scream bloody murder he got off the bus and walked home. For a week she was all worked up about "noises in my ear" and the big "bumps and thumps" the "noisy bus" made. Yesterday we tried the bus ride again with noise reducing ear muffs and it was fine, she was happy. Now she talks about how her "mouse muffs" make the bus very quiet.It's definitely not anything you are doing wrong! It is like you said---the autism monster. Many of us have gone through ups and downs with autism and there are days you just take it and handle it and other days you question every little move you make. At least I have.
I don't have much advise, but maybe just implementing some pictures into her routine so she visually is seeing what is coming next. Maybe some social stories for the bus. Even just a picture schedule on how to get dressed will help her get back into the routine of dressing herself.
Good luck and I hope things get easier soon!
My dd has been receiving OT and speech for several months. The first month was tough behavior-wise but after that she's made so many improvements and come so far I really thought things were going swimmingly.But for two weeks now, since a bad bus experience and me telling her she's going to school, her behavior has gone downhill. She's like a wild thing, flipping out over every small thing, telling me "no" and "I can't" and refusing to dress herself even though she can do it without help. I won't help her dress (most of the time) because if I start then she'll want me to do it all the time and I want her to be independent, it'd be like going backward to when before therapy started.
Tonight was the worst tantrum yet, she was screaming and yelling and throwing herself around the room like a little ping pong ball. We live in a duplex and I know my neighbors heard it all, I feel mortified, my daughter screams like I'm sticking her with hot pokers or something. Nobody understands what I'm dealing with and I feel terrible that she's taking a step back like this. I know there will be bumps in the road but she starts preschool next week and I'm really worried she's going to have a melt down on the first day...the first week...the first month...I feel like I'm battling a huge faceless monster called autism, trying to bring my daughter out of this locked cell of hers, and I won't give in to it. But maybe that's not the way to think. I know she's smart and just underneath the surface, I know she can do it, but I feel like my approach is all wrong.
"visual cues, schedules, books, social stories!" to the time I actually
implemented them. I was hoping things would get better, and kind of lazy
about the whole thing.
BUT, then we got the schedule up, and started
to see some changes in dd. So, we added the am & pm routine lists, boards
for bath, toothbrusing, etc. And social stories. They've all helped a lot, and
am SO glad I finally started using them.
We have ordered PECS sets, books, & boards on eBay, and these two sites:
Autism Shopper
Autism Shop
Thanks for the responses. I should probably bite the bullet and buy Boardmaker to make schedules for her, I've been putting it off for a long time because it's expensive. Her speech therapist made a few for her (using the potty, getting dressed, brushing teeth, going to Sunday School) but she ignores them now. I know I've been asking a lot of her lately (change therapists, ride the bus, go to school), but I need her to do this. She wants to isolate herself, she tells me she wants to stay home, but I can't let her do that. We used to be totally isolated at home and I was going crazy, even the thought of going back to that makes me feel panicky. I have some issues I need to work out too, I guess.
No, I don't think you're doing anything wrong. It seems that her stress level is really high right now, and thus small things are pushing her into big meltdowns (like the straw that broke the camel's back).
Do what you can to lower her stress level. Like the others suggested, social stories can help -- since it's stressful not to know what to expect / what is expected of her. There are several sample stories about riding the bus and starting school under the topic Sample Social Stories. The list is disorganized right now, but you can use your browser to search for "bus", etc:
http://www.autism-pdd.net/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14154&am p;KW=sample+social+stories
I might add that it's quite normal for ALL kids to want to be babied a little when they're making an extra effort to be big kids, according to a book I read by child development expert T. Berry Brazelton. Trying to live up to the Big Kid role is hard work, and kids seem to need reassurance that you're there for them, and that they don't have to fill that role perfectly and completely right away.
I certainly see that with my youngest son (NT). Last week I was helping him get ready to start school. We were talking about his new school, that Monday would be his first day, and I was helping him practice writing his name, etc. Later in the evening he wanted me to help him put on his pajamas. He was even lying on the bathroom floor wrapped up in a blanket like a baby! I helped him a little -- put his pajama bottoms on the floor and let him crawl in them, and put his pajama top over his head and let him handle the arms. I'm not saying you should do the same -- each child is different in terms of how easily you can get trapped into a bad routine.
Anyhow, maybe what your daughter is looking for is not so much help with getting dressed, as she is looking for general reassurance. If she doesn't mind snuggling, it might help to snuggle for a few minutes before transitions like getting dressed, talking about what's next, and how you'll support her and be proud of her.
Good luck with everything.
Don't feel obliged to buy Boardmaker just yet. Here is a topic on this forum with lots of sites where you can get links to free PECS.
http://www.autism-pdd.net/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17025&am p;KW=free+PECS
I myself have used the "pictureset" website. It's sponsored by a special school in British Columbia, and they have lots of free social stories, visual schedules, etc. with PECS-type illustrations available in both PDF and Boardmaker format.
Good luck with everything. Hang in there.
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