when do we know the right time | Autism PDD

There are many adults with mild ASDs who are unable to keep or secure
work due to their social difficulties. Some have advanced degrees and lived
independently in college and have otherwise been very successful. My point
is, we really can't predict the future for our kids, no matter how well they are
doing now. I would rather be safe than sorry. The money saved can go
towards any of their needs in the future, not just 'special' ones. I'm saving
for college, too.Great questio - I dont know but I am thinking we should do it soon - anything can happen and I cannot bear the thought of my son not having what he needs i have been thinking about this and i just break down into tears. but now i will be going back to work while my child goes to school and i will be putting an account for him. My personal philosophy has always been to plan for the worst and hope for
the best. I usually say this to my tax clients in terms of retirement planning.
I also think it applies for any of us who have dependents. While our special
needs kids gave us a head start in thinking about this, I have seen two of my
friends' NT kids have misfortune befall them and become special needs kids.

In our case, dh and I both have large life insurance policies and try to save
as much as possible. When/if the time comes, we plan on placing our
savings in a special needs trust for our ds.I think its to early to tell when they are little, around the teen years was when I really improved significantly, to the point ppl thought I was a little odd but could be considered normal.

Midd-late teens would be the time, are they acting their age? Showing independence? It was this time that my parents saw I had the potential to sustain myself in collage, and they started treating me like almost an adult, including driving privlages.

Indeed, everyone is different, and it may be hard to tell just how well they will do on their own, appearences can be deceiving, but if they take initative in the teen years, seem to do better socally, take care of themselfs more, show interest in the future (u may need to sit down and talk to them about that, my parents did). Can they stay home alone for a while unsupervised? Can they perform lifeskills tasks? Can they take care of themselfs without help? Maby assigning some chores as they get older will show ya this. Around this time, u rpobably should stop interveining in their daily lives (i dont mean this to sound dirogatory, but rather, to show u they can handel things on their own.)

In the end, only you know your kids best, its better to be over preped then under, u can always change things. My parents assumed i would be able to live alone when I was an early teen, i showed great gains, every kid is different, but the teen years r important, seems the most growth occures then, as when they are any younger it may seem much rougher.

good luck making an informed desicion and choice, im not a parent, nor a doctor, i just know what i know and being in my parents shoes by the time i was a teen, i probably would have made little attempts to secure future care in adulthood, everyone is different indeed.

Don't make the account in your child's name! As someone else posted - this will negatively impact their ability to get ANY kind of government benefits - which they will most likely need if any of us are gone.

Just wanted to remind everyone of that!

yes, i wont be making it under his name! thanks for advice. probably use my mother. I ask myself the same questions, all the time. But I create anxiety around it because to be truthful I DONT know the future. But I wonder too. It is hard to answer because every child is different. Thanks for posting this, I will be watching what others say.

Yvonne/missnippy

Here are my random and hypocritical thoughts...

I think it is NEVER too early to start planning. I think you should take how your ds is NOW and plan for a level of care that if he didn't improve at all - then what care he would need. Talk to an expert and they can give you more details as well. You can always change it at a later date - but this way your child is protected. You can always move the money out of a special needs trust if your child has improved to the point of no longer needing a label. But you can't do anything after you're gone - so your child will be left to fend for him/herself if you don't start planning.

The reason why I said these thoughts are hypocritical? I haven't done this myself yet - but have every intention of doing so (it's on my list!) once the kids go back to school!

Hi all

,

I hope everyone is well. This is just a follow up to littlebopeep's original post about planning. My question is, how do we know when we should start planning? I mean, is it always a sure thing that our kids won't be independent? I have this hope that my son, who is 6, will continue to improve to the point where he can be independent.
I just don't know if my hopes are valid. As of now, he is minimally verbal (echolalia and 10, one word food requests only). He still stims, but much less often than before, and he relates much better to us (mom and dad). He still is socially uninterested and withdrawn from other children.

I am wondering if after the years of therapies (VB, ABA,ST, OT), if he will improve enough where long term estate planning could be obsolete, KWIM?.

So, at what age should a determination be made, and what should I look for in him, progress wise and developmentally, that would signal to me that I should start looking for long term solutions and assistance.

I thank you guys in advance for you input!!

nakama

We have talked about this, but not actually drafted any paperwork with an attorney. We intend to set things up primarily for the near future. We want to make sure things are in place should DH and I die when our children our young. As our children get older, we will reassess the situation. At this point and time, I want to make sure whomever gets custody will keep them in the same school, will continue with therapies, and will do the sorts of activities with them that they are used to. We also want to make sure that the finanancial matters are addressed just to make things easier for everyone involved.