Help with sensitive subject | Autism PDD
I know a lot of people don't want to have anything to do with this, but I need some suggestions.
There is significant circumstantial evidence that both of my boys are or have recently been abused. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to approach such a sensitive subject with them? It's difficult enough to get typically developing children to talk, but ASD children ???
file a police report. They have pro. that can help. . autism psychologist will report it to the police about the abuse. They have to by law.
Do you really think the police would go forward when I can't even get the boys to tell me something is wrong?
BLU
I would seek out a psychologist and make an appointment as soon as possible. I would not try to broach this with your boys, I would let the psychologist do it. Many children will often give the answers that they think that the people they love want to hear, not always the correct one.
I had an opposite situation in my extended family. My nephew, who has a pragmatic language disorder, woke up one morning with a very red and teary eye, that looked like he was hit in the eye. My sister works, dh stays home, and she sent him to school like that and planned to call the doctor to take him in after work. The classroom teacher asked my nephew how it happened and he said he didn't know. (Note: He didn't know. He has a pragmatic language disorder. He's not going to elaborate.) The teacher, kept badgering him with questions and she finally said "did your daddy hit you?" My nephew said "yes." CPS was called, police showed up at the house to arrest my BIL, my sister was paged at work. CPS brought a psychologist in to meet with my nephew. She determined after spending 30 minutes with him that no abuse occurred and that he hadn't been hit. After this was all over and all were home safe and sound, my sister asked my nephew "why did you say yes whem Mrs. F. asked if daddy hit you?" My nephew said "because that's what I thought she wanted me to say." BTW, the culprit in the end turned out to be a clogged tear duct and it went away by itself in 2 days.
I just wanted to share this with you to show how unpredictable kids can be when questioned about these types of situations and why it's important to have a trained professional question them.
I am so sorry you are going through this. I can't imagine anything worse...
I would seek out an expert autism psychologist in your area. That is the sort of professional who might know what to do. If you need leads, post a topic giving your approximate location and Board members will post. Also, you might try Yellow Pages for Kids at www.wrightslaw.com They have special education resources posted by state.Also a Pediatrician should be able to examine for physical signs and you WANT that evidence if it is there ...My brother works with people of varying disabilities and has worked as a child abuse officer. An experienced practioner will be able to ascertain some adequate answers even in children who are non verbal. Go to your local sexual assault centre or major hospital and ask for a referral.
Good Luck
I know children can sometimes tell stories or say things that they dont mean because of adults kind of throwing things out there. But also lots of times they are telling us the truth and cant dismiss them just because theyr little or have a disability. Of course thats not what your doing but Ive heard of it many times and it makes me so mad!
Also I used to have a friend who was sexually abused when she was alittle girl and when she actually told us, there was a statute of limitations and she couldnt prosecute even if she could or wanted to. But maybe thats just where I was from (hawaii)??
Anyway, I really hope your children can get the help they need and make sure they arnt ever put in a situation that they can be easily taken advantage of which is really hard to do sometimes because you cant protect them all the time. There are alot of sickos and mean people out there. Hope you can find the help you all need and sorry I wasnt much help here!
try role play
give them some dolls and play body parts
can mummy pinch your nose can mummy touch your arm and so on
then turn it to
who touched your arm who touched your leg an so on
children tell alot through play and talking to themselves
i would ring the police hun
love shell
Oh my, how sad and heartbreaking for any parent, but especially for one of children with special needs...
My thoughts are with you...
I would like to add that younger children are sometimes very curious when it comes to their bodys and I've read about and witnessed with my own daughter (3 1/2) how children can become easily stimulated sexually (rubbing against things, putting fingers in inappropriate places?)
I've spoken with my daughters pediatrician about things she has done and my fears that an outsider might believe she is sexually abused, the pediatrician explained that when a child is checked all of these things are considered (like did they do it to themselves) and unless it is something undeniable (like ripping or severe bruising) they will not cross into a legal situation because they fear wrongfully accusing.
Have your children checked out, if you are truly convinced then keep your children out of harms way.......it will be a hard road due to their disability and remember, if at anytime your children are able to communicate that something has happened there is no statute of limitations on sexual abuse.
GOODLUCK. GODBLESS
What things are you seeing that make you think the child has been abused?
Is there an update on this? I'm worried about your kids. What specifically are you seeing in terms of physical evidence?It turns out the male pediatrician is not working today. I would let the female doctor look at him, but my son would (and does) open up to the male doctor more easily. The doctor will be in the office tomorrow, so we are on the list to see him then.snoopywoman -- I'd rather not go into specifics on a forum or otherwise as the sensitivity of the info. Let's just say irritated genitals.
OK! We have been to the pediatrician! He said that yes, there is irritation, but it's most likely due to eczema and contact dermatitis and not ongoing abuse. He did agree that something probably kick-started the reaction, but since my son isn't saying much about it . . . . I did get a list of child psychologists to get both of the kids to see not only for this, but the dad-being-deployed issues.
Thanks to everyone for your support and thoughts!
BLU I am so glad it's a legit irrirtation. You can never be too careful--godd job!
Keep an eye on him nevertheless! I'm sorry to have probed - but your answer was really what I was looking for as to why you were thinking abuse. Irritated genitals was really all I needed to know. I used to work in foster care, so thought I would get a better idea if I knew the symptoms as sexual abuse was something we ran into a LOT.
I do fully understand not wanting to go into details on an open forum - I don't ever use names, pictures or major identifying information here either.
Glad that the issue seems to have resolved for now!
Oh so relieved. I know I HAD to switch to no dye, no smell detergent for me & Payne. I have psoriasis and when I would sweat - I live in FL - it would irritate the be-jesus out of my skin and Payne's would get like a rash on it. We are now no dyes/no smells/ lysol household.
I have involved the school counselor and the youngest will see the pediatrician tomorrow. I'm hoping the doctor can tell me I am overreacting and that the physical evidence is something entirely not related to any abuse. The secretiveness of both of the boys (and the fact that the youngest flat out told me a particular boy had grabbed his privates) has me all but convinced something is not right. Hopefully, the doctor will be able to determine what is going on.If you pray, please say one for us tomorrow!
I am sending prayer your way. Good luck, and leet us know of the outcome.
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