Do you feel you know your child ? | Autism PDD

I heard a mom of an asd kid say that she felt her child was a little
stranger to her. Since most of our kids do -by nature of their wiring-
think and maybe feel differently from us I was wondering if others felt
that way?
I have three kids and I have to say that my ASD son and one of my NT
daughters feel so familiar to me - I just have to look at them and I know
how they think and feel. Even if they process stuff differently from me.

But my other NT daughter has always felt like a little stranger to me. I'd
never say that to her and I hope she does not feel it. We snuggle and
play and talk and I love her just as much as my other two (honestly!) but
in some ways I do not feel like I know her. It is not a good feeling and I
really don't know why it is.
Anyone feel like that about their kid (or partner) asd or nt. I feel like a
horrible parent writing this post (might delete it later).

Please dOnt feel bad about that feeling at all - Actually I have heard many parents who feel that way about a child ( whom they also love very much )

In R's case I know him so well - he really feels like a part of me -

KajoliT39311.551412037I actually feel more connected with my ASD son Brendon. Don't get me wrong...I love Jacob...but he's definitely a little stranger to me sometimes. Sometimes like when she tried to drown her brother in the pool and she was laughing. Yes I was right there but froze for a sec.. I just could not beleive she did that. My biological mom screamed at me on the phone like it was my fault? I think it's natural to really understand some people and not others, even
with our own kids. I don't think you should feel guilty about it. I would be
intrigued by the different dynamics of our relationship. It's a great
opportunuty to learn more about your dd and yourself.

Jasper's my only one, and we are very connected. But I know that all parents
have individual relationships with each sibling in a family. You are definitely
not alone.

[QUOTE=amberwaves] Sometimes like when she tried to drown her brother in the pool and she was laughing. Yes I was right there but froze for a sec.. I just could not beleive she did that. My biological mom screamed at me on the phone like it was my fault? [/QUOTE]

Wow that must have been stressful especially the response from your biological mom - maybe she was just reacting out of stress

Im about to turn 25 and my parents always considered me secretive and aviding discusing anything sensitive, or in fact show emotion, which I had plenty of growing up, it was all, i guess... and much of the time I was content, happy, but if i was sad about the family bird dying, or mad I was being made fun of at school, or even, and i never really meant it, but often my mom thought, as i was a teen ager, that i was sneaking around alot.

I feel they know my sister (tho id never ask them) much more then they know me. To be honest, never in my life have I been more open, and more willing to discus things then at any time in my life. Growing up, I was fortunate to have a good life, and have nice things. My mom was a stay at home mom, my dad worked all the time. Me and my dad always had a strange relationship. Currently, it has never been better, we are actually installing a new bathtub at my place tomorrow, its a job that will require teamwork, and a few hrs, itll be fun. In the past we did stuff too. Unfortunatly, me and my dad are very similar, and i think, that instead of that being something to bond with, it actually caused us to but heads alot, or conflict. Its like having like charges of a magnet and try to get them together, they repell.

I suspect my father of being an aspie, does not appear to like ppl, very quiet, attention to detail (actually, hes a nuclear engineer, has been doin it even before I was born, that that provs anything. I am opposite to on things, and those opposites caused conflict as long as I can remember, being little. I was more attatched to my mom, as i was with her more then any other human being during my life.

I love my parents, but growing up, never showed it, no hugs, or kisses, I talked to them, interacted, but often, i was shut in my room alone (eather forced or by choice.

I may always appear as a stanger to them, but im not afriad to open up to them and discuse stuff now. I have, in the past and quickly discused my past, the HFA thing, and told them I try and give some advice on a website every now and then. My mom was interested, my father said nothing, walked outa the room. We dont discuse that issue, they beleive i was cured when I was 11, and now im normal. They have little knowledge about my DX, and it was evident during my whole life.

Now that I live alone, i visit them every weekend, never have I had a better relationship with them. I feel like I know Sharlet better than anyone in the world. I must say that if I have ever felt like one of my children was a stranger at times it has been my elder NT child too.

Great topic micki

I feel like I have the most special bond with my autistic son, I know him sooo well, its really hard to describe in words. Just love him to bits.

Mary

some ppl r more open then others, doent matter if u have a disorder or not it sounds like, plenty of autistic childrens parents know/understand them, at least now.

Yes. Tuhina, I KNOW.

Now ... my NT daughter, age 3, very bright, just got PO'd at me for telling her to move away from her brother as she could not take turns wit hthe blocks. She went around the corner, BIT herself, and showed me, still spitty, trying to convince me HE BIT HER. Carrying on over the pain ... Now HER, not sure I know!

I feel like I know my son very well. I may not always understand everything he does, but it doesn't matter. I just feel such a strong bond with him, I can't explain it.

Now with my own mom, I knew as a child that I was not as familiar to her as my other siblings. I wasn't at all hurt by that, because I felt the same way. Our personalitys are just so different. It doesn't change the fact that we love each other very much though.

..I feel she is more like me than my oldest dd..very sensitive and naive..my oldest is so darn smart, sassy and much more bolder than I will ever be.

I am like a big mama bear trying to protect her from this mean ol world.