?? about eye contact | Autism PDD

Anna has a hard time keeping eye contact when she is talking but can do pretty good listening and watching others? Is that common?

My second question is this. Today, at storytime in our local library, all the kids were coloring and I noticed Anna kept looking around everywhere and not concentrating on coloring. It wasn't that she looks at anyone or thing, just kinda looks everywhere. Is that a typical thing w/autism? While everyone else was showing off how well they colored Anna was proud to have just colored a picture.

Last question about eye contact. I noticed it gets worse as the day goes on....but she won't nap, has always been hard to get to sleep. Is this typical for autisic children too? WHen she gets to sleep (for a nap) it is like she's in a coma and its very, very, hard to wake her up.

My kids haven't taken naps in years. I know with Jeffrey he doesn't like you looking at him. Now you can catch him looking at you but if you look back at him he says "don't look at me". I do know Jeffrey is a light sleeper whereas Gabe is a heavy sleeper.

Tammy

poor eye contact is very typical of autistic children...

neurotypical people keep eye contact to socially regulate themselves...children without the social component would have no need to look at someone else to see and observe what is going on with the other person. Eye contact has to be taught to them as being a very valuable tool in getting what they want though. Not impossible to do.

I've also heard that looking to long at someone is overstimulating to them. Too much to process.

My father-in-law has severe asperger's and he had to be told to look people in the eyes when they are speaking...his response, "why do i have to look at them, I know they're there"

That cracked me up!

Melanie

That has changed so much over the years. I can remember as a kid being told not to stare because it wasn't polite. I do know if someone has a real heavy accent, I have to look away to be able to understand them. Also I remember an old saying on being aware of the person with the shifty eyes. We were also taught if someone couldn't look you straight in the face and maintain eye contact with you, that was a body language clue that they were lying. Whether or not that is true who knows. I have also heard the exact opposite. That if they look you scare in the face without blinking, that that is also an indication of lying. So who knows on that one.

Tammy

I know with my son Takoda (HFA) he gets right up in my face to talk but won't look in my eyes. He does that sideglancing with his face uncomfortably close and he will do this with strangers if he likes them.

I was told by the first Dr. that saw him that this is part of ASD that they have no concept of personal space. I know this is a huge problem with Takoda.

This weekend we were in Clevend for a religous convention and some of the restroom doors didn't lock. Takoda slipped away from me while I was helping Brodey wash his hands and he walked right in a women's stall. The worse part is without his concept of privacy he stood there and started a conversation with her.

I didn't realize it til I heard her saying there's a little boy in here does he belong to someone? I was never so embaressed!
Nelle

PS. After that I didn't take the two of them without help.
Hey Nelle,

I go to religious conventions to of JWs. I have such a hard time w/the kids then being in a new place w/so many people. Any tips on how to deal w/the large crowds and keeping anxiety down? My daughter often fights us when it is time to go to a meeting. Yesterday she was crying for an hour but when we got there she jumped out of my arms and ran after one of the kids she likes. Acted as if that major tantrum never happened. ???
Mary,

Yes that's were I went this weekend JW (Jehovah's Witnesses convention). It was very challenging to put it mildly. I have been attending meetings and conventions since I was pregnant with Brodey.

At first I thought for sure I would be asked to leave. Not only because I had Takoda screaming and hopping out of his seat but I also had my ODD 8 y/o out running in the parking lot or playing in the men's restroom.
I left in tears more then once but I was offered alot of help and now my kids do much better. The only thing I have noticed is if we miss meetings Takoda gets terible. If I'm there every meeting he will sit there and look at the bible because he likes numbers and letters.
For the convention I would draw him a picture of a clock with the time a speaker would be done or a program break was due. Because he is so interested in learning to read a clock with hands (he already reads digital) he would sit there and study the clock on stage. When they ran over boy did he let me know!
I also found it helpful to sit at the very top row because he is more comfortable when noone is behind him (meetings too.)

As for the crowds Takoda has finally gotten used to them when it's quiet. I just have to be careful because when it's loud he slips away from me and would run off usually back to the top row. I said next year I'm going to make sure his lapel badge says Autistic Child so people understand why he acts so odd and for his safety.

OOPS DIDN'T MEAN TO RAMBLE ON.

Nelle
We get pretty good eye contact from our son, and even strangers get it (if they're lucky!). What's odd about our son is how he'll hold his hands up to block some people's faces, or cover up the faces of certain characters in books.

It's like he's playing peekaboo... only creepier... Jack will face you but rarely makes eye contact and my oldest son is even worse for this he just cannot do it we just replaced eye contact with pyhsical prompts in our house so that they know we are talking to them we also use the bean bag technique
Adam will make eye contact but it is fleeting. Very quick. And also depends on whether he is interested in what is being said to him. When he is talking to us he gives eye contact but when we are talking to him it is hit or miss. Also when adam does nap...which is only every few days....He is hard to wake up and will sleep for hours.

Karrie
My son will do eye contact only when he wants something, but if you want to talk to him or engage him into doing something he will look away or get upset. Also we've noticed with Leo that when it's getting closer to bedtime we start losing him and he retreats back into his own world and we lose the eye contact. Right now it's hard with Leo because he doesnt like it when we try to talk to him or get him focused, might also be the age too I just hope it gets better over time.
I have that prob w/ eye contact myself. I do not like to look at people when talking or uncomfortable. And w/ strangers almost not at all. If I go to a store or through the mall or whatever I never look at anyone. I just don't like it. I took an adult autism test just to see what it said. I KNOW I don't have autism, but I know I have some of the issues that can go w/ it so I took the test to see how many I had and maybe it might explain some of ds's issues. I scored 29 and 32 or more is adult autism, so it may explain the eye contact. Or not I don't know. Maybe many nt kids and adults have issues w/ it regardless.

DS's eye contact has improved lately. It was always ok w/ us anyway. We do have more pervasive ignoring issues lately. People keep telling me to get his hearing checked, and I will to rule it out I mean you never know. BUt he hears what he wants when he wants. If you can say from the other room "want a sucker" in a regular voice and get an immediate response, but can be next to him practically yelling his name over and over w/out him even blinking...you know it's more than just hearing issues. OR at least I think.

Ds doesn't have the sleep issues you mentioned though. HE sleeps pretty light. My dd who is nt she sleeps like dead. You can go in her room, turn on the light, vacuum, pick up toys, you name it she will hardly stir. Dh is same way. Ds you have to tiptoe around. He has night terrors now and wakes at least once a night for anywhere from 5-90 mins.

Amber
My son is a high functioning asbergers not sure of the spelling sorry

He has gone thru mainstreaming, oc, speech, and language. The specialist always told me eye contact is so very, very important. What I used to do was hold his face so he could see me. After awhile he used his eye contact each time someone would talk to him. Its frustrating when they don;t look at you. I worked really hard at with him and it all pays off.
Luke gives us and people he's familiar with (including his therapists) very good eye contact. Sometimes strangers will get it, too ... especially sweet-looking little old ladies or aged gentlemen. Scary-looking people and those who are WAY too forward with him get ignored. (I can't blame him!) His eye contact has improved with the therapies he gets, though it never was really bad. Thank goodness.
Jessi is a highly visual learner. She stares AT people, but has fleeting eye contact when she's interacting with people. If she wants something from you, or she is playing with you she can have great eye contact for periods of time. But, if you're trying to carry on a conversation with her or keep her attention, forget it.

She also stares around and has a hard time concentrating. That's an OT goal that we're working on with her. I know that the more overstimulated, or tired, that she gets, the worse her attention span and eye contact get as well.

Sarah
Carlo has some good eye contact with certain people but, a lot of the times we have to give him cues to look at us when were talking to him or he's talking to us. Sometimes it works and other times we keep repeating ourselves.but that's ok as long as he gets it sometimes.mom2carlo
Thanks everyone! You have been very helpful. I sometimes get stuck in that thinking that autism is "no eye contact" and "no affection"....but I see that it is unique to the child more and more. Sadly, I hear others preach that bogus stuff to me "that she looks at us and hugs so she isn't autistic" and I think "are they right?" but after reading these post I am convinced that its typical things my daughter dose. And, that people w/children like mine are the experts, not these ones whose only education about autism came from watching Rainman.

THanks again!
Mary,

My daughter makes eye contact now, but it took work! I forget who told me this but, they said to have Logyn look at our nose when she is talking to us or vise versa. It worked! Now, every now and then I will say..."look at me or look at my eyes or nose" and she will get back on track. Hope this works!

Jerri
Lil J's eye contact has really improved over the years. When he asks for something he will come and look you right in the eyes, years ago he didn't do this. He does the shy look also when he sees people he knows like his teacher or someone he knows from years ago like his old pre-school teacher or aide.

He has changed so much these past couple of years, my hubby and I always comment on what a cool kid he is. His little brother is cool too, but is a fireball of energy, his eye contact is poor, when I talk to him I have to make sure he is looking me right in my eyes so I know he is taking in what I'm saying.

Oldest--14 Autistic
Youngest-8 ADHD

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