My son is just being horrible--with sexual behavior in public. He thinks it's funny. He "humps" everything in sight---just because he thinks it's funny. He does it on purpose. He has never done any "other" self-stimulating behaviors to himself. He always does it when people are watching and makes weird noises.
I know he wants the attention. But how on earth do I get him to stop??? He will get kicked out of school the first day if this continues!!
I would completely ignore that type of behavior, I think he would eventually stop if you pay it no mind. Seems like he's doing it because it gets a reaction from you. I hope he stops for your sake
Often this behaviour is actually not sexually based, its something they do for comfort or out of anxiety.
Lachlan used to hump everything in sight but we did a sensory diet with him and he stopped stimming altogether. At 7 maybe a social story would help on what sort of behaviour is appropriate for when you go shopping, visit people etc?
Other than that, maybe a switch in giving him something to play with? Maybe some worry beads for in his pocket?
Mysh
That's a tough one. Since it happens in public, rather than at home, it's not enough that you ignore it because strangers will absolutely not ignore it.
I guess what I'd do is make a social story that clearly spells out correct behavior in public -- keeping his hands to himself, standing/walking, and talking quietly. These are positive alternatives to the behavior he's engaging in.
If he starts doing his "show", I'd calmly say "no, stop" and remind him of the correct behavior that is expected of him. If he doesn't comply, a negative consequence would be in order. Taking him out of the situation would only work if he wanted to be there in the first place, which certainly isn't always the case.
If you think he's doing the behavior to escape boredom or to deal with overstimulation, you might need to come up with a creative solution for that. For example, a stress ball, fidget toys, or maybe a weighted backpack with special toys to pull out while waiting in line.
You can try to limit your outings to familiar places (less stimulating) or give yourself a time-limit and let him keep track of the time (if he knows how to read a clock or timer).
Good luck, whatever you decide to do. Let us know how it goes.
He does this at home also. It is always when he's playing with other kids and his sisters. It's not for my attention---but I think for theirs. It's like he wants to be the "class cut-up"---all the time.
Dh took the kids to the water slides and I wasn't there. He was in line with one of his older friends (12y), holding onto the tube for the slide and started humping it. He is just a show-off in my opinion.
All I know--it has to stop!!!!
I know how you feel, I'm one of the guys...and I get strange at some points. Having your mother say in front of Spencer's last night when you're wearing tight jeans to make her shut up about trash barrel..."You look beautiful." Have someone hollar out, "SONNY!" In front of the whole county. Especially, if she wants you to shop after a hard-days at work. When she'll threaten Polly the Insulting Parrot on you, that's why I go with my Daddy when I shop. Moms suck, I know. I can't stay out of the Hardware Store. Then, she pages me to ask my location. I'm usually in the Home Depot trying to make-up my mind of what I'm going to get...and she says, "you're going to regret the masculine behavior you've had, Construction Girl. So, ever since I was ten I've wanted to be a Foreman for a huge Construction Company. Dad and I blame it on her PMS. She's makes a big deal out of that too. She says if I were going to be on a Construction site, I would be the Flagman directing traffic. I was like, "Hell no, I wouldn't want to be one of those Orange-hatted emabrassments." She goes, WTF?" I'm like Woah, Woah, Woah, calm down, she shouts out in public, no one listen to her! She's a girl in Construction clothes. Everything is blamed on the Construction Worker part of it. I don't know why. She makes a big deal when I'm in Lowe's when she calls. It's ridiculous. It sucks.She doesn't realize that I work on the house during the day, and when I ask for a pair of Steel Toe Work Boots for Christmas, she'll kill me. Dad's like, she'll use em'. Maybe even for Wood Shop. She says, "No, my girls will be taking Home Ec. if they want to be a tough girl. All people that go in Wood Shop are puny. All they'll do is go work for a Construction Company. You'll be a stupid man." Big girls don't cry, they do. Especially, when they find the smartass Foreman on their back. They'd just better suck it up. The guys go through less pain, and we get away with it. We don't cry. Only when we are hurting pretty daag on bad. When I'm wearing a doo-rag to school she gets me for that also...it's one of my obsessions. My mother. I dwell so much on her...I think it's about time I quit talking about my mother when she'll be home in an hour. What if on the flipside you give him a consequence for doing this, a punishment. Since isn't stopping with you telling him to stop, maybe take a favorite toy away if he does it. Keep telling him that each time he does it then this toy will be taken. Then tell him if he doesn't do it for the rest of the day, he gets the toy back. Or if you are going somewhere fun, say to him before you leave that you do not want him to do it and if he does, the you'll leave or you won't go at all.Wish I had some advice for you...thats a tough one. I hope you find a way to deal with it soon. I have 3 boys,2 are nt and 1 autistic. My 2 nts are in puberty
and I dread the day little C is. I know your son is too young for puberty, so at least its not a sexual thing, more like a behavior?
Hmmm, older friends you say? I only bring this up b/c I find it helps alot to figure out where the behavior came from. Of course, sometimes we never know and its just there.
I've run into this quite a bit with a family up the street. I like them, they are nice people, but the boys do things, all kinds of things that my son picks up. Guess ds doesn't filter well. <sigh>
So lets say your ds is getting attention from the other kids by doing this, they laugh and carry on. Maybe the 12y/o somehow encourages it b/c he thinks its funny too?
If this were my ds (he's 10) I would try a couple things. The next time this happens, even if it is a group, I'd let them all know the behavior is unacceptable. Be really calm and detatched. Reverse peer pressure b/c the younger kids will tattle. I've had good luck with making it a broad rule for all the kids to follow, kinda takes the heat off the one child. Cuz, after all, the other kids were giving attention for it too.
When my ds picks up stuff, I tend to limit the time he gets to spend with the other kids for a little while to let the behavior fade away, this works for me also.
Good Luck!
Well, if you are sure the function of the behavior is attention then you need to be very about how you manage it. You can do what is called DRI (differential reinforcement of incompatible behavior). Someone suggested worry beads or a sensory toy (may help short term but if behavior is for attention....it may not have lsting effects). What you can do is reinforce behaviors that can't be done while "humping". If he is kicking a ball playing you can reinforce that....give that the attention. I do think with issues like that it is important to get the point across. II'm not too worried about the "older" kids. Jacob is always at my house--either on the xbox or on the trampoline. I am told that he is doing it, when I don't "hear" it myself. The older kids are the ones telling me--besides his sisters!
He is just being silly.
We got rid of "most" of the potty talk by taking him out of the situation and putting him in time-out. But it did seem to come back by the end of the school year.
Every time when I remind me of what he is doing--all I say is "Jacob"---in a certain voice tone and he says--"oh, sorry". We will do this little dance around the situation all day long. I continue to remind him---he continues to say sorry. Nothing changes though. It is time for punishment I guess. I don't not want him going to school acting like this!!
Just a little bit ago, he went to grab his friends hand to go and play xbox---the kids' hand was about at Jacob's groin level. Jacob grabbed it and started in on "his thing". I caught him before he really "touched" the kids' hand on his privates. This really bothers me!! I don't know what to do!!
can think about his getting him to stop and how to do that.
I really hope that coming down a bit hard on him and letting him know
that he is going to get a punishment for this behavior will work. I also use
consequences with my son when he is doing something that I absolutely
have no other choice but to execute this type of parenting. It works, when
he doesn't want his favorite train taken away from him.
fingers crossed for you.
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