Connor does not hold a pencil the proper way, and after a year of OT, they told me his grip is what it is, and it just doesn't pay to try to force him to write the correct way. They were able to correct his issues with spacing, so we discontinued OT after that year. His writing is fine, though not great. He holds a pencil or pen pointing directly away from him, rather than the normal grip where it tilts toward you. When all is said and done, his written language skills improved dramatically when he started typing all of his work. He mostly uses a keyboard now, except for math.
I've never liked the idea of teachers forcing kids to write the "right" way. They forced my youngest brother to write with his right hand, when he preferred to use his left. As an adult, he now does most things with his left, except writing. Grrr! And he's got atrocious handwriting, too. I wonder if it would be better if he had been allowed to write with the hand he was more comfortable using.
So far, Jason doesn't hold pencils or spoons or anything like that appropriately, so he doesn't write. He scribbles in straight lines, since he holds a pencil or crayon really awkwardly. I think he's a lefty, though, so I hope they don't try to make him use his right! I've seen all kinds of adults use what appear to be really awkward ways of writing, but their handwriting is perfectly legible. Whatever works, though typing isn't a bad idea!
Hope you can find a way to work this out for your son!
Like most kids with asd my son has very bad handwriting. His last teacher