do you have to have a delay in social | Autism PDD
skills to be on the sprectrum? I was just wondering for myself b/c I was speech delayed when I was a child but was very socialable. I did have some quirks that make me wonder sometime though.Like I did not let my Dad eat from my food and it would be just him my Mom says and she would get embaressed. I now know it was b/c my Dad had a mustache and it would gross me out and so if he ate from my plate I would refuse to finish it. Also I remember when I was a kid and my sis and I would go somewhere I would lean to close to her(would'nt give her personal space).I'm a a very visual thinker I picture things in my head to help me better think of something.When I do somthing I get a little obsessed and want it a certain way, there's probably other stuff but just can't think of them and since I had a speech delay, I have problems talking in front of a crowd and I don't know if this is really a trait but it's weird that it still affects me in that way. I don't know maybe I'm not, who knows?
NorwayMom I took those tests and the results say I'm NT person, I guess I felt at fault a little for my son's PDD b/c I did have a speech delay. Thanks for the lists of sites.
I think what you've described is your personality/temperament, not a disorder. Many people are visual, even though the majority are more verbal. Everyone has things that gross them out, and you don't mention personal space being an issue with anyone other than your sister.
The diagnostic criteria for an autism spectrum disorder is like a Chinese take-out menu in three parts: social impairment, communication impairment and restricted, repetitive activities/interests. It looks like you can technically get a PDD-NOS diagnosis without a social impairment, but I would think such a child would more likely get a speech or language disorder diagnosis. (DSM-IV criteria here: http://www.childbrain.com/pddq3.shtml).
If you're wondering if you might have Aspergers yourself, here are a few checklists for adults:
http://www.nas.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=128&a=6730 - 11 question screening test for adults
http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/9.12/aqtest.html - Simon Baron-Cohen's Autism-Spectrum Quotient quiz for adults
http://www.rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php - a longer questionnaire.
Both dh & I have some aspie traits, but not enough to be diagnosed. Myhistory especially reads like PDD: developmental delays, picky eater,
hypotonia, 'clumsy,' as a teen/young adult--ADD, anxiety, depression,
OCD, eating disorder, etc. I think possibly as a child, if I were growing
up today, I may have rec'd the label. I see glimpses of PDD in various
family members, we have quite a bit of mental disorders in our family tree
(joy, huh?) like depression, adhd, anxiety, alcoholism, etc. Amongst my
dd's cousins, one has PDD, one may get the dx, another has ADHD &
sensory issues...my older dd has some OCD & anxiety, she is very quirky.
Someone (late, I'm tired, can't remember who it was...) posted yesterday
about being eccentric. I do see on this forum & elsewhere that a lot of
parents of PDD kids are a bit odd, the whole "freaks & geeks" thing...look
at statistics at silicon valley, fathers being engineers, etc. There's
documentation out there, about the parents of kids w/ autism. Seems a
lot of us (& you'll read it here on the forum) move to the beat of our own
drum.
I have come to see that the label or diagnosis is given when the issues are
so many or so severe that they greatly affect one's life & function. My dd
has some very obvious PDD traits, and does stand out from her peers--
she defenitely has autism & it affects every part of her daily functioning. I
think, at least in the case of my family, that genetics are the cause of dd's
autism. Looking through my family tree, it's not surprising. It's as if each
generation got closer to it, and then came my dd, & my nephews. Does
this make sense? Yikes...yawn...I need to get to sleep!
My understanding of autism is that it is primarily a disorder of social
relatedness.
I think we all can have a few "traits" but not have autism. I have always been
an artsy free-thinking wierdo myself-but have always been very social. My
official baby book (!) claims I hit all my milestones early, and "preferred
people to toys" I know I don't have an ASD, but somehow felt compatible
enough to marry a man w/ asperger's (now I know) and be a mother to
a child with autism. I also "related" enough to work with children with
autism for more than 10 years before I had my own. I think there is a
difference between sharing traits or understanding certain behaviors and
having an ASD yourself.Well. my mom said that to bath me or cut my nails she had to have
grandparents come to hold me down. I have a habit of staring into empty
space. As a kid I would never participate in group activities and was
unable to stand in lines. I have dyslexia and could not recognize the
letters in my own name until I was 8. I get panicked feelings from too
much stimulation. My high school teacher called my mom to tell her that
the teachers got together and they thought that I had autism.
But ( and my ds's diagnosis has led to a lot of soul searching) I think I am
NT and an introvert. I might have a few traits (like most people) but I am
good at making and keeping friends and I am good at reading people. I
do not see much social impairment or language impairments in me. I
think my teachers misread a teenage rebellion - I had close friends
throughout highschool and was popular with other kids.
If you look close enough you can see traits in anyone but I think it only
'counts' if there is a true social impairment. And even if there is an
impairment the cause is not necessarly a neurological disorder.Don't ever feel at fault for your son's PDD, or any other issues/illnesses he
or your other children may develop. I know it's easy to do, I've had
moments & I'm sure every parent does. But, it's no one's 'fault,' & the best
we can do is love our kids and roll with it. I don't think any of us would
procreate if we really thought about what we *might* pass on to our
children. Each family tree has something--be it mental disorders,
developmental delays, diabetes, cancer, etc. Genes are at best a crapshoot,
you never really know.
Glad you are feeling better after doing those tests. Funny enough, I always
test as an aspie, and one also said I have a male brain. Go figure!!
Ha! that's funny my Mom said I also had problems staying in lines especially at school and once I started talking nobody could shut me up! LOLHolly_WA, wow you've got your hands full! Just wanted to give you a big
I have never felt that deep loving relationship where you can not live without the other person. I have with other men though(before we were married). I love him---but....something is missing.
So---what I'm saying is....Dh is very social--but he can not develop "deep" relationships. He's never had a best friend. And our marriage is somewhat rocky because he won't communicate with me.
For adult aspies--I think it's different then a child.
I think about my son alot and I hope he won't be like Dh when older. What makes me feel "good" about it is---my son has received help since 3.5y. We are aware of his disorder and do all we can for him. Dh---his family was not ever aware. Never had any therapies or support. They thought he was "normal" as a child. Except maybe his sister. When we told her about his Aspie dx---she said--"that explains why he was always so weird and a geek!" But that is his "sister" talking!
Dh just got dx'd with Aspergers and I would have never guessed it! He is very social!!! But......after being married for 14 years to him, I figured out what was wrong. He can't "communicate" at all!!! For example---we have never really had a "real" talk. We never have talked about super important things---unless it's an "interest" to him. Unfortunately--the kids are not one of his "interests"!!
I have never felt that deep loving relationship where you can not live without the other person. I have with other men though(before we were married). I love him---but....something is missing. So---what I'm saying is....Dh is very social--but he can not develop "deep" relationships. He's never had a best friend. And our marriage is somewhat rocky because he won't communicate with me. For adult aspies--I think it's different then a child. [/QUOTE] OH MY GOD!!!! You have just provided the missing piece to the puzzle. The day I found about Asperger's (I do not know if my husband had a language delay), an inner voice kept on telling me that my husband fits the bill and yet he is more social than I am. You have finally cleared this thing for me. He cannot form deep relationships too, all his socializing is about having a good time. He is too loud and occasionally gets in people's faces. He sometimes misinterprets what people mean and often cannot put himself in other person's shoes. I always thought how can he be so insensitive sometimes, especially when he is a nice guy, very kind and loving, full of devotion to his family. I always had a problem understanding why he does so many things and yet he is a nice guy. Thanks for clearly this up for me. He will no go for an eval, and I don't even want to suggest this (no point in doing so) still its nice to get a possible reason to justify some of his behaviours. Thanks again. ETD I forgot to say that till we got the dx for our son, my inlaws were constantly saying that DS is exactly like my husband. That as a child, he was very active too, and had many similar behaviours. Only now they won't say this anymore.
Mary
happy. He is an interesting and very loyal man with a big soft heart.
I had some issues with my dad growing up, as did my mom -most of
them related to his social incompetance and his dissapearing into his
special interests. Had I known that he was acting that way not because he
was 'self-absorbed' or 'childish' but because he was wired differently I
would have been able to approach it differently. Now that I know my dad
has AS it is easier - I just say 'Please dad give my kids a hug' and he will
gladly do it. I no longer sit there wondering 'Why does he not hug them?' I
can be more direct in telling him what I need and am better able to let go
of the things he can't do.
I just hope my son finds someone who can help balance his weak sides
and appreciate his strong sides. [QUOTE=Holly_WA]
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